Dancing is wonderful exercise, even for people who aren’t good at it. Exercise improves physical fitness, which should be encouraged.
:rolleyes:Okay, so what you do is sit him down in a chair against a wall and you hover over him and you point your finger and you say…
Loo’, Billy.
This is a minin’ town. This is a minin’ fam’ly.
When th’ men-folks go ta work, we goes down inna da groun’ an we digs.
Da’s what we does.
Da men-folks…
We don’ dance
We don’ go flappin’ ah fingahs an arms
An we sure’s ‘ell don’ wear no dresses, y’unnerstan’?
Nah, Billy, what you wants ta do—
:rolleyes:Ah, forget that. Just sit him down and have him watch Billy Elliot with you.
Maybe a scene like that will come up and you can make him watch it a dozen times.
Hmm…well, maybe that’s a bad idea.
He might identify with the kid and get some stupid idea that he could learn ballet and be the next Nureyev or something. Better to yell at him, “Boy, you’re just not Godunov!”
Okay, okay, seriously then:
Throughout elementary school and most of Jr. High there were two opposing factors in my life. First, I really really wanted to join the teams – baseball, football, soccer, even the dance and gymnastics that my sister was doing. Second, I was the smallest, weakest, slowest, least coordinated kid in the world. I couldn’t hit or kick the ball, couldn’t run fast, and couldn’t catch. I was always picked last for PE teams because I was the easy out. The only time I did well was in dodge-ball, where I was always the last one standing and nobody could touch me. The problem is that dodge-ball was only one in our rotation of 15 games each semester and there’s nothing useful about being able to predict the path of an independent moving object while you’re also in motion […unless you like flying, sailing, driving, walking in crowds, or getting your rockets to the right place at the right time :smack: –- but, hey, I digress…].
So Mom had avoided letting me take karate or kung fu lessons because
[ul]
[li]I was the smallest, weakest, slowest, least coordinated kid in the world[/li][li]She didn’t want me kicking holes in the walls[/li][li]Kids were already picking on me and she didn’t need the ramifications of me fighting back[/li][li]She didn’t want me in a class where getting beaten-up was considered normal[/li][li]We couldn’t afford the uniforms and monthly fees[/li][li]Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera [Thank you, Yul Brinner].[/li][/ul]
At the end of 8th grade, I came in one night from hanging out with my sleazy friends and Mom handed me a pamphlet for a free karate class being held in a church basement. No uniforms were required. Mom liked it because it would cost her nothing while getting me away from the sleazeballs I called friends* and I liked it because I finally got to try martial arts. I found out immediately that it wasn’t all the flash and fancy moves I saw on the movie commercials (Mom wouldn’t actually let me see the actual movies; that could give me dangerous ideas and ruin walls), but I liked the challenge and worked really hard in class.
Three months later, that instructor moved to another county.:smack: I hadn’t proven all that great in class, but since it kept me off the streets, Mom agreed to pay for lessons at another place. A month after that, while playing softball in PE, I realized, “Hey, this stick is just a long-staff with a funny shape and balance!” and I hit the first home-run of my life (and I’ve consistently hit homers ever since). A month after that, I was catching footballs in the end-zone. A week after that I was tackling quarterbacks twice my size. Somewhere along the line, the bigger kids stopped picking on me – not out of fear, but just because I wasn’t acting like the smallest, weakest, slowest, least coordinated kid in the world (i.e. living, breathing, roaming bully-target) any more.
My point is that when I was finally allowed to pursue my interest – and connect with a teacher who could hone my talents and focus my training properly, I not only excelled at my chosen pursuit but also gained the basic coordination, strength, and confidence to do well at other things. Ultimately, all of that not only gave me the confidence to try other things, but it gave me the self-assurance to be able to fail at things and not let that failure destroy my universe.
Maybe Irish dancing isn’t right for your kid. See if he wants to try ballet, tap, ballroom, flamenco, square, disco, or some other kind of dance. Maybe a martial art (WuShu is often done to music) might be better.
Not only do people have different learning styles, but teachers have different teaching styles. And not every instructor, regardless of his skill as a practitioner, can teach well. So maybe Irish dancing is right for your kid but the instructor or the class format isn’t conducive to your kid’s way of learning Irish dancing. When I changed karate schools and instructors, I really excelled and I learned from my teacher how to teach well – not just martial arts but other subjects, too. As a teacher, I also saw other instructors at my school with varying degrees of teaching talent – and it’s a talent that you have or lack, not a skill you can learn. Part of my instructor’s talent was the ability to perceive a student’s learning style and adapt his teaching methods to fit.
Last point:
I was watching a documentary on TV about a woman who invented and sells some high-tech revolutionary gadget. The remarkable point for the interviewer was that the woman was an engineer and women are typically discouraged from even entering that field. The remarkable point for me was what the woman mentioned in her past: Her father would come home every day from work and cheerfully ask, “What did you fail at, today? :D” and her father’s encouragement to try new things and rejoice in the failure helped her learn not to fear failing – and from that she learned to persevere and make her own success.
In that light, if I was around, I’d find your kid after every dance class and say, “You were horrible out there today. Did you have fun? Yeah? Well let’s come back next week for more fun!”
For what it’s worth:
Einstein failed at algebra. Good thing he persevered.
Edison also failed numerous times.
Robert the Bruce failed seven times before rallying his army to win.
*Mom, my old friends went on to become very successful salesmen and got very very rich when they were still teenagers. What? No, of course it wasn’t legal.:eek:
—G!
I’m the worlds….most
Opinionated man.
. --Stephen Stills (Crosby, Stills, and Nash)
. Anything You wanna Know
.
Frylock, you quoted this statement and indicated it resonated. Cool.
I will add this: desire to do well matters a whole lot more than innate skill.
I started playing guitar when I was 15. I sucked. Suuuuuuucked. But I was really, really into it and kept at it. Now, 30+ years later? I play just great and love having it in my life.
But I had a number of people try to talk me out of sticking with it when I was first getting started…didn’t help.
This thread reminds me of my own 6-year-old boy. He has gross and fine motor delays.
We live in Canada. What is our favourite pastime? Hockey. So, around here, kids start to skate as soon as they can stand and get enrolled in hockey at around the age of 4. My son just started skating last year.
But he chose hockey as his one activity for the year. I wasn’t going to say no. In the weeks leading up to the try-outs (not really try-outs since everyone gets put on a team, more of a chance for them to even the teams) my husband and I work with him on holding a stick and shooting and practice his skating.
I send my husband and him off to the try outs and just try not to think about it. They come home two hours later and my son is just BEAMING. He had so much fun! Puzzled I pull my husband asided and ask him what happened.
My husband relays that he was, by far, the worst skater, the worst shooter, the slowest and all-round worst performing kid there. He would fall down repeatedly and just get right back up and keep skating and trying with all his might.
When I came back to my beaming son he said to me, ‘I wasn’t very good, mommy, but I tried really hard.’
It may be the proudest I have ever been of him.
(He still stinks but he is everyone’s friend on the team because he is just so darn postive.)
Let the kid dance.
perfectparanoia, that brought a tear to my eye. You’re right to be proud!
Frylock, I think motivation and effort are much more important, in most cases, than innate talents. Please don’t discourage your son from doing something he enjoys. Let him learn from his own experiences - far better that he decides to quit dance later because kids make fun of him or his instructor tells him he’s not up to snuff, than it would be for his parent to tell him he’s a crappy dancer, or that he’s not allowed to dance anymore. You’ll be there to support him through any hard times this may bring him. But you don’t know it will at all - it could be a very positive experience for him his whole life.
I’m hoping your son turns a corner in the next couple years with his coordination and is able to get better at dance. It could happen!
Hey, they told Hal Gill he’d never play in the NHL because he has no shot, is a terrible skater and is slow as molasses. His 6’7" frame was more suited to a quarterback (which he played in high school).
Good thing he didn’t listen: he’d like to show you his 1000+ games played and his Stanley Cup ring.
He will get better if he continues classes.
Kids have a unique ability to learn almost anything. Languages, sports, dance, music it’s much easier for kids than adults to learn new skills.
Your child may never be a gifted dancer. But he will get better if he sticks with the classes.