Two years into the ownership of a retired racing greyhound, we have learned that the following phrases lead to perhaps way too much excitement. Bruising, even.
“Listen. Daddy and I were thinking of getting into the car. Getting into the car and going for a ride. That would involve your leaving the house, climbing into the back seat with your blankie and going somewhere. Does that interest you? Does a ride in the car sound like something you’d like to do?”
“Hey, doggy. Nana has been asking what you’re up to. How about we go see Nana. You remember. The nice lady with the hot dogs and ice cream. Nana’s house? Nana’s house at the beach. Nana!”
“I suspect a squirrel is in the back yard. Pesky rodents. Do you have strong feelings about squirrels? Would you care to confirm whether Mummy has correctly identified whatever is lurking in the Japanese maple?”
We cannot say squirrel. There are usually a handful of grey/red/black/fox/etc squirrels around the feeder in the front yard. My gf and I use S.Q. to refer to squirrels.
Since the dogs come to work with me, we cannot say “work” or they get excited. So I’ll ask my gf, for instance, “how was your job today?”
Living with two Boxers has limited my vocabulary as well.
Unless there is a clear path to the back door we do not use the word “outside” Even “out” is risky, very very risky.
“What time is it?” is a question that could end your life if you happen to be between the dog and the kitchen. For the record the only correct answer to this question is Dinner time. On the other hand “It’s not time yet” gets you the sad eyes, mournful sighs and will break your heart. Unless you’re a tough heartless bitch like me
If you’re feeling particularly evil when your partner is arriving, “Who is at the door” is guaranteed to ensure them a bouncing welcome home.
“Sleep time” gets me one dog across my feet and the other stretched out along my back to ensure I’m never cold again. All in all I think I win.
Walk, ride, go, treat, cousin. Can’t even spell the first 3 in front of her!
I also can’t spritz my hair or put on shoes without her going nuts. Both of these things mean we’re leaving. You should see the sad face I get when I do one of these things and say “no you stay here.” It’s like I just told her that her grammy died.
We don’t dare say ‘squirrel’, if the dogs are within earshot. Bad mojo happens when you do. They go batshit insane.
We can no longer spell the words food, potty, or bye-bye, let alone say them. We’re no longer allowed to say ‘taco night’, either. They love tacos. If they hear those words, they expect to have a loaded taco plopped into each of their food bowls, and if you’re not fast enough, lots of slobbering/panting/whining/low growling ensues. It can get ugly if you wait too long. :dubious:
A girlfriend of mine had a Jack Russell terrier and if you’d ask him if he had seen any squirrels lately he’d trot to the window, put his paws up on the sill and say, “Ah-Huh.” Affirmative.
We couldn’t say “treat” “cheese” or “grape” around Maggie, the upstairs neighbor’s dog. And we definitely, definitely couldn’t say “daddy”
Damn, I miss that dog. She’s still alive - just 1600 miles away. She’d come down and visit us every night while her owner Chris was at work. She loved to hang out on the couch with me while I read or watched TV - but she was always up for a walk or to play on the floor. Just a really good dog. And a nice size too. She was a jet black cockapoo - perfect for our 2 bedroom condos.
This may be a derail, but are any of y’all owned by a canine that appears to be psychic?
Our canine masters apparently know when I am preparing to leave on an errand because they all think they are going along for the ride. Note that they do not do this when I am merely going to the lab every morning. Only when I am going to the store or something like that.
I have tried to isolate what I am doing that triggers this (putting on my shoes, getting my keys, asking SWMBO if she needs something,…) but I have not yet been successful in doing so.
And yes, they have trigger phrases. In fact, I have taken advantage of this by referring to the vet as ‘camp’, as in ‘do you want to go to camp?’
My mother had a dog that knew the typical: “cookie,” “out,” “walk,” etc. But we also learned we could torment him with “COMEDIAN!” He thought we were saying “Come in!” and that someone was at the door.
If my dog sees me put anything on other than work clothes and shoes (like a pair of shorts and a t-shit), he gets all excited and looks at me like ‘are we going to the park?’
It’s probably because just about every weekend day starts with me waking up, bumbling around for 30-40 minutes and then taking him for his walk.
