FUNNY for whom? I realize the dad was expecting something, but I’d be surprised if he found it as knee-slappingly hilarious as his sons. I can laugh at myself and don’t mind being the butt of some jokes provided it doesn’t cross a line. I guess I just don’t find humor at the expense of someone else’s misfortune very humorous.
I think they’d eat that up in parts of Pennsylvania, oh my yes. I could swear I’ve seen or heard of a “scrapple hoagie wit Wiz”, and one could argue that using “whole Vienna sausages” and pizza dough would be something of an upgrade.
You do understand that practical jokes are never as funny for the victim as they are for the prankster, right? That’s why the victim typically reciprocates. The father in the confetti story probably had to spend an hour with a dustbuster. Big deal. That isn’t crossing a line.
Not mine, but one I stumbled across as it was being perpetrated (and I probably would have fallen for it if I hadn’t).
I work for a large telecom company (the one with the ampersand in its name) and in my department everybody has a computer in their cubicle. The mastermind printed up flyers that said “Your keyboard cleaning is scheduled for ___ (time) on ____ (date) in the (name of conference room). Please disconnect your keyboard from your computer and bring it at the assigned time.” Of course all the dates were filled in as 4/1, and all the appointments were shortly after 8 when most people came in.
Minion #1 booked the conference room via the online system (so no actual meetings would be in session) a couple days before.
Minion #2 came in early and distributed the flyers to desks in the quadrant of the building where we sat (I am an early arriver and saw this occurring).
Mastermind went to the conference room, placed a roll of paper towels and bottle of cleaning solution on the table, and wrote “Back in 5 min. –Carl” on the whiteboard.
Then the fun began. People dutifully unplugged their keyboards, traipsed up the stairs to the conference room, and waited. And waited. Some people waited for 30 minutes before giving up, some angrily. Minion #1 was supposed to get in early and remove the booking from the reservation system, but she was delayed. One of the more upset (and inquisitive) prankees decided to check the online system to see who had booked the room, and confronted minion #1. She played dumb and acted like she’d had a meeting scheduled but it had been cancelled but she had forgotten to remove the booking; I don’t think the prankee believed her but had no proof.
A couple days later I told a friend in the building about it (he sat near the conference room); he said he’d seen people going by with their keyboards all morning and wondered what the hell was going on. We both agreed it was one of the better pranks we’d witnessed.
I found this droll:
take 5 caramel apples and 1 caramel onion to work.
Might not hurt to prearrange with some co-conspirators to make sure the ‘right’ apple winds up in the hands of the right co-worker.
This was not on April 1st but was a prank of opportunity, so I think it counts.
Many years ago my former wife was caught up in the ‘wow my kid is just the best / brightest / biggest’ whatever you could name at the time, the competition that young parents seem so quick to get involved in.
Admittedly our daughter was big for her age, quick to walk, athletic, ate like a horse. She certainly had some traits worthy of pride and praise, however the excess of my wife’s exhuberance annoyed me, to say the least.
At an early age my daughter was well into potty training. In our only bathroom was her training potty.
One afternoon, as my now ex-wife was busy in the back yard, I went to relieve myself, and realized I had an opportunity for mischief. Given a few minutes I delivered a monsterous deposit that even to this day I have pride in, I think the result of a chili dinner the night before, in said training potty.
Deed done, I snuck back out to the yard to continue my chores. A few minutes later when my wife went into the house I heard exclaimations and exhaltations; look at what our daughter did! Come see this! What a wonder our daughter is!
I have NEVER told her the truth of this event. It brings me pride to this day.
My best April Fools Joke.
Some college friends had some background obscure jazz music as background on their telephone answering machine recording. A few months before April Fool’s, I had asked them what the music was so I could buy the CD.
On Aprils Fools, a lawyer friend informed them of legal ramifications if they didn’t cease and desist use of the background music immediately.
Better would be to field the call from the school board telling you that school WAS canceled, but not tell the kids, pretend it’s just a normal weekday morning, and let them stand waiting for a nonexistent bus for 30 minutes. Bonus points if their neighborhood friends pass by, sleds in hand, and snigger under their breath at them.
My boss was pretty gullible.
I called in on April fools and said I was attacked by a squirell in my kitchen while I was making toast I said it leaped up and bit me on the neck and my neck hand swollen to the size of a football. Then told him I was feeling pretty angry and was worried I had rabies and said I had to go to the hospital and hung up on him.
People at work knew I was going to do this, he went around the office telling everyone what had happened. They could barely keep a straight face and apparently some people were buckled over in their cubicles in tears.
I showed up to work on time, he did a double take when he saw me.
April Fools.
This is hysterical!
UPON MY LAST REVIEW, this is now the **longest **thing I’ve ever posted. IT IS VERY LONG. But may as well, eh? I don’t mind it, but please skip it if you don’t want a tome to read.
This is the (second) lawyer story. I have several more, to include the Berlin trip and the “Scene” at Paris Customs, but I’ve already wasted time on this, so I may as well finish the job.
**#1 = SHORT **This is not a hijack: My best story is my wheelchair tale, but that’s not an AFD joke. I digress
One year, I got all my rent money for that month on AFD ahead of time from the ATM. I took the cash and put it into my kitchen sink, sprayed a ketchup splatter pattern on the stack and let it dry for a few days on a plate. The remaining stain got crusty and I was able to flick it off with a butter knife. The resultant stain seemed to look like the money was involved in a bloody drug deal or something like that. I then mailed the cash to my landlord to pay for my rent. Including a very brief note explaining the purpose, but not the cause.
She never mentioned it. But her daughter had many questions. A good larf was had by me alone.
#2 = Here we go. Sit down. Get a drink. This was also the several months after I got out of the Real Estate business, because the market had tanked. As a brokerage firm, we had relationships with several title attorneys and different law firms. There was one lawyer (let’s call him ‘Jim’) that would often stop by my office door to chat prior to and after conducting business in our office (I would let him know the temperament of the clients, if I knew there were any problems re: a specific case, give him the pulse of the situation, all that jazz). Post business, we would talk football and what not. We even had drinks one time. Just taking guy stuff about the pretty sales staff during happy hour. (Sexist, I know, but he’s not a regular jerky lawyer-type; he’s actually cool. Just setting the stage.) Shortly, due to business practices, the national major corporation made business agreements with several of our business we dealt with (including his office), and soon a large multi-company corporation was formed.
I get laid off from the brokerage, due to this new corporation downsizing. (I didn’t understand it at the time, but it’s all about office proximity being too close. So they close a few offices. Mine was one of them.) After a few months, I decide to look him up and he remembers me fondly. He understands my situation. His firm is laterally attached to our corporate structure, so we basically have (have had?) the same bosses up on high at the national level. We have a bit of a conversation and agree that he might have a position for him in his office. I should come in for an interview.
So I arrive at the pre-agreed to upon place and time. About 10 minutes early, but I enjoyed sitting in the air-conditioned office during the wait. It gets hot in April around here. And I waited. They asked me to wait even more. Total wait time so far: Approx 1 hour. The receptionist is polite, but there is obviously something going on in the office. People are jumping around like frogs in a lake full of dynamite.
I realize it’s a job interview, but I’m starting to get ticked. Really. So, ahead of time, in preparation for this, I have brought with me a thin little wallet with prior business contacts’ business cards that I keep. Inappropriate? Maybe. Handy? Definitely. Call it my “mini-network network” in case I need to make a call on the road and have no computer access and have to drop a bigwig’s name. I pull out the wallet and get “Bill’s business card (not his real name) from the big national head office (we met at a national meeting one time and I kept the card he gave me) and put it into my shirt pocket. I am forming a joke in my head, totally on the fly. This is going to be my silver bullet. I decide to give them another half hour so I can think out the details to make this work. Sure enough, whatever was going on in the office has settled down soon enough before my personal half hour deadline. I know this because clients are amiably exiting the office, shaking hands and now all seems to be well.
Now I’m on. It is my turn. I try to internally build just a little bit of steam and describe my situation regarding my prior appointment and current delays to the receptionist, but she’s basically out the door to get a smoke, now that the “situation” is over. I’d like to speak to “Jim. Now, please. My appointment is quite late.”
She hands me off to her temporary replacement office buddy, who has not a clue how long I’ve been here. She basically blows me off because she knows (more than I do) that “Jim” has just dealt with the situation and he’s debriefing or getting coffee or having a slash or whatever. So she tries to pawn me off because since she doesn’t know how long I’ve been here, I can easily wait a few more minutes, right?
In the presence of approximately six other people waiting the lobby, I say, as politely as I can, with just a little bit of clenched lips, “My appointment with “Jim” was for 1:00 PM. It is now almost 3:00. My name is (Bill from old business card) and I represent the national office of (our major corp name).
Here’s one of my kickers: I flash/show her “my” business” card, a la magician, but I can’t actually verify she ever reads it. She’s just going on what I’m saying. I now say “I’m here to close your office down. You’re out of business. I’m sure you’re aware that we’ve been closing offices all this summer. I need to speak to Jim as soon as possible.” Just barely loud enough to be heard by the rest of the room.
Effective.
She starts to stammer a bit. I simply repeated, “May I speak to Jim?” She practically jumps out of her chair and exits behind some door. It takes her a full two minutes (at least) before she comes back. During her absence, I am totally giggling with myself, inside my head. I am relying on the last conversation and my previous relationship with “Jim”, and I know since it is April Fool’s Day, he would understand this. I fully realize that it’s a big jerk move, but once he remembers that he’s late for our appointment, won’t it be a great joke?
What a stupid thing to do, eh?
I’m still laughing my butt off. Jim is nowhere in sight yet. I am actually staring around the room to the others who are waiting to make sure they heard what I said and that I know how to take care of business. Let’s call it our DeNiro Stare, okay?
Receptionist #2 returns. She tells me Jim will be here in just a moment. She nervously returns to her computer and makes herself quite busy.
Here’s Punchline number one: Get ready.
“Jim” comes out about one minute later. He introduces himself, apologizes for the delay but he starts basically kissing my butt. He explains that there was a “professional matter” that had to be resolved, but he wanted to reassure me that it could not be avoided and all the clients involved were content with the negotiation. The implication is that we’re very good at conducting business. Business for the Company. Right.
He apologizes once again, and then leads me into the conference room for our appointment.
When we enter, we open the doors and whom do we see but his 6-member staff of the high-tier lawyers??? The entire high-muckety-muck of the legal staff is seated. Behind the main conference table, at a smaller table in the rear that seems to have been hurried into the room, are two sweating paralegals, which have been invited to basically just take notes and get all the details of the office closure from the back of the room. I can hear through the doors that the “regular back office staff” has reduced their activity, for whatever reason. But it is quieter back there than it was when I was sitting in the waiting room. Everybody is obviously on pins and needles, and I suspect that the remaining business transactions are delayed for this afternoon due to my appearance. Remember, I’m from the BIG BAD NATIONAL OFFICE, right?
They invite me to sit at the head of the table to brief them. That’s when everything breaks down. I admit my situation because I cannot continue this charade any longer, because my internal voice is screaming “DUDE, YOU IN TROUBLE NOW!!!” I give up the entire story. (I am unemployed. “Jim” and I had worked in real estate previously, we had spoken earlier and he agreed to offer me a job, I gave receptionist a fake name and basically lied to get in the door. But “Jim” had given me a job offer, and I had to explore the opportunity. I simply used the mechanics of the April Fool’s Day event as a chance to get my foot in the door. (Ha-Ha…ahem.) I wasn’t from the big national office, but simply somebody applying for a little itty-bitty data entry position in a title office.) (…2…3…4…) “I am sorry that I had to deceive you, but I thank you for your attention.”
I cleared my throat again, and then I opened my folder with several copies of my resume (but not enough for everybody) and ask “Jim” if I could continue. …
Jim just stared at me for a bit. He cocks his head like your cat does when you do something stupid. He considers me for a few seconds. He slightly shook his head. He then turned to his staff.
And then he said, “I think we should hear this man out. What do you think?”
After a general loosening of sphincters and not-quite-quiet exhalations, Jim gets his team approval and says to me. “So, you
have our attention. Please continue.” He sits back in his chair.
Man, I tell you, I’ve been under the virtual spotlight before, more than once, but after pulling off the first part of this story, I’d never tap danced so hard in my life. I tried to do it calmly, and be cool about the whole thing, after what I had just done, but sheesh, I was under the microscope. I’d like to think that I can talk my way through any situation, but this was the deepest water I’ve ever jumped into without the cops getting involved. And I’ve got more of those stories than I want.
After they had asked the usual questions, including the pseudo IT/paralegal guy who tried to catch me on my computer skills listed on my resume (got all his questions right!), they ended up offering me the job right then and there after all was said and done. The whole interview took about 90 minutes, and I made sure I knew every one of their names before I left the office, because they told me to come back bright and early on Monday. We all shake hands and I leave at the end of the afternoon. It is almost 5:00. They close at five, but I’d rather exit the building before the entire staff goes home for the day. Thank you very much.
…wait for it…
::sound of my own sphincter releasing::
I exit the building back into the blistering heat and heavy traffic that doesn’t exactly help my ability to walk a straight line outside. I have to collect myself, but I don’t stop moving and try not to sway. I get about two blocks away from their office, heading back to the Metro station to go home.
Are you ready for PunchLine #2? Get ready.
Back up within the story above to the point where I had lied to the receptionist about me being from the Big Bad National Office and gave her a fake name. She goes back to Jim’s office and drops the bomb to him that I’m closing the office and things start going nuts. Again, it would seem. For these guys, that was today. I don’t know whether or not she actually caught me quoting the name of “ABC Company” or not, but she totally bought the story. I do not know whether or not she translated the correct name of which company was here, but I was on a roll. Right?
(The following is hearsay): It seems that Jim starts freaking out a bit about this, especially after dealing with whatever he’s just dealt with. As calmly as he can, he briefs his staff and starts to assemble them. IMMEDIATELY. There’s more to it than that, but basically they’re in Red Alert.
(This is what I see) : When “Jim” finally comes out to greet me, I have to hold my cool. It seems that I have confused “Jim” with “Bob”. I’ve only met Jim once, and never had drinks or friendly conversations with him. I was speaking to the wrong lawyer. Bob doesn’t even work here. He’s at a different firm. Hell, he’s at a totally different company. “Jim” works at ABC law firm, and “Bob” works at 123 law firm. I have just created my own fake interview. But I have to walk through it at this point. I try not to freeze, but dude, was I just staring into something I just created?
When we sat down, I was fortunate enough that “Bob” and his legal staff simply assumed that I had previously spoken to Bob and that they just went with his decision about whether or not to combat the decision to for me, right? J
SO: I ended up getting the job, but it only lasted two years. Turns out we didn’t match personality wise, and while we both gave it a shot, it just didn’t work. At least he gave me a chance and we both gave it a shot.
But that’s one of my good ones. I’ve got more. And they’re all just as long.
So that’s the end of the story.
A group of us were on a ski trip the weekend of April 1. The morning of, I was cooking breakfast as the rest of us slowly streamed into the kitchen to get coffee. We noticed that one guy, Mike, was still asleep. We snuck into his room and changed the clock and his phone to be an hour and a half later, and Jason, who was sharing the room, got quietly dressed in full gear, then started making noise rustling around.
Mike woke up and noticed him, and the rest of us listened from the kitchen:
“Mike, shit, you’re still asleep? Everyone else is out at the cars ready to go! I’ll go tell them to wait a few minutes, but you’ve got to hurry.”
There were many frantic sounds from the bedroom.
Jason came back out into the living room… and was followed about 30 seconds later by a frantic Mike, hopping on one foot, bibs on over his pajamas, trying desperately to get a ski boot on while moving. He got to the middle of the room and stopped cold. Still standing on one foot.
:D:D
“Feeling pretty angry”! I love it. :D:D:D
We were staying at his house, so he had plenty of space to bury the bodies.
My dad loves a good prank. He took pictures and told EVERYONE. Then after the laughing was done he dug out the shop vac and told us to get to work on it.
He still has not had his revenge. I worry.
From the last April Fools thread - this works brilliantly in an open-plan office environment (or a quiet university library etc).
There’s a fantastic website for a tweeny magazine called “I Love Horses” - I promise this is Safe For Work:
www.deagostini.com.au/ilovehorses
When you load the site a midi file plays instantly and automatically with a truly cringe-inducing song: “I love horses… best of all the animals! I love horses… horses are my friends!”
Prank as follows:
To achieve this you’ll need access to your victim’s PC… this can be easier said than done, but in our office leaving your PC unlocked is pretty much an opening invitation for japery.
- Open up the default web browser
- Change home page to: www.deagostini.com.au/ilovehorses/
- Set PC volume to max
- Close browser
Then just wait for the victim to load up IE or Firefox etc - our office now routinely has this song blaring out as yet another victim gets caught.