You're in like Flynn if...

Alright, so I just read the whole Steve Scares Me/Is a Hottie thread, and it lead to a few thoughts. It may qualify as a debate, but I’ll start it here.

a.) While I have never watched the show, if a man is good with young children, forget it. I am a blubbering mess of estrogen. I discussed this phenomeon with my mother, a former pre-school teacher who said “Well, first of all, it’s because it suggests that they are kind people, who know how to play, and would be more tolerant of your playful attitude. Secondly, when I started grad school, and started meeting these kind men, that definately helped me overcome my distrust of men.” Agree/disagree? Or is it evolutionary, that we see men who are good with children, a quality that would make them a good father, and unconciously think this would also make them more likely to be devoted to a commitment with children?

b.)Any hetero chicks out there who don’t want kids: do you find yourself a victim of this disorder?

c.) To be fair: is this a chick thing? Do any guys out there have a thing for chicks who are good with kids? (other than your wife with your own kids, which understandably would be a very warm and fuzzy place to be.)Does the ability to relate to children suggest certain aspects of a personality to you; ie: the ability to dream, patience, kindness, etc.?

Lets refrain from doing Freudian analysis of what it means that SwimmingRiddles has a thing for teachers, and stick, to the subject at hand.

I prefer the fearful Viking ice maiden, whom everyone fears, and from whom children flee in terror.

Ironically enough, my fiancee is a grade school teacher and loves children.

From the male standpoint, I have a soft spot in my heart for women who have a soft sot in their hearts for kids. It proves they can love, I guess.
Pretty good for propogation of the species, too.


Homepage: http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil
Occupation: Swabbie Pounder, First Class
Location: Anywhere you feckless landlubbers ain’t.
Interests: Navy Chow, Port of Call, The Head, Air Superiority
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“Avast and ahoy, landlubbers! Shore leave’s in August. Hide your women.” – A WallySig

I ride the subway here in NY and every now and then I see a guy with a baby and a carriage and a diaper bag. I think to myself (or out loud --this is New York) “yummy”.
Some co-workers and I were discussing this and we all came to the conclusion that there is nothing sexier. Especially if the guy is young with a washboard stomach.

A slightly different perspective than your question directly asked for. I am a young father of a 15 month old, and (at least as far as I can tell!) I’m very good with children. I’ve always had this strange ability to calm a crying baby, and I love playing with little kids. My experience has been that being this way does, in fact, garner a great deal of attention from the opposite sex. Of course that isn’t why I have continued to display this ability to be good with kids… really it isn’t!

I do think seeing a female who is good with kids is an attraction. I would agree that it shows their ability to love and be caring and have a carefree attitude.


–I am Soren Kierkegaard.–
“People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.”

Me, I prefer a guy with a dog or a cat. It means he’s responsible enough to keep an animal alive and healthy. If I see a guy cooing over a kid, it means—

• He’s married and it’s his—back off!
• He loves kids and wants one, which I don’t—back off!
• He’s just kidnapped it and is wondering what sauce would taste best on it—back off!

So no, guys who go all lovey-dovey with children really don’t do a thing for me. In fact, Thursday the 27th is “Bring Your Spawn to Work Day,” and I think I will take a personal day . . .

—Evie Dearest

Me, I prefer a guy with a dog or a cat. It means he’s responsible enough to keep an animal alive and healthy. If I see a guy cooing over a kid, it means—

• He’s married and it’s his—back off!
• He loves kids and wants one, which I don’t—back off!
• He’s just kidnapped it and is wondering what sauce would taste best on it—back off!

So no, guys who go all lovey-dovey with children really don’t do a thing for me. In fact, Thursday the 27th is “Bring Your Spawn to Work Day,” and I think I will take a personal day . . .

—Evie Dearest

Hmm. Well, my girlfriend is a nanny and absolutely wonderful with children, so I’d have to say I’m more attracted to women who are good with kids, but that may be a one time fluke.

Conversely, though, women who dislike children- which seems to be a prevalent attitude amongst my friends- are a definite turn off. On a general level, it probably has to do with a desire to have children of my own someday (by God, I’m going to keep the confusing numbering tradition alive!) and not wanting to have all such thoughts simply dismissed out of hand. On a much, much deeper level it may be that I don’t believe that a woman who can’t stand children would be willing to take care of me in my inadequacies (I swear I’m trying to overcome my fear- literal fear- of doing laundry, but it’s a long, hard struggle). But that may be a bit too freudian.


JMCJ

Give to Radiskull!

I’m great with young kids, and I’m not exactly beating women away with a big stick. This is either not a very important or high priority criteria.

I’m often a great “friend” to women with kids, and they often complain to me about how their husbands and boyfriends don’t pay any attention to the little ones (among other problems).

I’m not complaining, just observing.


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Having helped raise my three younger sisters (disappearing dad trick) I can say children have taught me a great deal of patience. I am very good with kids too - but I believe thats because I can get to their level pretty easily. (I am a firm supporter of the power of regression, and my inner child is big.) My friends across the street have a four year old who I sit for sometimes and I swear I have as much fun as he does. (Sad right ?) Maybe part of it is I watch the same TV shows . . .pokemon, batman, detention, etc. Maybe part of it is that legos are fun at any age. :slight_smile:

As far as finding women who are good with kids attractive, I can say it hasn’t really crossed my mind much. Although in retrospect my last three girlfriends were : a daycare worker, a dance teacher (her students are in 6th grade), and a 8th grade history teacher . . .weird. Hmmmmm, perhaps I just have a thing for teachers.

Actually, John Corrado hit upon what was germinating in my little head. I see myself as a very needy person emotionally, I’m complicated as all hell, (don’t confuse complicated with depth…) and the last relationship I was ended because he made a major mistep and hurt me. So maybe this whole guy-with-kids thing is a need to find someone who will nurture me, and have the patience to figure out how I work.

Nah, I’m not a psych major or anything…

Swimming:

Despite the fact that you misidentified me as a newbie in a past thread :slight_smile: , I’d like to add something to the answers to this question that others have given.

In the distant past, some women that I dated told me that they were more attracted to me when they saw how I interacted with my dog. They indicated that those interactions implied to them:

a) loving personality
b) potentially good father

I know that my mother-in-law also equated my love for my dogs as an indication that I would be a good father.

I’m not sure that my love for dogs (all dogs, but especially my dogs) is at all relevant to either a or b – I think I just love dogs. You could ask my kid what he thinks, but he is only 4 months old so all you’d get is an incredibly cute smile and some drool.

Speaking as a Psychologist, you may not want to overanalyze this phenomenon too much vis-vis your own personality – just make sure it doesn’t sway you to make some bad decisions!

On the other hand, speaking as a university professor in a Psychology Dept., if your college encourages students to do thesis projects for their BA, I see a very interesting survey research project linked to current psychobiological thought (if you are in to psychobiology). If you are interested, I could suggest some more detailed ideas.

Eissclam.

Dear person whom I formerly mis-identified as a newbie, which occured as I looked only at post counts: :slight_smile:

[hijacking my own thread]Definately interested in psychobiology, and social psych, which could fit in very well, too. Give me whatever you’ve got! As for overanalysing my own personality: my dad’s a shrink…it’s in my nature![/hijacking my own thread]

Big Hijack:

Well, ok. Here are some thoughts that may interest you – they would need some careful operationalizing and you’d definately want to do a lit search on the topic as a first step.

If I were you I’d be interested in finding out if there is an assocation between this phenomenon that you have observed (attracted to men who play with kids) and some of the factors that you noted in your OP. That is:

Is it gender specific?
Is it related to self-reported for desire to have kids.

You might also ask if a person’s attractiveness rating increases with their ability to get along with/play with kids. I am sure that there are other factors thay may come into play as well.

Before I note the tie to sociobiology, I should point out that I am NOT a sociobiologist, and some of what follows reflects my grad school training, which by now may no longer be up-to-date. Also, I hope everyone knows that the views regarding reproductive success that I am describing below are thought to be the by-products of 1000s of years of evolution, not a reflection of current sociocultural norms.

So, with those caveats, the tie to sociobiology might be related to the idea that many features considered attractive are actually related to a high probability of reproductive succcess (i.e., many men’s attraction to large breasts, indicating [in the past]ability to provide milk to offspring; many women’s attraction to well-muscled men, indicating [in the past] an ability to provide for the mother and child during early development). You know, the whole Desmond Morris schtick, with some Richard Dawkins thrown in for that scientific cache.

So, Swimming, you may have hit upon another, more cognitive element of the same reproductive success argument. That is, women likely also find attractive men who show evidence in cooperating in the child-raising process (i.e., not just throwing food on the table, but helping take care of the little ones as well). Such cognitive elements are not often considered in sociobiological models (to my knowledge) but surely, with our advanced central nervous system, must play a role.

Sorry for the long post!

Eissclam.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I don’t know where I fit in this, but I like kids (I have 3 of my own) and I have always thought a woman far gone with child is beautiful.


VB

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

Hmmm. Very interesting. Not really thought about it much, butI would say that seeing a man who is comfortable around and good with kids would definitely get my attention. It does show a large capacity for love and caring and compassion in a man.
VB, what an awesome thing to say about a pregnant woman! When I was pregnant, I just felt like a whale or an elephant. I thought only my hubby thought I was still pretty.


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>

Hmmm. Very interesting. Not really thought about it much, butI would say that seeing a man who is comfortable around and good with kids would definitely get my attention. It does show a large capacity for love and caring and compassion in a man.
VB, what an awesome thing to say about a pregnant woman! When I was pregnant, I just felt like a whale or an elephant. I thought only my hubby thought I was still pretty.


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>

Hmmm. Very interesting. Not really thought about it much, butI would say that seeing a man who is comfortable around and good with kids would definitely get my attention. It does show a large capacity for love and caring and compassion in a man.
VB, what an awesome thing to say about a pregnant woman! When I was pregnant, I just felt like a whale or an elephant. I thought only my hubby thought I was still pretty.


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>

Hmmm. Very interesting. Not really thought about it much, butI would say that seeing a man who is comfortable around and good with kids would definitely get my attention. It does show a large capacity for love and caring and compassion in a man.
VB, what an awesome thing to say about a pregnant woman! When I was pregnant, I just felt like a whale or an elephant. I thought only my hubby thought I was still pretty.


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>