Me too! Heh–I thought it was just me.
A super-awesome compromise though, is to slice the tomato fairly thick, put it on an oiled baking pan, drizzle a tiny, tiny drop of olive oil (or some other kind) on top, a tiny sprinkle of salt and broil for 3-5 minutes on each side–it stays “fresh” tasting, but it fixes the texture completely. And it’s wonderful on a burger.
Homemade onion poppy seed bun, toasted lightly on the inside
1/3lb ground chuck patty, liberally sprinkled with garlic salt and Worcester sauce while frying Pittsburgh-style in an iron skillet.
A dollop each of ketchup and horseradish mayonnaise
3/16” slice of melted Boars Head American Cheese
¼” sagittal-plane sliced Bread & Butter pickle
3/8” slice of Vidalia onion
(When I feel vegetarian-y, I’ll switch out the beef for a portabella mushroom cap sautéed in butter and balsamic vinaigrette, replace the American cheese with baby Swiss, and lose the pickle, of course).
Bun
Tomato
Lettuce
Pickles
Swiss cheese, melted
Smashburger style patty (charcoal grilled is an acceptable substitute)
Swiss cheese, melted
Smashburger style patty
Mustard
Bun.
Sometimes I like to fancy it up, grilled onions, bleu cheese, maybe avacado or sauteed mushrooms, but usually I just want the standard diner-style burger toppings.
Last night I made a pretty good one. No bun (I don’t eat wheat) although you could certainly include one.
Patty, with Montreal steak seasoning, cooked med-rare but seared on the outside. Topped with French onion dip from Whole Foods, caramelized onions, and bacon.
I’ve been getting a good one from a local restaurant–don’t knock it 'til you try it. Bison burger, topped with bacon, cheddar cheese, minced jalapenos, an over-easy egg, and blackberry jam. Sounds disgusting but the combination is incredible.
Burger, cheese, bun, nothing else. Onions optional.
Toasted bun.
Patty, medium rare, not too thick.
Mayo and raw onion ONLY.
mmmmmmmm
The “Ramp” burger from Burger Master (RIP) in Great Falls MT.
Big soft white bun
Medium thick burger patty
slathered in a cream of mushroom soup and cheese sauce
Bun, burger (thick, rare to medium), cheese, ketchup, pickle.
Jimmy Buffet’s got it figured out.
Cheeseburger in paradise
Medium rare with mustard 'be nice
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
I’m just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God almighty which way do I steer for my
Cheeseburger in paradise
I may have to try that, tomato buddy.
Chuck cooked to medium
American cheese
Onion
Pickles
Cherry peppers
Lettuce
Spicy mustard
A little ketchup
Sesame seed bun.
From top to bottom:
Sesame seed bun
Cheese
More cheese
Burger patty
What the hell, another slice of cheese
Bottom bun
If I’m making my own patties, I use 80/20 ground chuck, seasoned with onion salt and black pepper, nothing more. Pat to make the spices adhere, let them rest to hold together well, then grill outside. Anything more than onion salt and black pepper is needless frippery: a burger should taste like a burger.
Ground Sirloin, about 1/3rd of a pound, seasoned with salt and black pepper; on the rare side of medium rare
Bakery style roll, something with a little crisp to the outside, lightly toasted
Cheddar cheese, two slices
A few strips of bacon, thin and crispy
Barbecue sauce, home-made if possible, but Sweet Baby Ray’s Sweet and Spicy will do in a pinch
The seasoned burger should be the dominant flavor, but everything else should complement it and round it into Burger Perfection.
Mine varies a bit, but this is the most elaborate version:
bottom bun, lightly grilled, with prepared horseradish (not horseradish sauce or mayo)
patty (well-seasoned)
cheese (generally cheddar or provolone)
grilled bacon
purple onion
tomato
basil leaves
top bun, lightly grilled, with ranch dressing
I much prefer to make the patties from scratch, so that I can get them properly seasoned with my favored blend of black pepper, red pepper, salt, garlic, and savory.
Start with a Fuddrucker one-pounder, no cheese. Add the jalapeno cheese over by the topping bar, a shot of mustard, then load it up with toppings and chow down!
That’s almost perfect. If the Fudd store happens to have chili available, perfection is attained.
Not compared to me, you’re not:
bun
burger
mustard (salt & pepper)
That’s it, no lettuce or ketchup or onions or tomato of any of that falderol, and *certainly *not mayo. Of course, I also like my burgers burnt to a crisp–so much so that you have to bring in the dental records to ID it–which drives people mad.
Not that I have had a burger in years . . . cursed diet . . .
Loosely formed patty, seasoned and grilled in pan until crust, flip, add thick slice of velveeta and cover pan to let cheese melt. Regular bun toasted, mayo on bottom ketchup on top. Add patty and a thick slice of white onion. Damn… I am making that sometime this weekend.
ps- sometimes making my own ground beef with skirt steak and season with Montreal.
To be clear, I don’t have a single “perfect” burger. I like different toppings at different times. But if I had to go with a consistent favorite, it would be a cheeseburger with raw onion and mustard.
Maybe not technically a burger as there’s no meat…
Bun
Stack on it from the barbecue -
Portobello mushroom
slab of red pepper
slab of eggplant
slice of zucchini
onion, thick cut slice from the across the middle
Add
Goat cheese
Tomato slice
Really doesn’t need much else, but ketchup, mustard and relish are ok to add.
Warren? Hamilton? Hard to choose.