I’ve had very few actual dates, so I’ll have to go with a non-date – that is, I wasn’t on a date, but she was.
It was with this girl I knew through some mutual friends. I met her at a party one night and, being drunk, hit on her mercilessly. She was a perfectly nice girl, but I wasn’t attracted to her, and I didn’t find her especially interesting, either.
She was pretty obviously interested in me, however. She invited me along to several group outings, but I always made excuses. I couldn’t keep it up forever, though (we were ostensibly friends), so I finally bit the bullet and agreed to go with her to see “Death to Smoochy” (a pretty lame movie, btw).
My purpose on the date was to get the message across that I wasn’t interested, without having actually to say it. I was careful to avoid physical contact. When we got to the ticket counter, I slowed down to let her buy her own ticket (though walking up first and declaring, “one please” might have been better). Etc. The problem was that, with the pressure off, I was funnier and more charming than I ever am around girls I actually want to date – and, besides, the first time we met I spent two solid hours flirting with her.
When we parted for our respective dorm rooms at the end of the night, she was at least half-expecting a kiss (instead she got a “well, goodnight”). Her Instant Messenger away message that night was along the lines of “Sleeping; maybe dreaming of someone to wake up next to ;)”
Ugh. I figured I had to nip this in the bud, so I sent her a message online (I’m a coward) saying that I like you and I’m attracted to you (and a liar), but I think we work a lot better as friends than anything more. (I had to lie to her, no? Otherwise it would read like, “You’re sweet, but man are you ever ugly.” No one needs to hear that.)
Her away messages the next few days featured lots of :(s and generally expressed dismay. Finally she asks to see me to talk. When we meet, she demands – repeatedly – to know why I don’t want to go out with her. That’s in my Top 5 most uncomfortable conversations ever (I stuck to my “just don’t like you that way” story).
We still catch up online once every couple months.