First, let me say that I am a graduate of the Midvale School for the Gifted. I’m always pushing when I should pull and vice versa, and Mr. Scarlett and MomScarlett just cackle away at Miss Skipped-a-Grade.
That said, here are my top three:
(1) The sad dog who has to stay indoors and practice the violin while his friends are out having fun tormenting the mailman.
(2) (Hmmm, I’m sensing a similar theme here) The wolf sitting at a desk (with pencil cup) under a tree, gazing longingly at his friends in the distance chasing deer: “Lucky skunks . . . I hate this desk job.”
(3) The workman in Hell, with an angry Satan standing over him with hands on hips, hunched over a piece of paper while standing in front of a door over which “999” has obviously been freshly painted: “Well, what the – I must have been holding the dang work order like this!” (clipped when I worked in a place where no one seemed to bother to read the work order EVER)
A woman driving down the road looks in her sideview mirror, which has a HUGE eye filling it. The usual disclaimer is on the bottom: “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”.
The caption says: “How nature says ‘Do Not Touch’”
There are four frames. One has a blowfish, another has a snake, I forget whats in the third, but the fourth has a man on a street corner with a crazed look in his eyes wearing a trenchcoat, a boot on his head, a swimring around his waste and he’s holding a bazooka.
An old woman is vaccuming the couch and has the cushions off when she spys her husband stuck in the crack. “Well there you are! I’ve been looking for you.”
A guy is pushing a wheelbarrow through hell whistling happily to himself. One devil says to another, “I don’t think this guy gets it.”
IIRC, the caption was something like “When animal mimicry goes awry”. The deer is camouflaged as a hunter, and trying to mimic human speech, so he doesn’t get shot. The problem is that he doesn’t understand what he’s saying, so it comes out weird, and the (incredibly dense) hunter is getting suspicious.
The dog is in the laundry room, and is hiding behind the open dryer door. On the inside of the door is written “CAT FUD”, and there is a trail of food leading up to it. The cat is following the trail, and the dog is thinking “Oh Please, Oh Please”
The one where the scientist has a math formula taped to his back (ala “kick me” style), and the other scientists are behind him giggling with their hands over their mouths.
The one where the professor has invented a device that will decode what dogs are actualy saying. All they’re actually saying is “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”
A dingo farm next to a daycare center. The caption says “trouble a brewin”.
Someone will have to help me with this last one. A scientist is at the end of a chalk board and he’s saying something like “Eureka!! I’ve just solved the problem” or “Eureka! I just figured out how to …[insert something important here]” and at the other end of the chalkboard is is the housekeeper cleaning the chalk board!
Bedraggled man crawling through the desert towards a water hole. Overhead are two vultures:
Vulture 1: “Darn! Looks like he’s gonna make it.”
Vulture 2 (carrying an upright piano): “Oh, no he’s not!”
Old West setting with carboard cutouts of hillbillys holding shotguns. Caption: “The Fake McCoys”
Dolphins at the side of a tank, a few scientists standing near the edge. On the chalk board are several phonetically written sounds with tally marks underneath them. Caption: Ohhh ohhh, it’s another one of those “awe blaiu ess pan nyol” sounds! The blackboard is filled with Spanish expressions.
Can anyone help out with the real caption? I know I’m close, but would be great to taste the real memory. This one kept me giggling for quite a while. Keep 'em coming!
Originally posted by Sunshine
Ok, last one: There’s a building and the sign on the building indicates it is a school for the gifted and talented. There’s a little kid at the door, holding his books and pushing with all his might to get the door open. There’s a little sign on the door that says “Pull”
thats one of my favorites.
Another one I enjoyed was the one where the dog is talking on the phone to the cat, who was talking about how helpless it was.
Okay, my favorites are the ones with the cows. Of those, my favorites are probably:
Two cows sitting there as the phone rings. One says, “And here we sit, with no opposable thumbs.”
A car drives past a field full of cows. The cows are shouting at the people: “Yak, yak, yak!”
I also like the one where there’s a couple showing slides to another couple. The slide is of a woman standing with the devil. The guy says, “And this is from when Helen and I went to hell and back.”
And the one in hell where one guy says to another, “Man! Even the coffee’s cold! They thought of everything!”
I guess I like the hell ones as well
One of my favorites…
Frame one shows a hunter shooting a bear from behind while it is drinking at a watering hole.
Frame two shows the stuffed bear in the hunter’s den, looking all ferocious and ready to attack.
Oh, for me it’s any of the cow ones.
“Cow Tools”, even though I know a lot of people didn’t get it.
The one with the cows standing in the field, till one yells, “Car!”
The one where the cow rings the farmer’s doorbell, and runs away.
Also, the “Boneless Chicken Ranch” and “Midvale School For The Gifted”.
The one with the woman coming back to her house from the henhouse with a basket full of eggs, while the chicken is leaving the woman’s house with a baby.
The one with bears making funny faces at you, with the caption saying, “Please do not feed the cartoon bears.”
Rats. My “Far Side” books are all in boxes in the basement. Now I’ll have to go get them out and read them again.
I liked the one where the father is calling upstairs to his son (who is in his bedroom) and telling him that he will summon a monster to eat him if he doesn’t settle down. In the father’s hand is a rope tied to a huge scary balloon head which he is holding just under the kid’s bedroom window.
I also laughed at the dog-scientists trying to solve the Doorknob Principle.
When I had to have my gallbladder removed, I went into the operating room with a Far Side cartoon taped to my stomach.
It was of a bunch of surgeons gathered around an operating table. One of them is looking up as a small, squiggly looking organ goes “FWIINNNNGGG!”. “Somebody remember where that thing lands,” he tells the others. Just below the cartoon, I wrote “Please be very careful. It’s my first time.”
The doctors didn’t find it (or the bag of Hershey’s miniatures that I was bribing them with) until after I was under anesthesia, but I understand they really enjoyed it.
Einstein standing in front of a chalkboard and it says “einstein discovered that Time is Money”
Also there is one that has two cowboys in a bar and slung over their shoulders are tubas. I dont remember what they said, but they were alluding to the tubas being replacements for their guns.
Grabbing for his Off The Wall Calander
One spider surprises another spider with a paper bag over it’s head, and spider no.2 has had an ‘accident’ and released a load of web and spider no.1 is saying “Geeze, Bob, did I scare you or what?”
Another one is where three Egyptologists have just opened a sarcophagis and the pissed off mummy inside is pointing at them and saying “ok, lets see… thats a cures on you, a curse on you and a curse on you…”
A guy in a bar is trying to chat up this girl and one of the barflys is watching the TV and says to guy no.1 “Hey Norton, ain’t that your dog attackin’ the president?”
A ‘pepperpot’ type lady is in her living room and there’s this HUGE eye looking in the window. She’s on the phone sayding “Hello, Emily? This is Gladys Mitchell from down the road… Fine thanks. Say, could you go to your window and describe whats in my front yard?”
I’ll leave it there for a bit…
Is the Far Side available anywhere on the internet? I haven’t been able to find anywhere…
