I don’t know what category this falls into, but I think it’s a general psychology question.
Mr. Jarbaby and I watched three consecutive episodes of The Sopranos last night. And when it was over, I jumped Mr. Jarbaby with the horny lust strength of an Ibex in Heat.
And afterwards, when I had time to reflect, I just had to question what the hell was wrong with me. From probably the age of 12 on, I’ve been utterly consumed with villains, criminals and general ‘bad boys’ with power. Stories of the Mob are like an aphrodisiac.
What really surprises me about this is that I’ve dated a bonafide bad boy, drug addict, chain smoker, physical and mental abuser, made me cry on a daily basis. I dropped him and married an angel. A real, honest to god angel, who makes me laugh and loves me and is sweet and cuddly and a friend of all mankind.
But then I see evil in books, or on screen and I just get all lusty. When I get turned on by watching Anthony Soprano bitchslap someone, is that a freaking disorder or what? I don’t want him to bitchslap me, certainly. But I love to see men angry, swearing, yelling, fighting. My favorite characters in books or movies are always the bad ones, the ones I’m not supposed to like. I love the men in the book Justine, I love Javert, I love Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator, Gary Sinise in Ransom, and since we’re on the subject, Gary Sinise in Streetcar Named Desire, as a cruel, abusive, horrible Stanley was like watching two hours of porn for me.
I’m a relatively good girl I think, but my mother told me when I was fifteen that my constant attraction to darkness, evil and violence was going to end up being my downfall.
I know this is a common phenomena, (good girls loving bad boys) but I really want to know what the appeal is. We’ve discussed this before in this thread, but that was more of a listing of names than delving into the psychology of the attraction.
What do you think is the heart of this issue?