Dude he knew you are a virgin! He is part of the conspiricy, He is a variable sent into the experiment that is you, by the scientists in control. I am not supposed to be contacting you and revealing it to you, but I cant watch them do this to you anymore! Humans have rights too! Take my advice go into your bathroom and throw a chair into the mirror, that is the portal out. you can make it out of there! wait till like 4 in the morning when they least expect it. If you get this message close this thread and never open it again so they cant find this message. If I am found out they will send me to the minning colony at separpus4! Make haste, young man make haste!!
Personally I think it’s very admirable that a guy your age is still a virgin. Most of the guys I know are trying to get layed. That said, I also think that silence was quite a good response. However, since I’m sure you’re looking for something verbal…
“I’m glad you wish to imitate me. It’s nice you want to be like me. It would probably work better though if you weren’t a pedophile, who tryed acting cool by hanging out with guys a third of his age.” (Get up, and walk off tossing a disgusted over your shoulder.)
It seems that idiots like him seem to understand simplistic statements of fact rather than long winded rants. (I did, however, like Miller’s response.)
I think Cisco (while perhaps downplaying the obnoxiousness of this guy a tad) has a point. Smile and get out, pronto.
Or, do what I have seen done (and have done a few times) when someone completely crosses the line: Turn the tables on them. One time a co-worker asked me a completely intimate and personal question that would have been embarrassing for me, no matter how I had answered (a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” kind of thing). Knowing that I couldn’t answer her (she was not entitled to an answer), and knowing that getting pissed at her would just cause her to raise her eyebrows, I started laughing. I said, “I can’t believe you just asked that! What a thing to ask!” I then proceeded to go around to nearby co-workers and tell them what the woman asked me, all the time laughing and saying, “Can you believe she asked me that?” She was so embarrassed—she apologized and never bothered me about it again. She was a nice person otherwise, just clueless.
I don’t know how you could have done this exactly with this guy, because he seems pathetic and beyond clueless. But some sort of “gang laugh” where all your buddies and you say, “Can you believe that this 43 year old man is asking us these personal questions and saying these things to us?” might have helped. Who knows.
Personally, I think your response was fine. Sometime silence speaks volumes.
If it makes you feel better, he couldn’t tell that you were a virgin–it isn’t stamped across your forehead for the world to see, even if it feels that way sometimes. This is a classic cold reading–he through out a lot of shit that didn’t get any reaction, but when he said “you’re a virgin!” he saw by your reaction that you were, and, more importantly, that you were sensitive about it. Which is why he focused in on it.
“You’re a virgin!”
“yes, but tomorrow, I may get laid, whereas tomorrow you will still be an asshole”
No better response than the one you made.
Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level, and beat you on experience.
Ten years from now, you will no longer be a virgin. But he will still be an idiot.
Regards,
Shodan
Wait till the next bevy (I believe they come in bevies) of 15 year old girls come by and say loudly “I can’t belive you’re checking those girls out. You’re old enough to be their father.”
They will respond with withering looks of disgust and possibly giggling and “Eww, gross” comments and he will see himself for the pathetic fool that he is and realize that however obsessed he is with them, he (unlike you and your friends) is completely sexually invisible to them.
Of course this bit of personal enlightenment won’t last beyond his next beer.
Its just a " guy thing". Some do it with their prowess with the women and some with other things like " how manly it is to drink a lot of booze. For example, once I was in a bar with several other firends and a friend of one of the others at the table was invited to join us. After a short while he offered to by a round for everyone at the table. He he asked everyone what they were drinking and when he asked me I said " a coke “. He stared at me and then said” I’ll buy you a drink but I’m not buying any damn cokes". I usually always drink cokes and don’t find a need to prove my manhood by drinking excessive amounts of booze.
I suppose that this was this guys way of expressing his manhood, much like the fellow you encountered.
Just list this as one of lifes experiences and go on with your life, and don’t be surprised the next time you meet one of these folks, they are all over and you will be sure to meet many more.
I think the disbelieving look, a slow grin, and “Dude! You’re pathetic!” is a good way to go. The grin is key, though: when someone’s attacking you with words, there’s no better defense than to realize how funny they are. And this sounds alternately hilarious and tragic.
Or you can try, “Dude. You’re fat, bald, and divorced, and you’ll end your days in a nursing home hitting on the nurses that wipe your ass and thinking you’re sexy. You’ll never be eighteen again. Give it up.”
Or, if you want to out-creep him, stare at his belly in increasing consternation until he asks you what you’re looking at. Drag your gaze away to his face, look horrified, and say, “It’s stomach cancer. Have you been to a doctor yet about it? I’m afraid it may be too late: it’s already spread to your liver and right kidney.”
That last one, though, is either useless or really mean, depending on how convincing you are. When I was an obnoxious teenager, I kinda wanted to find someone evil enough to try it on, but I never did.
Daniel
You’re calling him a dog and a worm? That’s terrible. You’re insulting the dogs and worms!
Silence was the perfect response. One of those, I’m not going to dignify that comment with a response kind of things.
And why in the world would you care about what a strange rude loud mouth 43 year old thinks. And for that matter it wasn’t really about you. He may have said that to anyone who was sitting on the bench. We old folks sometimes like to live vicariously through you young’ns. Most of us keep our comments to ourselves. The complete dickheads do what that guy did.
C’mon Cisco and kevja, cut the guy some slack. He’s 18 and wondering if he did the right thing, so he asks us. When I was his age, I would have liked some advice, if nothing else, out of curiousity.
At that age, I would have responded the same way he did, only I would have wished for some crushing riposte instead. I would have hated walking away; that looks pathetic if you did it by yourself, and how would you know, if you said, “Let’s get out of here,” that his friends would have followed?
And, yes, if being irritated/annoyed/hurt by stranger’s comments makes you a pussy, then so be it. Unless you’re Ted Kazinski, you’re a social animal, and until you’ve been through the mill a few times and learn that what other people say don’t mean shit, it may hurt. That’s part of growing up, and sundog should get some props for coming out and asking, rather than doing the usual dumb-ass guy thing and keeping quiet.
As for his response, silence was good, with added points for not playing along with this asshole. He could also have kept it civil and deflected these rude comments by asking the guy questions. “Is that how you did it when you were my age, sir?” had the benefit of combining Eddie Haskell-like obsequiousness with the polite but-oh-so-cutting “sir.” This also gives the idiot added opportunities for posturing.
I used to live in Santa Barbara. Depending on which mall you’re talking about, I know how great it is just to sit for a while and enjoy the day. However, I don’t find it surprising you were accosted like that… Got some crazies down there.
I moved just two hours north to SLO, and it’s remarkably different (though I did meet the messiah a week ago).
You did well. It’s not like there’s a rule book for what to do when some crzy middle aged man creeps you and your friends out. Stay away from the crazies and have fun, that’s what SB’s good for! 
“I may be ‘uninitiated’ up to this point, but you can go fuck yourself right now!”
But then again, I too probably would have just given him an icy, pointedly evil glare. . . Good call.
Tripler
Or I woulda thumped 'im. 
Gives OP a HUGE hug and kiss.
You sweetie, are worth 10 times your weight in gold of that slimy jerk!!! I am very impressed by your maturity, compassion, respect for women (and on and on and on).
And you know what? That moron is the same age as I am. He’s the type that could never “get laid” (sorry, hope that isn’t too tacky) when he and I were teens, and he’s the type that won’t get laid now.
Sweet guys like you? You all are the ones who will “get the girls”.
Wish you could have nailed him with some of the great come-backs that the other people in this thread mentioned, but at least feel vindicated in that the creature knew absolutely NOTHING.
(applauds the OP and bursts into tears)
On the behalf of my fellow virgins, I congratulate you. May your preferred gender bless you with their finest avatar of beauty and charm.
I like Ace_Face’s response. I’de rather be an 18 year old virgin than a 43 year old pedophile.
“Take a hike, asshole.” (delivered with a smile: a crushing blow, but not one he can take offence at)
“Whatever you say, old man.” then do the ignore thing.
“what are you, a Trojan rep?”
“And you’re God’s gift to women, no doubt. Tell us: when’s the last time you got laid? And I hate to break it to you, buddy, but your right hand doesn’t count.”
“what do you care? are you scouting someone safe to help you with your wife?”
“that’s what your slut wife said, too, before I fucked her in the ass and had her screaming for more.” [this one’s too misogynistic for me, but it would probably get the result you wanted]
“not since I had my way with your daughter”
Umm, that’s all I can think of right now. And to be honest, I should let you know that I wouldn’t have been able to come up with any of these on the spot. We all sound a lot more witty given time to think about a great response.
Damn, that guy is pathetic. If he hadn’t been so aggressively obnoxious is might be pretty pitiful, but he definetly crossed the line from ‘well meaning, but annoying’ to ‘an obnoxious, waste-of-your-time jerkoff.’
The other posters (most of them, at least) expressed my thoughts much more succintly than I would have, but I especially like yosemitebabe’s idea of the ‘gang laugh.’ It would have been a wonderful shift in the power dynamic - him going from having the upper hand because of his age and impoliteness to being very definetly outnumbered by three scornful 18 year-olds.