Host of Medieval Torture: What is your crime?
Contestant: Whistlin’ on a Tuesday, sire.
Host: You bastard!
You bastard! We’ve got for you, later on, Pro-Celebrity Torture, in which today Toby Gruntsplatter, pain-giver for the court of King Edward the Optical Illusion will be torturing a team comprised of Dennis Waterman’s Show Business Eleven!
Leeeetle peeeeeegs…!
Open up boys, Jertzy wants to finger your entrails!
Dadgummit, what is a Ftoomch? I’ve forgotten, and now it is driving me bonkers…
boom shanka,
bwk
Ftoomch was the dwarf demon who was called to the surface of the earth when his name was spoken, and ended up skewering Neil through the head, and disappearing when he captures another soul - i.e. the guy who delivers Vyvyan’s prize, a new Ford Tippex.
how could i forget, Desmostylus
Doctor martin boots OI!
Doctor Martin boots!
only nineteen pounds ninty nine pence
Doctor martin boots OI!
OK BOOTS, DO YOUR STUFF!