When I was a young teenager, my Dad asked me to promise him that I would have my first beer with him. I knew it was kind of intended to control when I would start drinking, but I adored my Dad to the point of idolizing him, and I understood, in a diffuse, hazy way, that this would also be a rite of passage of sorts, a thing that men share among themselves.
I was barely 16. We we returning from our annual Christmas vacation in Florida, and had been stranded at the Fort-Lauderdale airport all day, due to a complete clusterf$%k on the part of Delta airlines. It had been a long, tiring, frustrating day of delays, line-ups, waiting, gate changes, etc. Late in the evening, we went looking for dinner. The only thing open (this was before food courts) was the airport bar. Before going in, my dad said to me: “Today, if anyone asks, you’re 18”. At the time, I thought it was just so we could be seated, since minors were not admitted. When the waitress came to take our drink order, he ordered a miller for himself, and a miller lite for me. I looked at him with surprise, but knew better than to say anything. He nodded slightly, as if to say: “yeah, you heard me…”
Dad had said he approved of the way I handled the frustrations that day. When we toasted each other, it felt like, like I had passed a test, like I was admitted to a select group of important people. It tasted terrible. It tasted wonderful. It was like receiving communion at the altar of adult manliness. I was glad I had resisted the temptations the few times I had thought of going behind his back. My heart was bursting with emotion I was trying not to show. I was so proud, and grateful. I loved my Dad then more than I think I had ever loved him before. But I also had a feeling that I would now be called upon to make decisions with a far heavier cast, and to answer to a different, more demanding, set of expectations and responsibilities for my behaviour. I hoped I was up to it.
It turned out to be our last vacation together as a family. My Dad had a series of debilitating strokes shortly before we were scheduled to leave on the next one. Although he would live for another nine years, those strokes took away most of his personality and memories, and with them, his wisdom, and his character. To this day, the memory of my first beer with my Dad is one of ones I treasure most about him