The following telephone conversation recently transpired:
OK, two things:
First of all, I realize the kid is following a script. But he can’t be too big of a dummy – he apparently was sharp enough to get into a top-15 law school. Plus, this isn’t some tyrannical call-center he’s working at – it’s the law school, probably for tuition money. He won’t be fired for going off-script. And he should be smart enough to recognize that, at the very least, my first answer should require a bit more tact in asking the rest of the questions. Hey, kid: you’re going to be a lawyer; listening skills and tact are attributes you ought to cultivate whenever possible.
But I’m only mildly miffed at the caller. My real ire lies with the scriptwriter. Who the fuck writes a fundraising script that (1) asks about employment and then (2) doesn’t change if the answer to question #1 is negative? Isn’t it glaringly obvious that jumping directly into the fundraising pitch after a negative answer about employment sends a message that “we don’t really give a shit about you personally – send us money no matter how many turnips you have to squeeze for blood.” That may be an accurate message, of course, but it’s hardly the one you want your mark – ah, I mean alumni – to hear.
Attention alumni fundraisers: I know you only care about separating cash from my wallet, but I’d appreciate it if you weren’t so damned obvious about it. In the future, please either (1) just jump straight into the fundraising pitch (like my undergraduate alma mater) or (2) at least ask some other survey-type questions between the employment question and the fundraising pitch so I’ll have time to forget that you know I’m unemployed. Thank you for your support.
So? What do they have to lose? Your -snort- respect? Hell, once they know you’re unemployed they have more reason to cut to the chase and ask if they’re going to get any money from you.
My undergrad did the same thing for a while. Apparently they’ve learned, because this year when they called and said they were representing the alumni fund, I simply told them that I was an unemployed grad student with absolutely nothing extra to give to them. They accepted that the first time around.
Eh, I sent my undergrad $1.00, just so they could say I participated. And of course they entered my name in some sort of raffle to award the people who donated with a thrilling book about the history of the college. And I won. I think it’s kind of amusing that they managed to lose money on me, but that’s what they get for asking a grad student!
When I called alumni for money, we weren’t supposed to ask people who were still students for money. This included Grad School even if it was at a different school. This is a critical point. If the alum was “still in school” we weren’t dinged for a refusal in our stats.
I work in the department of alumni annoyance. I got dinged in my stats once because I happened to call a guy who was endowing a lectureship at my school, had given us about $75K in the last year, and had already agreed to give $35K more, because I didn’t manage to get him to give me $25.
That being said… we don’t directly ask people if they’re employed. It goes like this:
Intro
Confirm address
Ask if they want to update their employer info
Tell them we’re calling to let them know what’s going on on campus and to tell them about annual giving stuff
Tell them about new buildings, programs, landscaping, anything else they want to know about
Beg for money
I DO still ask for money from unemployed people, because sometimes they do give it… but it usually means I just jump down to seeing if I can get a participation pledge ($25) out of them.
I work in the department of alumni annoyance. I got dinged in my stats once because I happened to call a guy who was endowing a lectureship at my school, had given us about $75K in the last year, and had already agreed to give $35K more, because I didn’t manage to get him to give me $25.
That being said… we don’t directly ask people if they’re employed. It goes like this:
Intro
Confirm address
Ask if they want to update their employer info
Tell them we’re calling to let them know what’s going on on campus and to tell them about annual giving stuff
Tell them about new buildings, programs, landscaping, anything else they want to know about
Beg for money
I DO still ask for money from unemployed people, because sometimes they do give it… but it usually means I just jump down to seeing if I can get a participation pledge ($25) out of them.
I’ve given up sending money to any worthy cause that solicits by phone. I don’t care how worthy they are, I swear there’s a list of ‘easy marks’ out there, and my name got on it after I sent money to the Food Baskets for Families of Veterans, or something similar.
So they call up. They begin their spiel, usually by addressing me by my first name without warning. “Hi, Angela!” Making me wonder if this is somebody I know, and I’m just not recognising the voice. But no - the spiel begins. I interrupt, saying “We’re not giving to anybody right now.” “But,” they say, “It’s only $25!” (or in the case of the Republican Party, only $250). I hang up. Anybody who even thinks of arguing with me about what I do with my own money is going to be the LAST of all possible recipients to receive any.
