LOL @ andygirl…
Sounds kind of like the Keeper…
Andygirl. Just one question. Would the vacuum stop women from being bitchy, too?? If so, that benefits us guys, too.
Wonder how many of these idea’s were direct results of being stoned? I know my roller coaster idea came to me while we were really baked and dicussing the how pizzahut stuffed crust pizza would be greatly inhanced if they included sauce and the topping you ordered along with the cheese. chedder’o’s sound like they would be a great compliment to us who live mostly on kraft dinner
I think that I should open a store called “Lots o’ Useless Stuff.” Y’know, it’d sell stuff like lava lamps and bean bag chairs, and just general fun stuff that you don’t need, but that’s really cool. Also, I think the name would attract buisness, since people would be curious to see just what useless stuff was in “Lots o’ Useless Stuff.” I’m telling you, it’d work!
I had an idea for pants that doubled as shorts with snaps or buttons at the bottom to roll the pants up.
This may qualify me for the geekiest non-invention ever.
I always thought mirrored contact lenses would be cool. I had that idea ages ago, so someone may actually be selling them by now.
I can attest I was NOT stoned, as I’ve never taken anything stronger than Valium in my life-and that was for oral surgery…
See, I have a sick mind all on my own!
When I was younger, I used to find ads for pads and tampons in magazines and color the picture of the pad with red pen.
It was my mom’s magazine and she yelled at me.
Oh, no no no! I thought of mirrored contacts (Scolari lenses that cover the whites as well as the middle) ages ago!
I thought it would be fun getting pulled over, crossing the Canadian borser, etc.
I guess great minds think alike, eh?
Uh-uh, that was mine.
seems fairly interesting to me that most of your “weird ideas” involve money making schemes–that wasn’t the original intention was it?
My strangest idea is my plan for going down in medical infamy.
Women do self-breast exams, and guys do self-testicular exams. But more common than either of those two is prostate cancer, so it’s time for–
–the self-rectal exam.
I’m going to pioneer this technique, and thus attach my name to it, to avoid the snicker factor of “self-rectal exam”–it will be known as the Piercy Exam. I will market books and videos that describe in explicit detail how to go about this.
Once a month, every health-conscious guy in the civilized world will say, “Hey, it’s the first. Time for my Piercy.” He will then proceed to stick his finger up his ass.
It will be my lasting contribution to public health, and my colossal joke on humanity, all at once!
(This is what happens when I don’t get enough sleep.)
Dr. J
A metal grate scraper in front of public buildings, when people pass over them they inadvertantly scrape their shoes. A vacum pump triggered by the weight of the person or people, and simultaneously sucks the dirt into a " mysterious barrel somewhere"
I know it needs work.
Just for the record, I wasn’t stoned when i came up with my idea. I was just REALLY REALLY tired. By the way, mirrored contacts sound cool, I can’t believe that never even crossed my twisted little mind.
I thought conversation hearts that said “Let’s just be friends” would be funny. Of course, I’d probably be the only person to get one. . .
They have these pants now that unzip into shorts. And I’ve seen a shirt where you can roll up the sleeves and button them short.
My idea is to have everybody in the US give me one cent. No one would miss it much and I would make about 2.5 million.
Instead of hating the teletubbies, we should pity them. They are trained life forms (I’m assuming), kept caged and made to perform for the basics of life. They are monitored, taped and recieve no benefits for this. We should sick PETA, congress, the president and everyone else on this idea at once.
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Drinking fountains for cats. They would be attached to the toilet, since cats seem to like toilet water better than what’s in their bowls. They step on a “landing pad” which launches a stream of water. Poof ! Fresh water for Fluffy and I don’t have the leave the damn bathroom sink on trickle all day long.
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Combined washer/dryer. Not one of those cheesball stackable units. Throw your clothes in, they get washed. The water drains and the heat kicks on and DRIES the clothes, without you ever having to move the clothes from one machine to the other.
And my all time favorite:
- The MICROFREEZE! Simply add a “chill” button to the microwave. (To all the engineers out there: I’ve got dibs on the patent!) Need ice for a party? Pick up a six pack and it’s not cold yet? Trying to flash freeze the neighbor’s cat? Pop it in the microfreeze, hit 30: and presto! Cool frozen treats in a fraction of the time spent in a conventional freezer. My engineer friends claim this is impossible – it’s easier to generate heat than it is to generate cold. I don’t buy it. I think they all ran out to get the patent on it before I found out…
A couple of odd thoughts:
- Business card inspired by a newspaper story on shipping medical supplies, and one on the Russian armed forces selling off equipment:
Bat out of Hell Couriers
Organs for Transplant, Around the World
Fresh Meat a Specialty
- Products inspired by my eye surgery:
Eye patches in different materials: black satin for formal occasions (to match the cummerbund), denim (with rivets and that red tag, if we can get the license), black leather with studs, fringed rawhide for cowboys, and so on.
I think a lot of so-called “brilliant” ideas have occurred to people before, they just weren’t tried because market research indicated that nobody would buy the products. Like “Steak Juice.” I believe if you reduced steak to a liquid, you would get a substance remarkably similar to blood or grease. Who would drink that?
My strangest/dumbest idea came about when I was a kid. I figured that if I built a perfect cube and attached a rocket engine perpendicularly to each side, then set them all off at once, the contents of the cube would go back in time. Don’t ask where I got this idea. Of course, knowing what I know now, the contents of the cube would just be crushed. But ignorance was bliss at age 10.