Your unusual dog commands...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

All have my dogs have known, “Go right,” and “go left,” when we’re out walking.

The late, lamented Rottie mix Bitz the Wondermutt would shake hands with her left paw when I asked her, “Who loves you?” When I followed that up with, “Who do you love,” she’d lay her right paw on my leg.

Sydney the bulldog doesn’t really respond much to any command other than, “Sit,” and “Wanna cookie?” which sends her trotting to the kitchen to sit at the corner of the counter where their biscuit jar is.

Mala the Italian mastiff mix, however, is a different story. I did all her protection training commands in French, but not in their direct equivalent. As a result, apparently random French words are her triggers and out commands. It’s fun when my mother in law is down from Montreal and I’ll run Mala through her paces. Lady looks at me like I’m nuts.

I think one of my favorites, and I swear Mala did this, not me, and it just stuck. I’ll cock my finger at her and say, “Bang!” She’ll stop walking. I’ll do it again, she’ll sit. The third time, she’ll drop over. My guess is she’s thinking, “It’s going to take at least three shots to put me down, fool.”

All of my dogs have also learned, “Out,” and, “Piss off,” for go away from me now.

62

My Daschund knows get the squeaky(the toy)
lets go smoke(go outside,my wife smokes outside only)
snack(from the fridge
bone snack(from the desk drawer)
and his fave let go get a jumbo jack(exactly what it says)
the shepherd is still a pup and is not real sure what is what yet

63

I have no idea what this means, but I strongly suspect you would not appreciate the image it brings to mind. Images of a certain Doper’s predilection for the even-toed ungulates.

Pray tell, what is a"jumbo jack" and why would a dog want to get one with you?

64

Not unusual commands but if you ever have a retriever you must teach them to “drop it” or they will hang on to whatever they retrieved forever. This came in handy once when my golden retrieved a baby bird I was raising. Thank goodness she had a soft mouth.

I worked with someone a long time ago that had an Australian Shepherd, they must be next to Border Collies in intelligence. She had him trained to a lot of commands, one of which was to go grab a food bowl when it was time to eat. Impressive because these were stainless steel bowls stacked on a shelf but he always managed to come back with just one.

65

My mother’s dog, Buppy, would sit on command, but not unless you said please.

66

First of all, all the dog commands I taught I accompanied with hand signals. So I could get my dogs to sit, down, stay–at a distance. I really needed better differentiation between Sit and Down but other than that, they worked well, and who really cares if a dog is in a sit-stay or a down-stay, as long as she stays?

The other two are tricks:

Me: What does Sandy say?
Dog: Arf!

Me (pointing finger as if it’s a gun at dog): Bang!
Dog: falls over and sticks feet in the air.

67

“It’s only the pizza man” means for my Dalmatian not to bother “oof!”(ing) and running to see who it is when the doorbell rings. It doesn’t matter if I tell her an hour before, or a minute before - when that doorbell rings, she doesn’t move a muscle.

68

I want to know what the random French words are, and what Mala does when you say each one!

69

A Jumbo Jack is a hamburger from a fast food chain - Jack in the Box. Something *every *dog would love!

70

ALL TIME BEST PLAY DEAD EVER!!!

71

Our Sheltie Ben is mostly deaf now, but when he was younger he knew a few of his favorite toys by name, especially Stumpy the Sheep (who had been given a quadruple legectomy in Ben’s puppy years) and Mutant Cow (an unexplainable fleece toy with a cow head attached to a sort of asterisk of bones). If you said “Where’s Stumpy? Go get Stumpy!” he’d come back with nothing else.

All our animals have heard The Bunny Correctional Noise, and all seem to know instinctively that it means STOP NOW OR ELSE, even the cats. As it says on the tin, I first started using it to stop my rabbit, Bunny, when she was about to do something naughty, annoying, and possibly dangerous (IOW, often). It’s a very loud, short, explosive “EH!” bracketed with sharp glottal stops – I put all my years of vocal training into making it piercing and non-ignorable. The embarrassing part is that it’s a deeply ingrained habit to use it now, and I occasionally, without thinking, use it on other people’s children.

72

Intriguing! How far off from one of those portable air horns is that sound?

Some of the funniest YouTube clips are of kids waking a sleeping friend up with one of those.

73

Oh man, our two girls know quite a few.

Clean Up, Aisle Floor! means come running in to hoover up whatever has been dropped.

Glo’ey, Face. means that Glo’ey needs to get her face out of my personal space. For some reason she loves to get her muzzle about one nanometer from mine.

Wipe your feet self explanatory. This command can also be issued as: Nenna, no muckypaws.

**Smush. ** Give a raspberry followed by a kiss. Only Glo’ey can do this with her fat smushy muzzle. The first time she made that noise we about died laughing. It is an inconsistent thing though, and hard to get her to make the noise with regularity.

**Mopey dog. ** The canine addressed will lay down, place her head on paws, give a soppy look and a huge theatrical sigh.

No nennagators! used when Nenna snaps at a piece of offered food instead of taking it politely.

Bite used for feeding the dogs off of forks. they will take a polite bite just like feeding a small child.

74

Yeah, my girl too - she loves to lick my face. It was one of the few things I have not be able to train her to stop. She listens to almost every single thing I tell her to do, but she loves to lick. I have finally given up trying to break her of it. I figure there are plenty of worse things she could be doing.

I may teach her Clean Up on Aisle Four. :slight_smile:

75

Skootch My parent’s dog loves to ride in the car but he always wants to be in the front seat. Skootch is his command that a human wants that seat and he has to climb in the back.

76

Could you post that somewhere?

77

Not that loud! Heh. It’s pretty nasal, and in the normal range and tone of a human female. It makes pets (and kids) go “WTF was that?” not “OW MY BLEEDING EARDRUMS!!”

Wow. Well, I’ll think about how I might do that. What, you’re just curious what it sounds like? Or you want to try it yourself? 'Cause if the latter I could dig out some of my vocal technique books, quotes from which might be more helpful than a recording.

78

Oho, I just remembered, one of my sons decided to teach our dog French. So he did all the commands in French. He used the polite form. I told him, since it was a dog he was talking to, he should have used the familiar, which he had to look up. Fortunately it was mostly pretty close.

The dog learned them, even though this was not our smartest dog.

In front of our smartest dog, if we had spoken in French something to the effect that it was temps de prendre le chien pour une promenade, the second time we said it that dog would have gone for her leash.

79

We have a couple, but the most fun is usually the ‘Go see ______!’, and he’ll turn around and go find the other person.

We started it for one simple purpose - to provide quick exercise in the wintertime. I’d be at one end of the yard, my wife at the other. Each of us had a handful of treats. My wife would say ‘go see silk1976!’, I’d say ‘here!’ and the dog would run full speed and get a treat. Rinse and repeat in the opposite direction.

We use it as a courier mechanism sometimes, or just to make the dog run up to the other and lick their face (really good when the person is sleeping on the couch). However, its come in useful in situations where one person has their hands full, and the dog is in the way (like they always are). Being able to send them to someone else verbally, when the other person isn’t in the room to see whats going on, has been useful now and again.

80

Also curious about what that sound is. Perhaps a youtube post?