You're stopped by the police. Do you listen carefully and follow every instruction quickly?

In My Humble Opinion
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new post. Previous poll was rejected for being too long. :smack:
Respect for authority was drilled into my generation. If you went to the school principal’s office you knew better than to back talk. You listened to what he/she had to say, indicated a willingness to do better, and returned to class. You might even wait a few days before shooting off any more spitballs.

Same thing when you’ve been a PITA all day at home. Mom issues the dreaded “wait until your dad comes home” proclamation. You better bet when it was time to face dad, it was time to be the sweetest, most eager to please kid on that street.

These kinds of life skills serve you well as an adult. If you do get stopped by the police then that’s the time those skills make all the difference. Be extra polite, patient, listen very carefully to instructions, never make any sudden movements, and comply immediately to instructions without any comment. The goal is to get it over with quickly and with the least hassle. It makes your life easier and it makes the officer’s job less stressful.

People today don’t realize that showing an attitude or back talking does nothing but escalate a tense situation. For example it can make all the difference in being a given a ticket you pay by mail and having to go straight to traffic court to pay immediately.

You can still run into a rude police officer. But being polite and cooperative is still the best strategy. I got nailed in a speed trap in another state. Had to drive to traffic court right then and pay before I could continue my trip. Lost several hours of travel time. I wasn’t happy about it, but you wouldn’t have known it by the expression on my face. I was very cooperative and couldn’t wait to get the hell out of that town. It was the classic money making speed trap that they were running. Sure, I could have complained and extended my stay. But why would I make things more difficult for myself?

I see this come up today constantly in news reports. People are uncooperative, they back talk and it bites them in the ass every time. Its just common sense that you’ll get a better outcome if you’re polite and cooperative.

Its important to remember that any traffic stop carries with it a certain amount of stress on the police officer. They never know who or what situation they will encounter. Just days ago a 15 year veteran California officer was shot and killed in the blink of an eye. His partner returned fire and wounded the killer. He was arrested at a hospital the next day.

Just as an example, this lady escalated a simple traffic stop (failing to use a turn signal) because she wouldn’t extinguish a cigarette. Police give that same instructions to smokers in every state for decades. Who wants smoke in their face? It comes right out of your opened car window. It stinks and second hand smoke is now a recognized health hazard. Even worse a hot cigarette flicked at the officer’s face can be a weapon. The whole thing was recorded on dash cam. Just a little politeness and cooperation and this lady would have been on her way with the ticket. Instead it escalates and she gets jailed. Then allegedly commits suicide in the cell. Tragic and senseless case.

Please don’t derail this thread with a discussion of the Sandra Bland case. I know its controversial and the cop certainly overreacted. Its a senseless tragedy. Please start your own thread if you want to discuss it at great lengths. I’m just using this as an example. How a failure to comply with a basic and reasonable instruction needlessly escalated what should have been a trivial traffic stop.

I see these news reports week after week and just shake my head. Is it that hard to be polite and cooperative for 10 or 15 minutes? What is the deal with the current generation?

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note to self. copy/pasting a thread loses the formatting and the links. Naturally the wonderful PITA edit time out bites me.

Its just not my day.

heres the two lost links.

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This seems to be a generational thing. We knew if we got into trouble at school the punishment waiting when we got home was much worse. Respect for authority was everything.

The school bus drivers had a signal to let parents know their kid had been disruptive on the bus. My dad was not happy when my mom told him I had been bad. I don’t recall the incident now. I was probably running up and down the aisle, slapping at the other kids and pulling kid’s hair. Basically a six year old brat. That was one of the rare times the belt came out. My mom has said she never got that bus driver’s signal again. I must have been better behaved. :wink:

It helps tremendously when respect for authority is taught at home. Support the teachers and principal’s punishments. Find out directly from the source the reason for the punishment. Turn it into a life lesson.

It reflects into adult life too.

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The time to argue is in court or in a complaint to supervisors/elected officials. Belligerence during a time of heightened tension will make the situation worse for everyone. It’s not a respect thing, it’s a logic thing.

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Since I’m white, any disrespect, real or perceived, would probably be tolerated.

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garygnu: what if the policeman is black? He might get stiff-necked if a white man disrespected his authority.

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I think it would help if the state police and the local forces would issue public service announcements with a number to call and reporting web sites if the citizen encountered a unusually rude or actually abusive cop.

A state web site with links to each local town’s police force would be ideal. Take the reports seriously. Check the dash cams and audio for the stop. Issue a registered letter acknowledging the complaint and the outcome. Punish officers as needed. It will require extra staffing and money. But regaining the public’s trust is worth it. Politeness and patience has to flow in both directions. Abusive cops can’t be tolerated and neither can abusive citizens.

I would have issued a complaint about the speed trap. But they did get me. I topped a hill and the speed dropped from 55mph to 35mph. The cop was waiting right there. I would have known about their tourist trap if I lived locally.

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However displeased I am about the confrontation, I’m always aware it can get worse. I generally try to appear pleasant and reasonable, while saying as little as possible.

White, male, 50s, lawyer

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It’s called google. It’s not that hard to find a phone number.

I have often had to contact other agencies from around the state and a few times from around the country. I don’t have some secret cop database. I use Google. I have never failed to locate a contact number for a police agency within minutes at most.

I can’t answer for every jurisdiction across the country but complaint systems should already be in place. I know in my state and particularly in my county every complaint has to be investigated and documented. All of what you said is done. Even when the complainant is crazy and comes in with weekly off the wall complaints. It’s done with current staffing and no extra money.

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I would probably follow instructions, but if they seemed unreasonable I would at least try to politely ask the reason for the instruction.

“Excuse me, officer, but may I ask why you want me to put out my cigarette?”

Depending on the answer, I might or might not say anything further.

“I see. It did seem a strange request, but I’ve put it out now.” Or

“I see. Please note that I am putting out my cigarette, under protest.” Or something else.

If I get more attitude or increased anger, I would stop any further questions, follow instructions from then on, make as many mental notes as possible of the occurrences during the stop, and write them down as soon as possible. Then I would make as detailed and strongly-worded a complaint as I was able to the authorities. I wouldn’t expect much to happen, but perhaps there are already similar complaints against this officer, or there will be, and then something will be done.

One instruction I will not question or disobey is to get out of the car. That seems a trigger point for almost every LEO who makes traffic stops.

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I’m always polite and have never had a problem.

There was one time I cussed some cops out (long story) but they deserved it, knew it, and apologized.

I will argue, politely, but if they are wrong and I am right I will stand my ground.
One night a cop wanted to have my truck towed because he said the tags were suspended. I said no, the tags are good, the driver’s license of the owner is suspended. He checked into it further, realized I was right and let me go. No way was I going to be dumped on the side of the road at 3am with a couple hundred newspapers and have to go the next day to use MY money to get the truck out of impound for his mistake.

Being nasty isn’t going to get you anywhere, they are just doing their job.

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I can easily imagine the number of nit picking complaints departments get over traffic stops. LOL They can be aggravating. I don’t want to get stopped and try hard not to give the police a reason.

But they have to wade through the trivial ones to find the occasional legitimate complaint.

My uncle served on the DC Metropolitan police from the late 40’s to the early eighties. A Captain when he finally retired. A great guy, loved to go fishing. I always looked forward to visiting their home. But I always knew he was a different guy when he was on duty. I never got to do a ride along. He was already working a desk when I was a teen.

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This is it right here. You simply do not ever resist the police in the field, period. (After all, if the cop is wrong initially, what makes you think he will stop being wrong after you complain? Isn’t he just as likely to double down on wrongness?)

I would even clarify it this way: I will never complain to anyone but my lawyer. If he’s not there, then I do whatever I’m asked. My lawyer can sue them later.

I won’t even go as far as making any kind of sarcastic, negative or snide comment. For example, I was once in a car with a friend who said “I guess you just need to fill your quota” about getting a speeding ticket that he didn’t agree with. Nothing happened in that case, but I cringed. How stupid do you have to be to provoke the police in even the slightest way? If you feel that way about the ticket, you say it in front of the judge when you contest the fines.

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I’d answer questions and do what I was told. My hope would be that I might get out of this situation without a ticket.

But I’m not denying reality. I’m a middle-aged white man. I’m aware that other people may not get treated the same way by the police that I do.

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I listen and respond quickly but follow them deliberately Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. Smooth also avoids misunderstandings. I wouldn’t say it’s so much a respect for authority as respect for the challenges of their job. I want things to proceed smoothly for both of us. Making things simple pays dividends for both of us.

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Speeding, lights before even got to him, knew I was had the instant I saw him, he had a great spot.

Pulled up right in front of him & he had to back up so he could angle his car out a bit in that ‘protect him from stupid drives’ way that many do.

Had a great time with as we traded jokes, talked about why I was speeding, etc.

I got to leave as he backed into his spot again and knew from our talk that my speeding for that day was done which was his intent all along. ( State Trooper )
Riding with a drunk driver who was being silly. Got the lights while we were trying to get out of some ladies yard we sorta landed in. Driver turned off the engine, window was already down, his hands on wheel and mine on dash.

Up comes a Barny Fife looking kid in uniform holding a BIG looking revolver ( was long ago in a smallish town in Okla. ) who was ( with spittle flying ) screaming " If you move your hands I will shoot you." ½ second pause, “Open the door & get out now or I will shoot you.” and instantly started over …

This went on for about 10 rounds ( while we remained frozen by which time we were convinced that we were dead no matter what we did.

Finally an officer who was apparently in the patrol car also finally came up to the kid & calmed him down.

Maybe because we were by then scared sober, the lady though it was funny the way we ended up in her yard was really kinda funny & not concerned about the ruts we made, the other, older, calmer officer figured that with what the BF officer did that it was enough or he really hated paper work we ended with the car parked in the street, the lady got the keys and we walked back to the motel. Had to walk back the next morning to get the car. We never told our boss as we still got the job done.

Oh, we were very polite through it all and tried as best we could not to look like a mean blonde Sasquatch and an evil, nasty, runt of a Choctaw
American Indian.

Fun times in the Kiamichi…

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Refusing to obey an unlawful order is ‘escalating’ the situation?

WTF?!

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I’m pretty sure extinguishing a cigarette during a traffic stop is a lawful order in all 50 states. Its only for the short time during the stop that you’re interacting with the officer.

You can smoke the rest of the pack afterward. Even two packs. nobody particularly cares.

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One thing I always do is explain, aloud, what I’m doing.

“I’ve got to reach into the glove compartment to get my registration papers.”

One highway patrolman actually asked me why I was saying that. I told him. “I don’t want to startle you! You’ve got a great big gun! Never startle a man who has a gun!”

He laughed. Also let me go without a ticket. (He was a black man, and I’m white.)

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They bring it on themselves is the underlying message.