I have hated the zero tolerence crap in schools and in every other institution since adopted. They always fall back to we can’t do anything about it, and the punishment in some cases is rediculous. I’m also mad at the parents that let this shit pass in the first place. They didn’t think their kid would ever be in the wrong, so punish all those other kids severly and without mercy.
You may want to try a pizza party or outing for his friends, if he’d like to invite some for a moving party.
Ask your state representative or elected school board member to sponsor your own “zero tolerance” bill or policy. Any administrator who is the slightest bit rude or standoffish in dealing with a parent is automatically fired from the job – sorry, no exceptions, and no discussion of what constitutes “rude”.
Name the bill after this principal.
Sailboat
Okay…did I read correctly that there were NO complaints? It sounds like the bus driver was tired of end-of-the-year grab-assing and decided to make an example of your kid.
Zero tolerance is stupid any way you slice it. But I’d like to see the language in the policy that addresses this particular kind of infraction. I’m sure they stretched the policy to fit the crime.
Maybe you can get one of the other kids to put a tack on that woman’s chair. And with any luck, it’ll be caught on one of their security cameras. Heh-heh…
As far as I know there were no complaints. What I’m envisioning is that the kids were being loud–it’s the kind of thing I can see kids shrieking and laughing loudly over.
I dunno…I know you don’t want to put the kid through bullshit, but I fail to see how any law enforcement agency anywhere would classify this toy as a weapon. In fact, my guess is that it’s prolly kinda fat…you couldn’t even stab anyone with it as easily as you could a regular pen. I’d raise a stink. A big one. And I don’t think Dominic even has to be involved, since it’s all on tape anyway.
If it was the middle of the year, I’d probably fight it. But the reality is, it’s the last week of class, he’s probably not missing much actual learning, and because of the way the faculty views him, I don’t think that, socially, going back would do him any good.
I’m afraid I’ll have to be the lone voice of dissent, since DtC has withdrawn his complaint.
Disclaimer: I have always hated those things- the pens, the lighters, the decades-old joy buzzers. I hate them because for me, they’re not just a little zap; they really, really hurt, and that certainly colors how I would respond to this “harmless prank.”
Dominic’s error was not necessarily in bringing the pen to school, or using it on other people. His error was in using it on the bus. One of our coworkers brought a similar toy to work on April 1st, and spent much of his shift “shocking” everyone in his vicinity; the kids thought it was the funniest thing ever and would scream and laugh and demand that other kids try it. I don’t think it takes too much of a logical leap to assume that the kids around Dominic responded the same way, thereby creating a potentially hazardous situation. Yes, perhaps the bus driver was just “tired of end-of-the-year grab-assing,” but the bus driver is also going to be a little more hair-trigger because they are responsible for a multi-ton vehicle and a large group of children.
Did the school overreact? Probably… I’d also want to see the videotape- if kids were bouncing from seat to seat, screaming, laughing, etc., then I’d have to side with the school, because I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a bus driver (I sometimes have to transport our kids, and driving our loaded 15-passenger van is the stuff nightmares are made of).* Is the overall policy of zero tolerance stupid as hell? Certainly. I’m sorry Dominic is going to miss out on the end-of-year festivities, but in light of all the stories from this school year and the repeated desire to “start over” I would think in the long run it’s not that huge of a deal.
I don’t want to hijack the thread, but I just don’t think I can let this slide:
Um… poor form, there. Either do, or don’t, but don’t tell him he’s not going to be punished and then reneg. That’s even more confusing for him than being punished by the school- if you don’t think it’s a big deal, are angry with the school for punishing him, and made a point of telling the AP that he won’t be punished, then behave consistently. What you did sent two messages: one, that the school was actually right to punish him, and two, that it’s okay to lie to him if it Sends A Message To Authority. Lecture him on not thinking things through, but be true to your word.
[sub]* Note that I’m not naive enough to think this behavior doesn’t happen every day on the bus; it’s just the instigation of it, by bringing a disruptive toy, that I can see the school being upset about.[/sub]
She didn’t say she was telling Dominic he wasn’t punished; she told the school she wasn’t going to punish him.
Go back to the OP and read the series of events (bolding mine):
She was close enough to Dominic to tell him his vacation started early. Considering what had just transpired, I doubt the AP was standing mere inches away (which would have allowed Opal to drop her voice enough for just the AP to hear). Unless Dominic was in his own little dissociative world at that point over the news he would be going home, there’s little chance he didn’t hear exactly what was said.
I kind of agree with that. Smarting off to the AP in front of your kid sets a poor example, IMHO. The fact that the AP was wrong, flat-out wrong IMHO doesn’t change it. It’s my opinion that adults should really work to remain adult, even under very trying circumstances.
Grrrrr. OpalCat that whole post of yours really boiled my blood. Holy crap is that school over reacting. I have spent most of my life as one of those “easy targets”. Bullies all work the same, they antagonize the victim until he/she has no rational response but to act out. Then the victim gets in trouble for acting out, but do the instigators even get a slight punishment? NO! Way to encourage bullying assholes. To top it off, your son does something relatively minor and he gets suspended for it. If you ask me, this teacher isn’t sympathetic at all, she seems to have picked her favorites and your son is not one of them.
It’s things like this that worry me about how I’m going to react when my childeren get bullied. I’m sure they will be easy targets just like I was. I think I’ll go take a few deep breaths now.
Not quite alone. It was darn poor judgement on the son’s part to bring something like that on the bus. It could have been used to startle the bus driver and cause an accident and no one would be calling it an innocent toy then. I also think by the OP not giving her son a proper punishment for disobeying, she is in fact encouraging him to question future authority because he may feel he can do what he wants and she will defend him.
However, five days does seem extreme. I would think picking him up that day and a few days detention more appropriate so he doesn’t miss class.
I would assume there is a guideline for punishment in the OP county. I am wondering if they considered this a weapon?
Ok, now this I have to disagree with. This is dangerous. You may have been in high school at that time (and with references to cramps, I’m assuming so), but how many high schoolers and grade schoolers know if they have an allergy to ibuprofen? Especially grade schoolers. You could have seriously hurt someone there, and that’s why it’s against school policy. Hell, even if kids have to take routine medication we send them to the nurse so she can make sure there’s no reaction and dosages are properly administered. Teachers don’t hand out pills, and if they did and a kid got sick, would parents shrug and say “accidents happen?” No. The rules for drugs are there for a reason, every kid signs off on them, and if they pass out Advil to anyone who claims to have a headache, they’re violating school rules and state and federal laws.
Exactly. He, along with 3-4 other compatriots, could have used it to hijack the bus. Together with 3 other groups of coordinated middle schoolers, they could have used the buses to ram into their schools, causing untold havoc.
I propose that every bus stop now be equipped with x-ray machines, and that all juice boxes be confiscated because they may contain accelerants that, when combined, might make a potentially fatal stink bomb. Who’s with me?
Certainly that is the message her son’s bullies are getting.
How is this relevant? The school may be neglecting its duties in one way by not dealing directly with the bullies, but that’s nothing to do with this situation. Dominic brought a toy to school which carries manufacturer’s warnings about usage by children and those with heart problems/pacemakers. Whether the school is overreacting in their punishment or not, he shouldn’t be given a free pass just because he’s been picked on at other times.
I’m not going to get dragged into a debate over OpalCat’s situation. Except that she shared it on the SDMB, it is none of my business.
I’ve never seen one of the pens, but my brother had a shocking flashlight that looked very much like the one shown in the OP’s link. Unlike a joy buzzer, the thing doesn’t merely vibrate and startle you, it delivers an actual electric shock that’s somewhat painful. (The surprise of it probably adds to the effect, but it hurt enough that I didn’t care to touch the thing more than once.)
I agree that the punishment was over-the-top, but it’s really not the kind of “toy” that’s appropriate for a kid to take to school, IMO, and OpalCat showed poor judgment by allowing him to do so (if she was aware he was taking it, which isn’t clear to me from the OP).
Actually, Vinyl, it is clear that OpalCat did not allow her boy to take the pen to school and was surprised to find out he did. It was also clear that the punishment he got was for taking a toy to school, which he apparently should have known was forbidden.
I might be projecting here*, but my kid has endured her share of the same “transient Yankee student” abuse that the OP might have suffering. There are mobs of us down here in metro Atlanta, and I can go days without hearing a Southern accent, until I come in contact with anyone in a taxpayer-funded profession.
At that point, reasoned complaint is futile. I can just see behind their eyes the cliché dying to be uttered: “Well, Delta is ready when you are!”
Oh please, just say it, because I too am just dying to reply “yes, it’s such an improvement on the old Underground Railroad!” (you bet I’d say it to a Black bureaucrat as soon as a white one)
*working on my version of the “You Might Be Redneck If…” routine: “You Might be a Projecting Yankee Transplant, if…”