When my daughter was about 18 months or so, I had her outside on a nice spring day. A cluster of little girls in the neighborhood came over to see the baby, and sat with me. Then these little punks came by (too close) on their bikes, and shot a water gun straight into the face of the one little girl with glasses, then rode away. Right in front of me.
I helped her dry off, and then asked the other girls if they knew where these punks lived. They did, and I went and had a few words with their parental figure.
After I did, I realized that, not only was I a grown-up, but I was a MOM.
I suppose it goes without saying that I used to be the picked-on little girl with glasses.
I’ve had a few before, but one that really struck me as “Yeah, I’m a parent now” was when my daughter was around 2 or so and had a big booger sticking out of her nose. She wouldn’t stop moving and would let me get it so I finally said to her “Hold still and let me pick your nose!” Never before in my life have I uttered that phrase.
My mom died this weekend and I was the one who had to step up and get things organized. It is just one of those ‘I’m an adult because no one else is stepping up to the plate’ moments that totally suck.
Moment #1: I bought some reading glasses and was excited at how CLEAR the text became!
Moment #2: I realized that the only thing that bothers me about my hair loss is when my bald spot gets sunburned. I wish it’d all fall out so I can get an even tan up there, but I’m too lazy to shave my head every week.
When I went out and adopted a cat. I did a lot of research on what the best shelter in my area was and did some deep thinking on whether I really had a lifestyle that would allow me to be responsible for another life.
When I sat at a restaurant and ate dinner by myself.
Answering the phone, just a few months after my 20th birthday, to be told my father had died in the long-term care facility he was in. I was the family member designated to take care of things after his head injury that June. Caring for his house, finances and care was tough enough, but having that weight, and all that followed, fall on me (just days before Christmas, too, and with a young family) was one of those Am I strong enough? Yes, I have to be moments.
When I realized that as long as I didn’t violate the laws of physics, the State of Illinois, or the U.S. government, I could do anything I wanted and deal with the consequences as I saw fit. If I wanted to stay out late, I could; I might have to deal with being tired at work the next day, but no one could punish me because I violated their rule about staying up late on a school/work night.
When I realized that I had no obligation to continue punishing myself on my parents’ behalf. That is, they may have decided that because I did X, I would never again be allowed to do Y, but I was perfectly free to go and do Y (not to mention Z, Q, R and the dreaded A1), and there was not a thing they could do about it.
More recently, when my Mom started seeking - and respecting - my opinion on how to deal with my Dad’s increasingly strange behavior.
I actually became an adult rather abruptly when I chose to legally emancipate at the age of 17. It was literally overnight that I went from being a dependent to being at the state office applying for Medicaid. I used to think that was when I became an adult, but I wasn’t an adult really, just a kid going through the motions. It was a long time before I really grew up.
My ‘‘aha’’ moments wrt adulthood are usually pretty mundane - being called ‘‘ma’am,’’ buying my first new car, filling out insurance forms. I’ve had moments while having drinks with friends where I realize we’re ‘‘hanging out’’ …talking about appliances or retirement or something, and enjoying the conversation. Whoa.
When I came home, back in college, from spending the night at the home of Girlfriend #1 to find that, the previous evening, Girlfriend #2 and her mom had been arrested and my parents went down to the jailhouse to bail her out and brought her back with them, rather than her having to spend the night alone (her mom was still in jail).