Don’t worry, Dave’s not dead, I just thought this would be a cool thread to start.
WARNING: MAJOR NOSTALGIA TRIP APPROACHING
Being a David Letterman fan back in the early 80’s was like getting in on the ground floor of something great, or being a member of a really cool club that few people even knew existed. My only complaint back then was that I had to yawn through the “Tonight” show waiting for Dave to come on.
First there was his ill-fated morning show in the summer of 1980, a curious blend of Letterman’s wit peppered with news updates from NBC’s Edwin Newman. He had a band leader named Frank and the running gag was that Dave would say “The band’s really cooking today, Frank”…cut to a shot of Frank grilling some wieners on a grill. “Late Night” debuted in 1982 and my adolescent memory-structure is peppered with moments from that show:
The Revolving Screen Show, where the screen revolved 360 degrees throughout the show.
Dave goading Teri Garr into taking a shower on the air.
The Sped-Up Show, where they re-played the show in fast-motion.
The dropping-stuff-off-of-a-building sequences, and the running-stuff-over-with-a-steamroller sequences.
“Mr. Curious”…hidden-camera segment with Dave on the street asking passers-by if he could peer into their bags. Many complied.
Dave interrupting a prime-time taping of the “Today” show, announcing out his office window with a mega-phone, “I’M BRYANT GUMBEL…AND I’M NOT WEARING PANTS.”
I’d have to say it was that 10th Anniversary show (last year sometime, I think), where at the end they did that big memorial montage to the old guy (the bee dude from the phone commercials–his name eludes me right now). After the memorial, Dave was in the middle of saying how much he was going to miss him when Bee Dude walked out behind him and said “I’M NOT DEAD YET, YA BASTARD!!!”
Classic.
The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.
My favorites by far are when Dave goes out on the street to do skits. Example- when he worked the take out window at McDonald’s…“So, what you’re saying is you want just one, Really Big french fry?” or, “Hey, my break’s coming up, so I’m just going to add on a burger to your order for me, o.k.?” Pretty funny.
My favorite on-show gag was when as part of a top 10 list (Things to do or something) one of the tasks was to photocopy his W2 and mail it to all the girls who wouldn’t date him in high school, lol. My all-time favorite Dave memory is a long story. Since I painstakingly typed it into a thread that promptly died after my post, I’m daring to C&P it into this one. (I hope that’s not an online faux pas or something! And I hope the spacing isn’t all messed up.)
Well, I can’t believe I’m telling this story (which I oddly enough eluded to last night in chat), but here goes:
I spent most of High School and college having a major crush on David Letterman (much to the chagrin of my parents, obviously!)and while one night wondering what to get him for his birthday, he mentioned “frying up some hotdogs in a skillet.” Being shocked, appalled, and disgusted, I decided what this man needed was a tabletop grill. I chose, bought, lovingly wrapped and mailed it, and returned home a few days later with a notice from the post office to pick up a package. Imagine my horror when the clerk comes from the back room with the very same package with “REFUSED” scrawled on it in giant letters. Well, after I got home and had a nervous breakdown, I sat down at my typewriter and pounded out a furious missive ("A lot of time and effort went into that and you didn’t even open it! etc, etc.) and on the envelope printed “Personal correspondance, not for comedic purposes.” I didn’t expect anything to come of it but I felt better; well, damned if two days later the phone wakes me up at 8 in the morning and it’s some audibly shaken and flustered person calling from Dave’s office. Apparently Dave comes in and reads his mail first thing in the morning and the entire staff was treated to a tirade as the result of my letter. She apologised profusely and explained that at one point Dave was receiving so many unsolicited corporate gifts that they were all being refused but personal gifts were supposed to always be put through. She then went on to say that Dave would never refuse a gift from a fan and he was especially upset because I was from Indiana, (That sorta cracked me up,) and to make it up to me they’d like to give me free tickets to the show whenever I’d like and also send me some items for my trouble. This was back in the NBC days when there was like a 3 year waiting list to get tickets to the show! The next day I’m awakened AGAIN at the crack of dawn by a FedEx guy bearing a massive package from Laurie Diamond (Dave’s assistant! – I still have the FedEx slip in a frame, lol.) Now, when they told me they were sending me some “things” I assumed they meant maybe a bumpersticker or keychain or magnet or something, so you can imagine my shock to open the box and find a LateNight with David Letterman baseball cap, T-shirt, and what has to be the highest quality sweatshirt I’ve ever seen. I know what you’re saying…“could this amazing story get any better?” Get this! I re-wrapped the grill and mailed it back (overnight express) and the next night Dave does this lame skit where he calls up his house and checks his answering machine messages – there’s one from Phil Donahue asking if he can…BORROW THE GRILL!
The moral of this story is: Don’t ever say anything bad to me about David Letterman or I’ll come over personally and KICK YOUR ASS!
Oh yeah…Get well soon Dave! (I TOLD you to use the grill, though! Sheesh!)
P.S. If you’re wondering which show I saw, it was with Martin Short, Ritchie Sambora, and Art Buchwald. You can see my knees when he makes fun of some sailors in the row in front of me, haha!
The Huge Swinging Door Knob always cracked me up! Leno SUCKS, whoever mentioned his name above should hang their head and ask for forgiveness for even mentioning his name here. I got to see the show about 3 or 4 years ago. Soon after he moved to the Ed Sullivan Theatre. Craig T. Nelson was the guest. It was not one of the best shows, but it was cool being there.
A ditto on the Teri Garr shower thing. She was ready to strangle him by the end, but she took that shower! Quote, from the shower: “I hate you for this!”
The time Crispin Glover went psycho and was basically kicked off the show.
Andy Kaufman + Jerry Lawler. They don’t do TV like that anymore!
It was the Dr. Ruth interview. The subject turned to female masturbation, and Dr. Ruth said, “If ze voman vants to feel sometink inzide her vagina, zhe can use a cucumber…”
Dave walked off the set. I about died laughing.
What’s a nice Catholic girl like me doing remembering things like this?
The trouble with Sir Launcelot is by the time he comes riding up, you’ve already married King Arthur.
I was always a sucker for Stupid Pet Tricks. My LEAST favorite memory is easier to come up with than my best, though. It was the NBC special with the first televised bar mitzvah going on behind the translucent monologue wall. Hated it because the poor kid was me, 13 years old and zits in full bloom. My father was an absolute lunatic…
Who can forget his visits to Sarajul and Mujibar’s (sp?) cheesy tourist shop? Picking up the plastic statue of liberty and screaming, “10bucks for this piece of crap?! Are you serious?!”
Then he’d send audience members to the neighboring stores to pick up bagels, or knickknacks…
I started watching in about 1986. At 10 was Mack and Jamie’s comedy skit show, 10:30 was Black Sheep Squadron, 11:35 was Dave. I think it’s gotten tame since the move to CBS. He used to wear a suit jacket with jeans and Adidas, now it’s all Armani or something.
I always liked the bits where he smashed things, dropping them or running them over. Also liked when he called people in the offices across the street.
I remember when Kaufman came on with 3 young black men (18-20 years old I’d say) with the announcement that he had “adopted” them. These guys were most certainly not actors; I imagine that Kaufman probably just picked them up off the street prior to the show’s taping. Then he had one of them demonstrate his typing skills. Kaufman extolled the man’s typing as the poor guy furtively poked at the keys trying to type out a single sentence. I think later Kaufman had one of them sit in his lap during the interview. Funny how everyone always talks about the Lawler incident but not this appearance, which was about 10 times more disturbing.