Best: Christmastime is Here, Dave Benoit: quite jazz piano and nice vocal
Worst: Feliz Navidad, which I won’t bother linking too. Fucking annoying earworm.
I love Felix Navidad!
I dislike all Christmas music, but I actually enjoy “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses.
I don’t have time to read through the thread to see if it’s been mentioned, but a song used to play on the “elevator music” at my work back in 2000 that was awful - something about a mouse and a cat out in the cold, the cat curls up around the mouse to keep it warm, the mouse wakes up on Christmas morning and Santa is there, the mouse is all “Cat! Wake up, it’s Christmas” then Santa breaks it to the mouse that his cat friend froze to death to keep him warm, then Santa takes the cat’s body up to Heaven in his sleigh. Thankfully there were no customers because I nearly cried. I only heard it that year, never since.
I loathe “Sleigh Ride.” I freakin’ **hate **snow, and people who are big enough douchebags to stand outside in it and go “Yoo-Hoo!” I wouldn’t have for friends. :mad:
The worst part is, every time I hear this song I can’t get it out of my mind. Yeccch! :smack:
BEST
- Christmas In The Trenches: Not exactly a joyful song to be sung 'round the fire. More like a contemplative, anti-war dirge. But regardless, it’s a bit about the Christmas Truce of 19xx, from the POV of an English soldier.
- Sleigh Ride by The Carpenters: call it a guilty pleasure, but I can’t get enough of the cute 70’s arrangement. And the vocalist who sings about the Christmas party at the home of Farmer Gray, I want to meet that guy and buy him a beer.
- Marshmallow World by Dean Martin: Something about the arrangement just hits all the right notes (no pun intended with me).
- Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives: Burl’s voice is like melted butter.
- Baby It’s Cold Outside by Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel. The video has children pantomiming the vocals, and as such, the lyrics are bowdlerized and considerably less rapey. And when Idinia hits those notes…
WORST
- Jingle Bells by Barbara Streisand: I truthfully don’t think Barbara wanted to record a Christmas album, and she attacked this song with blatant vocal hostility. Either that or she wanted to make it all about her.
- Merry Christmas/War Is Over by John Lennon; Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney: I truthfully don’t think John/Paul wanted to record either of these songs, either, but that they phoned it in because record companies. But I could be wrong.
- Dominick The Christmas Donkey by Lou Monte: offensive ethnic stereotypes. 'Nuff said.
- Feliz Navidad, by José Feliciano: Only 20 unique words in the whole song (I counted).
- The Christmas Shoes by Newsong. 'Nuff said.
Havent looked to closely but
For best… Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and I’ll Be Home For Christmas are criminally undermentioned.
Do They Know its Christmas is criminally undermentioned for worst.
Dear god, you people are bent.
20-odd years of hearing quote-unquote “classics” like “Winter Wonderland” (three different versions!), “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, and “My Favorite Things” (which has fuck-all to do with Christmas!), eight hours a day for six weeks has left me utterly loathing anything from the Bing Crosby-Jo Stafford-Burl Ives oeurve. Professional hazard of a career in retail, I guess.
Best:
“I Believe In Father Christmas” - Emerson, Lake and Palmer
“ Christmas Wrapping” - The Waitresses
“2000 Miles” - The Pretenders
Worst:
Anything from “Christmas Hits of 1953”, with special dishonorable mention to Angela
Landsbury’s execrable “We Need A Little Christmas”.
I love the church Christmas songs of my childhood, especially
O holy Night
Angels We Have Heard on High (even though I can’t sing it)
Silent Night,
O Little Town of Bethlehem
etc.
of pop songs, I like the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version of little Drummer Boy, mostly
because I love David Bowie, and they worked so well together.
I dislike most secular “Christmas” songs, but seriously dislike/loathe.
1)McCartney’s “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas time.” I plug my ears in stores when it comes on, no matter how silly I look walking around with my fingers in my ears.
2)the Madonna version of “Santa Baby”. Eartha Kitt sounded playful and flirty. Madonna sounds like a mercenary whore.
PS. “Baby it’s cold outside” is NOT rapey and creepy. It’s playful and flirtatious. With the cultural trend to consider every interaction between men and women as being suspect in some way, it’s no wonder that the birth rate is falling. Which may be a good thing. But dang, people, lighten up!
Christmas music is 99% crap, gratuitously pumped in to public places to make people spend more money, and the primary reason it’s unbearable to go out in December.
However, Navidad Negra is one great song, though you’ll never hear it any public place in this country.
There are other threads to get into that.
Going from memory here, but the Lennon song was a joint effort with Yoko, which explains a lot, while the McCartney song was the result of Paul basically locking himself into their new studio with a brand new synthesizer and a metric shit-ton of weed and coming out three days later with this.
Worst:
Scarlet Ribbons
The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot
And I don’t know what to make of Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney
Best:
O Holy Night sung by a qualified tenor
Adeste Fideles, again sung by a male with a booming voice
White Christmas, Bing Crosby Only
Blue Christmas, Elvis only
Worst:
O Holy Night sung by a woman
Little Drummer Boy (ox and lamb kept time, my ass)
Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree
Winter Wonderland (hey Parson Brown, mind your own business if we’re married or not)
The First Noel (ain’t no fucking place called I-is-RYE-el)
Best:
‘O Holy Night’ - Celine Dion does the definitive version
‘Christmas in Sarajevo’ - The least sentimental Christmas song I know
‘Little Drummer Boy’ - yes, horribly over played. Still…
"Mary’s Boy Child’ - Harry Belafonte. My mother was/is a huge HB groupie, and I have heard every album he ever recorded prior to about 1974.
‘The Borning Day’, also by Harry Belafonte. Sort of a West Indian interpretation of the visit of the shepherds.
Worst:
"Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’ - there ain’t enough egg nog in the world to make me listen to this dreck again.
‘Have a Holly Jolly Christmas’, by Burl Ives. Hey, Burl - see that angel on top of the Christmas tree? See where the tree is stuck? Take the hint.
‘Feliz Navidad’, by Jose “I Am Going To Wish You A Merry Christmas 146,000 Times” - if there ever is a War on Christmas, I know who I am hoping is among the early casualties.
‘Christmas Shoes’ by Somebody Who I Don’t Remember But Still Resent Deeply - This is so bad it’s good, and also so bad it’s still bad.
As Gumby says, “Merry Christmas, dammit”.
Regards,
Shodan
Best - Carol of the Bells, even sung by a boys choir is sounds outright menacing and that is awesome.
Worst - The Twelve Days of Christmas, awful, just awful. Walking away has saved me from listening to the complete song since I was a child.