Another one here that’s allergic to real trees. We had one for the first three or four years of marriage, and then mein Herr got tired of me ending up in the hospital with bronchial pneumonia every year. I would adore to have one, but the medical bills aren’t worth it.
I don’t do trees anymore but it used to be a foot high plastic one we left up all year. At the time we were living on solar and used xmas lights for ambient light. Cheery.
Fake. And I sulk each year about it.
We used to have a real one. I do miss that smell. But then there’s:
- the expense, easily over $100 now,
- the hassle of getting it home, tying it to the car roof,
- keeping water in the stand and off the carpet,
- the needles, especially when taking it back out,
- the fire danger, can’t put it anywhere near the fireplace.
One year we drank a bunch of champagne while taking the tree down and decided Hey, let’s just cut off the branches with pruning shears and burn everything in the fireplace. Wow, those pine branches really take off. Good thing with all that heat we weren’t putting a bunch of pitch into the chimney.
Gah, you can’t buy a Christmas tree. One must stalk, slay, and haul the holiday bush home. Preferably under the cover of darkness and under the influence of yuletide spirits.
Last time we got a tree it was a bit spur of the moment. I cut it down with the axe from my trunk by the light of my friend’s cell phone. We tied it to my Cavalier with an extension cord.
Does anyone else have that relative who just can’t put up a tree to save his life? Dan always cuts about 14’ of tree and then he’s shocked when it won’t fit in the living room. Then he cuts the top off of it. Ah yes, the Christmas cylinder…
$100!? For a fucking tree!? Holy cats, I’d have a fake one too, that’s insane. The Boy Scouts in your area must make a killing.
I once burned several cardboard tubes after wrapping all of my packages. I’ve never heard such a horrible sound out of our stove. Ball. Of. FIRE.
Real. Why, you ask, a real tree, if it’s so much hassle, with the cutting and needles and all?
The same reason my wife always plays the same music when making christmas cookies:
Tradition!
I can’t, simply can’t, bring myself to put up a fake tree; it’d be like having a full on Thanksgiving dinner with no turkey. It doesn’t matter if the turkey sucks compared to everything else, it still has to be there. The tree has to be real, and really, I feel wrong if I didn’t cut it myself while laying in the snow.
And, of course without real trees, there would be no tree burnings.
Hee hee. You should come with me to Mrs. Homie’s side of the family’s Thanksgiving this Thursday. Her grandma does all the cooking, and she bakes the turkey until you could snap it in half.
Excellent point. How could we have the New Years Eve sledding party if there were no Christmas trees to burn?
That’s pretty crazy. I get a 8 foot one from Home Depot for around $30. Very pretty too
We had a real tree the first few years of marriage – it’s what we both grew up with – but switched to a fake for the reduced cost, mess, and hassle. I still love the real trees but would not go back.
I don’t get the point of real trees. Cut down a perfectly healthy lifeform, take it inside, make it look like what we think is pretty, then when it dies & dries out, haul it to the dump? What a waste. (But then hey I prefer to not receive flowers either.)
Sadly, we may not have room for a tree (of the artificial variety) this year. Maybe I can do like I did in '06: make a printout of a tree graphic and hang it over the living room window.
Hey, where do you think the paper for that printout comes from?
J/K, but really, living here in Ontario, Christmas trees are a pretty sustainable resource.
Ah, you got me there. 
I dislike realistic artificial trees and prefer those that give the impression of a tree but deviate from it if that makes sense. For example, I always loved Kim Novak’s character’s tree in BELL, BOOK & CANDLE- pic in middle column left- and have always wanted to commission one similar to it (I’d say build but I have no talent with my hands). I’d like one similar, only with glass or thick plastic shelves atop the hoops (perhaps with the neon edges) on which you could place ornaments and decorations (Nativity sets, or secular Rudolph and CHRISTMAS STORY figurines I’ve seen sold, or little wrapped boxes, whatever).
Fake. We used to have a nasty little fake one before we bought a house, but the year we got our house we bought a big one (that barely fits under the lounge ceiling) and a bunch of fancy looking (but actually cheap) decorations in red and gold along with a very nice angel cough I mean “fairy” to put on the top.
Looks great.
A bit off-topic, but- There was an “area man” (more like ‘local imbecile’) who a couple of years ago made the nightly news by decorating his real tree with actual candles and leaving it unattended for a few minutes. Of course it went up in flames and took most of the room with it and prompted a bunch of “Christmas Tree Safety” editorials on the local news.
One newscaster had a great ‘here’s your sign’ nominee moment when she said said “That’s the single biggest advantage of artificial trees, that just doesn’t happen.” Apparently artificial trees are not flammable when you leave several open flames under their branches and then walk away for a while.
(My former boss, first generation Russian-German whose family did Christmas old style, used to do open flame candles on her tree- it was gorgeous- but she took every possible precaution including fire extinguishers nearby and spacing the candles and the like and even then only actually lighting real candles for brief periods of time during her annual party while she was in the room.)
I can’t put up my Wildcat Blue tree in the office this year. We’ve rearranged and I now have no room for it. However, last night I found the perfect office tree. Kroger was selling the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree: complete with one little red ornament and Linus’ blanket. It will be perfect on my file cabinet.
I like the real ones. I buy the smallest available soon before Christmas or top a tree in the woods if I have time. The first 48 hours the tree will take up more water than the following weeks. Dont let the reservoir dry up in the critical first 2 days. I take it down less than a week after Christmas. No needles, nice smell, fun and a good bonfire.
It is a bitch getting them straight but I think it is worth it.