Your Message To 50,000 Years From Now

[Half_Man_Half_Wit]

There will likely have been some previous threads on the subject, but search flaked out on me, so apologies if this is a repeat.

Anyway, some of you probably will be aware of a project to shoot a time capsule into an orbit that is projected to return to earth 50,000 years from now, called KEO. The satellite is proposed to have enough storage for a four-page message from every current inhabitant of the Earth, and is also supposed to

@wiki

carry a diamond that encases a drop of human blood chosen at random and samples of air, sea water and earth. The DNA of the human genome will be engraved on one of the faces. The satellite will also carry an astronomical clock that shows the current rotation rates of several pulsars; photographs of people of all cultures; and “the contemporary Library of Alexandria”, an encyclopaedic compendium of current human knowledge.

Personally, I think this is a brilliant project; however, as with all things I think brilliant, it’s questionable if it’s ever gonna happen. No matter, though – for the purpose of this thread, let’s assume it’s gonna lift off eventually (I mean, with a projected runtime of 500 centuries, it’s not like we need to quibble about a few years more or less) – what would you want to tell your great-great-great-…-great-grandchildren (or who/whatever else is gonna read it)?

[Snarky_Kong]

A grasshopper walker into a bar and the bartender said “hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper said “You have a drink named Steve?”

[Procrustus]

I bet some prankster in 20,000 years goes up and gets it.

[Bootis]

Well, If everyone writes the future a letter, don’t be surprised if this one makes it in there:

Mr Onya Hojiris
Sierra Leonne National PLC
Bromley Rd BranchFreetown, S.L.
BRE1 6YN

Dear Friend,
I am Mr.Onya Hojiris, Accounts Manager, of SL National PLC
Freetown Branch. I have an important business proposition for you.

On December 12th, 52004, a German contractor with the British Pertroleum co-orporation, United Kingdom ,Mr. Roland Petzke made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at $97,350,000,000,000.47 (Ninety Seven Trillion, Three Hundred Hundred and fifty Billion Dollars and 47 cents only) in my branch.
Upon maturity,I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the British Pertroleum co-orporation that Mr.Roland Petzke died from a warp core plasma breech accident. further investigation,
I found out that he died without making a WILL,and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr.Roland Petzke did not declare any kin or relations in
all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$ $97,350,000,000,000.47 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to inheritance Laws of Sierra Leone, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Local Government Authorities here in Freetown, S.L. if nobody applies to claim the fund.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Roland Petzke
so that the fruits of this old man’s labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials.This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 35% for you and 5% for Expenses Incurred in the course of the transaction .

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and with my position as the Manager with my bank will guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately to my private email
box : OnyaHojiris@xasamail.com

Awaiting your urgent reply.

Thanks and regards.
Onya Hojiris

[Sunspace]

Sorry about using up all the oil and not building a decent cruthrogulation system with it.

[Happy_Poster]

I thought this would never work. Guess I was wrong.

[Argent_Towers]

girls fukc on farm

[Beware_of_Doug]

If you can read and understand this, how the everloving fuck has intelligent life on this planet lasted this long?

[Trepa_Mayfield]

"We’re no strangers to lo-oo-ove…

[DMark]

Seriously, you mean the Cubs still haven’t won The World Series?

[Kent_Clark]

I, for one, welcome our cockroach overloads.

[AdmiralCrunch]

On behalf of the people of the 21st century, I’d like to offer my condolences to the families of those who were struck by this satellite as it came crashing down onto your densely-populated planet. I hope you at least got some free tacos out of it.

[Spoons]

They always said there would be flying cars in the future. Do you have them yet?

[kurilla]

I can only offer words not my own…

“We apologize for the inconvenience.” (from the late, lamented Douglas Adams)

[Jettboy]

@Half_Man_Half_Wit

…what would you want to tell your great-great-great-…-great-grandchildren (or who/whatever else is gonna read it)?

Careful of the Morlocks.

[NurseCarmen]

Hop in the time machine a visit me sometime (but please, levae the anal probe at home)

[panache45]

@Snarky_Kong

A grasshopper walker into a bar and the bartender said “hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper said “You have a drink named Steve?”

Bob.

If you’re gonna steal my joke, at least get the name right.

[Snarky_Kong]

@panache45

Bob.

If you’re gonna steal my joke, at least get the name right.

I bet that joke predates you and I can guarantee I heard it before I heard of this board.

[Leaffan]

It doesn’t matter, they won’t be able to read or understand it. 50,000 years is a seriously long time. It would be like a caveman trying to communicate with us.

[Argent_Towers]

There are some messages that are timeless. girls fukc on farm is one of them. If English is not the best way of getting this across, a pictograph would work just fine. Either way, it must be transmitted - or the planet will be doomed.