Your Best Fun But Completely Useless Skill

[Euphonious_Polemic]

@ralph124c

I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

“Release the Kraken!”

[Gatopescado]

Skiing. Brewing. Pretty good motorcycle racer back in the day, for my class. I would add throwing darts, but I have actually won a lot of money doing that, so not so useless.

[ZipperJJ]

I can make accurate, complicated and nested HTML tables in a text editor very quickly.

No one has needed this skill since, like, ever.

[MrAtoz]

@ralph124c

I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

So can I , or so can any man. But will they come when you do call them?

In college I used to amuse my friends by identifying (by title) any given episode of Star Trek after seeing only the first few seconds of the opening teaser. Strangely, this skill did not lead to fame and lasting wealth.

[Malthus]

@jsgoddess

I can do that! Can you do it with your arms?

Since you probably have a good shot at it, try this:

Put both hands flat on the table. Lift the ring finger of your left hand and the thumb of your right. Put them down. Now lift the middle finger of your left hand and the index of your right. Keep going. When you run out of fingers in one direction, switch. Then try it offset by two fingers (middle finger left and thumb right, etc.). Or try it ring finger to pinkie. I’ve only ever met one other person who could do this without struggling–one of my sisters.

I can do the arms thing.

I can’t do the fingers thing, not without messing it up.

[Locrian]

Voluntary nystigmus: I can shake my eyeballs really fast. Works great convincing people to stay away from you.

[Barkis_is_Willin]

I can move my eyes independently from each other, so I can roll one around but not the other. I was just grossing out my wife with that one at dinner last night, trying to teach my son how to do it.

@jsgoddess

I can do that! Can you do it with your arms?

Since you probably have a good shot at it, try this:

Put both hands flat on the table. Lift the ring finger of your left hand and the thumb of your right. Put them down. Now lift the middle finger of your left hand and the index of your right. Keep going. When you run out of fingers in one direction, switch. Then try it offset by two fingers (middle finger left and thumb right, etc.). Or try it ring finger to pinkie. I’ve only ever met one other person who could do this without struggling–one of my sisters.

I can do this with the fingers on the table, but I can’t easily twiddle thumbs in both directions. Gotta really think about it and only then very slowly. Not even sure how to do that without hitting them together.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

@WhyNot

Umm…I’m pretty good at fire poi. Not the best, but not a noob, either. That will probably only come in handy in the event of a zombie apocalypse, and only if zombies are flammable.

No! Lighting zombies on fire is mistake! Sure, it’ll kill the zombie eventually, but a burning zombie can do a lot of damage.

My useless skill? Mastery of anti-zombie fighting techniques and weapons.

[Doctor_Jackson]

@Brodi

I have trained a chicken to perch on my arm.

Me, too! Admittedly, the one I trained came out of a bucket, in pieces.

[wonky]

@Doctor_Jackson

Me, too! Admittedly, the one I trained came out of a bucket, in pieces.

If it gets there under its own power, consider cleaning out your fridge more often.

[No_umlaut_for_U]

By tasting, I can tell you what sweetener has been used in a beverage, especially whether it’s cane sugar or HFCS.

Damn useless, I tell you.

I can also tell most organic solvents apart by odor. Slightly more useful.

[RTFirefly]

I can quickly tell you what day of the week a given date fell on in a given year. For instance, today is Monday, September 14, 2015. In 1915, September 14 fell on a Tuesday. Can’t get any more useless than that.

[UncleRojelio]

I could probably still wire wrap a circuit board like nobody’s business.

I know morse code.

[neofishboy]

I got pretty good at the Happy Days elbow coin snatch. I’ve managed 40 quarters a few times, but I can’t do it consistently.

Also, the cherry stem thing.

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

I used to be able to toss an M&M–or something similar–better than 40 feet in the air and catch it in my mouth. Maybe higher. Haven’t tried it in years.

Need to go to Walmart, 'scuse me.

[Misnomer]

Whack-A-Mole

[GrumpyBunny]

I trained my cat to walk on a leash. Also trained a ferret to walk on a leash.

I can read upside-down and backwards, even cursive/italic-style or Ye Olde English fonts. But this might not count for this thread, since I learned how to do it when working at a place that printed wedding invites, napkins, and matchbook covers.

Wow. People used to have their names and wedding date printed on matchbook covers. I just dated myself :smack:

[Asimovian]

I am an above-average bowler.

Also:

@jsgoddess

Put both hands flat on the table. Lift the ring finger of your left hand and the thumb of your right. Put them down. Now lift the middle finger of your left hand and the index of your right. Keep going. When you run out of fingers in one direction, switch. Then try it offset by two fingers (middle finger left and thumb right, etc.). Or try it ring finger to pinkie.

I have watched this in person, and it is freaky and unnatural.

[Intergalactic_Gladiator]

I can jiggle my eyes back and forth really fast.

[pullin]

Trailers. I pull trailers a lot (hence my username). I frequently pull two at a time, and I can back them up with ease. I can do it around corners, into tight places, and usually with only one try. I can place the back of a doubles rig that’s 65 feet behind me within a couple of inches of a target. I spent several years as a yard hostler* in a freight company and I guess that’s where the skill came from.

*Guy who takes the 18-wheelers from the OTR drivers and parks them at the loading doors. The lot was so tight where I worked that only the hostlers were allowed to position trucks.