Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Days of Our Lives! It is pathetic how excited I get about that. I’m a second-generation DOOL watcher, so I have been watching it as long (longer!) than some of the characters on the show have been alive (often with different actors, but still).
There’s also a telenovela on the local Spanish language channel which we love in our house – we can’t understand any of the actual dialogue parts, but it’s pretty easy to follow the stories, and there’s a guy with a chihuahua who shows up periodically for exposition. He is seriously THE BEST.
I also love Miracle Pets, which is now on Animal Planet, but was even better/worse (depending on your point of view) when it was only on PAX. Talk about glurge! But the pets are so cute. And unlike many of the other animal shows, they never have sad pet stories, because the whole point is that they are MIRACLES.
“And on today’s show, we have women who love dogs dressed like women…”
Gotta love it!
I caught an episode of Rock of Love last night – if I could bottle that and sell it I’d be a millionaire! These utterly fungible girls panting after a has-been rocker twice their age, with the VIP-pass ceremony (“Will you stay and rock my world?”) – it’s fan-tastic! “I just wanna figure out if one of these girls and me could really love each other?” Hey, balding guy trying to cover it up with a bandana – I can answer that for you – NO.
Yes, I’m in love. I don’t think I’ve been this passionate about a show since the first season of Surreal Life.
My Super Sweet 16. I don’t catch it every time it’s on, but I can’t help myself. Hey guys, I had a job two years before my 16th birthday, and if I remember correctly, I went and drove myself to play DDR that night. Without Kanye West.
And I don’t think it runs anymore, but my roommate used to be really into Pimp My Ride. Which meant that I watched it. Which meant that I got into it too. I’m almost offended by having an aquarium in a car, but it’s SO DAMN FLASHY and cute. You can keep your 24" rims, though, whether they spin or float.
Girls Next Door, Footballers Wives, and The Mrs. America Pagent.
Girls Next Door because I know Kendra’s father and stepmother, Footballers Wives because I can’t believe they’re speaking English and it keeps me on my toes, and The Mrs. American Pagent for the pure, unadulterated cheese factor (plus, some of the women are really hot and play into my MILF perversion).
When I turn on the TV for “60 Minutes” on Sunday night, and it’s in reruns. . .the first place I head is AFV.
On this week’s episode, a guy was playing with his dog and there was a shovel on the floor. Right as the guy straddled the shovel handle, his dog stepped on the shovel head, and the handle popped up and hit him right in the balls.
He immediately grabbed his nuts and went to the ground.
If you don’t find that funny, I don’t even want to know you. I swear, if a TV network ran the show “Ouch, My Balls!” from Idiocracy, I’d watch it.
OMG, I forgot about that show. A very small and obviously retarded part of me manages to feel bad for the parents at the beginning of nearly every episode. And then I remember that it’s all their own fault that their kids are self-entitled assholes who treat everyone around them like shit all while expecting more, more, MORE!!! By the end of the show, I’m rolling my eyes so hard they hurt and wishing like hell I could punch every single person on my TV.
Love that show.
Another vote for “Footballers’ Wives” although I pretty much missed the entire last season on BBC America. Didn’t much care for the spin-off though. I also liked “Mile High,” another BBC-A recycled soaper that followed the lives of a crew of trolley dollies.
“Melrose Place” from years gone by. Delightfully trashy for the bulk of its run, completely absurd storylines from start to finish and the wonder that is Marcia Cross playing a complete lunatic. Her wig-removal scene is still one of the greatest moments on television ever.
“The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency” - although it was better when it was only a 30 minute show. Hot models stripping down on a regular basis (boys and girls, something for every taste) stitched together by scenes of Janice Dickinson’s patented brand of crazy.
“Yo Mamma” - Wilmer Valderama wanders the neighborhoods of major cities looking for trash talkers to pit against each other in a round of dozens.
Some of the stuff on this list though. Anything with “…of Love” in the title, ugh. And I tried watching that Sweet 16 show a couple of times and the people on it are so loathesome that I can’t derive any enjoyment out of it.
“Ghost Hunters”. Something about watching grown men running around in the dark creeping themselves out entertains me. Plus it has its soap-opera-ish moments, when team members argue or give birth or whatever. The occasional spooky bits are a bonus.
Okay, now I’m going to have to check this out too, KneadToKnow’s points aside. Thank goodness for DVR.
Okay first of all, Reno 911 is not trash. Its awesome.
For me, this thread starts and ends with ELIMIDATE!!! Add an intense competition between some freaks and its television GOLD! Three girls after one guy is a lot better than the three guys after one girl. The girls will be ruthlessly mean to one another. The men are usually pretty considerate or apathetic towards one another and pay attention to the woman mostly. THe girls will forget the guy is even there.
There is always one girl out of the three that tries to play the “im classy I dont kiss on the first date or talk about the 75 guys who boned me sideways on tv” This girl is always out first WITHOUT FAIL. Its so stupid to even try that route. The rules of elimidate are simple and rigid. Put out or get out.
Other favs: Intervention (“wow my life is starting to look SO much less depressing”), Pants Off Dance Off, and Cheaters
I think they used that idea in a movie–“Man Getting Hit By Football,” or something like that. Starred some nobody, but it sure was a good premise, because George C. Scott did the remake. 
Me, I’ll admit to liking Judge Judy. No, there is none of the chair-throwing that takes place on Jerry Springer, but for the most part, it’s the same kind of people, only with legal, not relationship, problems: “Sure I Owe You Rent Money But You’re Scum So I Don’t Have To Pay You,” and “Whaddaya Mean, ‘Loan’? It Was A Gift” would be Springer-esque titles of Judge Judy episodes. The tangents these people go off on, the excuses they use, and the things that they think can support their claim are priceless. “Your Honor, I have a witness–my cousin’s wife’s sister, who was talking with a guy who knows a mechanic who works with the mechanic who did the estimate, which I couldn’t bring.”
Of course, Judy is in the midst of it all, screeching and berating, but ultimately getting to the bottom of things. It’s trashy, but I like it.
It depends on your definition of trash I suppose…
Reality TV (lets be realistic, it’s all trash):
Amazing Race
Last Comic Standing
lower end Prime Time crap:
Jericho
24
One Tree Hill
Smallville (I guess it’s trash, but it really depends on the episode)
'til death
That’s pretty much it I suppose.
My Name is Earl, and Ivylad likes Cops.
Oh man, I forgot all about the dating and court show genres.
Although I’ve fallen out of the habit, I used to watch “Blind Date” all the time. Roger Lodge was usually pretty amusing (which is why his awful performance on the new game show “Camouflage” saddens me so) and some of the snarky stuff that got added in post was pretty hilarious. I used to watch one called “Fifth Wheel” sometimes too. Two guys, two girls and then halfway through a fifth whore was added to the mix. Usually another female but every so often a man-whore.
I can’t stand most of the court shows but every so often if I’m flipping past “Judge Alex” I’ll stop because he’s so hawt.
Wildest Police Chases
Cops
and the classic
Xena
It’s not gossipy trash, it’s mocking gossipy trash.
That’s why my wife and I love it as well.
The Girls Next Door. A good friend of mine got the DVDs (no bleeps! boobies galore!), and we’re going to throw a party/drinking game with our other female friends.
Despite the fact that we’re all feminists, and damn proud of it, we love those girls.
Las Vegas (especially in HD). It’s so shiny & pretty, and lots of girls with big racks.
And occasionally a funny line or two.