I’m watching this again on Comedy Central right now. God, this is a classic. A lot of movies tries to copy the success of Airplane!, but none of them came as close to capturing that weird air of non-sequitor like Johnny Dangerously. So many good scenes: the health film with the animated penis, Johnny’s long walk to the chair (with the faux-Priest’s dog Latin: “Ante-meridian, uncle meridian, and all the little meridians.”), Johnny’s mom (played by the same elderly actress, even when the character is supposed to be in her twenties), pricing the kittens… I could go on and on. I’ve seen a few Maroni-isms on this board, so I know a few of you farging iceholes are also fans of this fine example of the cinematic artform. Step up to the plate and share.
Moroni Deported To Sweden
Claims He’s Not From There
Seeing that headline always cracks me up.
And Ray Walston as the blind newspaper vendor who gets hit on the head with a bundle of papers and has his sight restored, then gets hit again and struck deaf, and then gets hit again and gets his hearing back but forgets who he is. . .
Ye Gods, I love that movie.
Zap!
And, of course, how could we forget the performance that cemented Joe Piscopo’s place as the finest comedic actor of whatever week Johnny Dangerously came out?
“It’s an 88 Magnum. It shoots through schools.”
“You shouldn’t hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once.”
And Peter Scolari as the preist…“I missed the bus, you missed the bus, they missed the bus. When’s the next bus?”
Great. Now I have to go buy the movie. Thanks.
My mudder once started a thread about Johnny Dangerously. Once.
I love love love this movie. Just a wonderful movie…
“I’m here today to talk about your testicles.”
Just today I was complaining about a sonumabuchin’ computer program I was trying to use. That should give you some idea of where I rank Johnny Dangerously in the cinematic pantheon.
Here’s a completion game for all you fans out there:
“The Lower East Side…”
fireworks “Looks like Johnny’s…”
“You (blank) bastiges!”
“Do you have any last words?”
“I’ve fulfilled a lot of peoples’ expectations. I’ve grown up to be a …”
“Noodles and…”
“Now that you’re a member of the family, I’ve got somethin’ to tell ya…”
“Shut up and quit actin’ like…”
Johnny, you took a bullet for me!
Actually kid, I was countin on a lotta missin!
Great movie. I use the “secret punch” frequently.
I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy corksuckers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes…like yourselves.
Man, listen to mouth on that guy.
The spinning headlines always cracked me up.
**THIS IS FARGIN WAR!!! **
“Danny Vermin is going to kill my brother at the Savoy Theater tonight!?”
“That’s not what I said!”
“I know this grapevine.”
“Yes Tommy Kelly, this can all be yours if you just. . .PLAAAAAAY BALL!”
This came on a few years ago and I forgot how funny it was.
I always use “you fargin bastages”
Michael Keaton really is underrated as an actor.
“I’m standing here holding my…”
Ma Kelly: “What is it you can’t tell your mother? … Ya wanna get laid!”
Tommy: “MAAAA!”
Ma: “Ya wanna hump your brains out, BABOOM, BABOOM, BABOOM!”
Seeing an old lady deliver those lines is just priceless 
I love this movie. Mr. S hates it. No one else I know seems to have heard of it. Thanks for the validation, folks!
“Malt Liquor, eh?..”
It’s nice to have a movie play on TV without all the forbidden words changed to other ones.
Actually the TV version I’ve seen had all of Roman Moroni’s pseudo-expletives edited out. It really took something out of the movie.
What channel was that? I’m sure CC didn’t do that.
This is easily one of my Top Ten favorite movies. I remember when it was released and there were all these billboards that simply said “Free Johnny Dangerously.” I kept thinking WTF?
When I finally saw the movie I thought it was the funniest thing ever. In fact, the only movie I have EVER seen that made me laugh harder was “There’s Something About Mary”.
And a bit of trivia: In the broadcast version, you will hear “Weird Al” Yankovich sing the opening theme song, “This Is The Life”. On tape/DVD, it aint there. Some sort of licensing disagreement.
“Show me another gang with its own dental plan”.