As I’ve noted in previous posts, I’m in marketing and public relations. Most of my post-college jobs have been in the tech arena.
The WORST gig was a chain of adult boutiques in my city wanted to open an online store. They needed someone to write the catalog copy for each product. The job paid reasonably well; I got free video rentals and a 50% discount on any and all merchandise.
Sheer heaven, I thought at the time.
Unfortunately, there are approximately 140 different suppliers or adult novelty items. I prided myself on writing UNIQUE copy for each item that crossed my desk. However, by the time you’ve cranked out your 132nd write up for a pink, 6"x1.25" multi-speed, real-feel, jelly coated vibrator that requires 2AAA batteries (not included) for $19.95, you have NOTHING left to say.
The butt-plugs were another product line I had trouble with. Not because I had any problem with what they were used for, but again, just the sheer number of them. By the time I got around to the Doc Johnson 4"x1" translucent pink with comfort taper, my copy was: “Shove it up your ass. I quit.” That was certainly the most unusual resignation letter I’ve ever done, particularly since it got posted to the site for a day and a half. “Copy editing? I don’t think so.”
Lastly, a lot of the “fetish” items were kinda difficult to write. I’ve always been a pretty experimental guy, and as many of my old girlfriends will attest, pretty damn open minded and creative. I’ll tell you, though, when you see a metal ring with a semi-sharp wire on one side and tree-top spikes on the other, you have a hard time making it sound like a good idea, especially after you figure out what it’s used for.
After that I went to work for a company that made business telephone systems. It was kind of boring, but at least I stopped dreaming about dancing dildos.