You're supposed to light the candles, not your dad

I like the guy’s alibi:

In all fairness, the invitations did mention barbecue.

I was dying laughing when I heard about it on the radio this morning. “…you are the candle.” Fucking Hilarious!


I read the link from the OP, and was thinking “Wow, the wit just writes itself for this, doesn’t it?”

Only it doesn’t. I don’t like to make fun of people on the basis of a disability, and if your way of proving your innocence in this situation is you were arguing over whether or not kerosene is flammable…

“You are the candle” is a good line, though. Very B-horror-flick-esque.

Uh, wow. That’s an ugly sentence in the middle. Should say: “If your way of proving your innocence is you were too stupid to know if kerosene is flammable…”

Was this a two person party? What were the other guests doing?

Putting marshmallows on sticks, I assume.

I hope he fries for this!

But I wanna know what the ‘crime’ of being an habitual criminal involves. The bugger got FIVE COUNTS…what’s the straightdope on the criminality of being a criminal?