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#5
08-13-1999, 01:25 PM
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to throw in another guy's view...
i back up Mike King 100%. and i disagree with Stella*Fantasia 100%. i am always on time. punctuality is a big sticking point with me. as well as with every man in my family and most of my friends. on the other hand, most female members of my family seem never to have heard of it. go figure. ellis (speaking for da guyz) 
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#6
08-13-1999, 01:31 PM
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Men do not analyze every situation by the nuances of what was not said vs. what was and who looked at who in a wierd way. I've mentioned to my husband a lot of times "Hey, did you notice the way X was looking at Y after she said that?" The answer is No almost all the time.
Men do not analyze their emotions i.e.,"Why am I feeling this way" like women do. RE: the punctuality thing. My husband and I can be anywhere on time separately but we're almost always late if we're going together. Haven't figured this one out yet.
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#7
08-13-1999, 01:40 PM
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Brown striped underwear is a man thing.
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#8
08-13-1999, 01:44 PM
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Here's food for thought Every time I walk into the hubby's office, the guys are talking about sports. Not the same two or three guys, but everyn guy talking about every sport. It's like an ESPN junkie convention. Every conversation is looped towards "that play" or "did you see the highlight of that game?" . I asked them, about 15 guys, who were standing around looking at some Fantasy Football Websight, if there were no more sports, what would they talk about?
They all answered at the same time: Sex To which I responded, " No wonder you like the highlights...they last longer than sex."
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#9
08-13-1999, 03:04 PM
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They never ask the questions we want to have answered. I mean... my man reports that a cousin\friend\whatever has a baby. He knows if it's a boy or a girl, but not the name. Or... someone has a new squeeze. Gender, yes - but nothing else. On the other hand, he can report exact details of the computer system someone else has... and expects me to know that info as well. Learning to expect this alternate focus has made life easier.
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#10
08-13-1999, 04:47 PM
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Just helpin' you ladies out a little more.
Color We understand color in the basic terms (i.e. red, blue, green). My wife will use terms like mauve, charteuse, and teal . For most guys the reaction will be a dog-like tilt of the head and a blank stare. Usually a good way of interpreting color to guys is to equate it with a sports team color. "Teal" now is defined for me as the Florida Marlins or Carolina Panthers. "Burgundy" with the Washington Redskins. When we have to go shopping for color items, my wife uses this method with reasonable success. ------------------ "...send lawyers, guns, and money..." Warren Zevon
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#11
08-13-1999, 04:50 PM
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We are not deep talkers.
Our topics include but are not limited to: Sports, weather, cars, tools, women, computers, A/V equipment They rarely include: emotions, clothes, emotions, shoes, emotions
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#13
08-13-1999, 10:52 PM
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RE: Color
As Bluepony said, there are ten colors in a man's world: black, white, brown, red, blue, green, yellow, orange, purple, and pink. Everything else can be described in reference to these colors. For example, teal is a greenish blue, aqua is a blueish green. Burgundy is a kind of purple, mauve is a different kind of purple. I have no idea what charteuse is, but as a man, I don't care.
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#14
08-14-1999, 12:22 AM
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If men cannot watch sports (because the cable is out) then a man will go through your entire video collection (which he has never looked through before in years) and watch a video that most closely resembles sports (Like Bull Durham) to satisfy that primal requirement.
------------------ People change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat.
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#15
08-14-1999, 12:33 AM
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They don't use toilet paper after they pee.
That, and even the most liberal, equality-supporting man still loves it when a woman makes a great dinner for him. ------------------ "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" "English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
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#16
08-14-1999, 12:47 AM
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They're always late. Always. No amount of yelling, nagging, or advance planning can change this.
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#17
08-14-1999, 12:48 AM
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Here's one for all of you.
When you ask us what we're thinking about and we say "nothing", don't get mad at us because we're not sharing. We really are thinking about nothing.
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#18
08-14-1999, 08:10 AM
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I dunno, teal is more Jacksonville Jaguars than Carolina Panthers. And the 'Skins are a bit more on the maroon side.
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#19
08-14-1999, 01:39 PM
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One thing i learned too late- Men (generally speaking- mine in particular) are about ZERO interested in the whole baby thing. They don't spend years and years pining for one, and when the time comes to make one the general attitude is "no big deal". The only men who go on and on about babies and how great they are: Men in the movies. That's just my opinion, I'm not trying to bash anyone.
------------------ An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.
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#20
08-14-1999, 03:01 PM
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Well lets see, I think most of these traits are found in women as well, it's just the distribution that's different. there's a whole thread about guys that don't like sports over in great debates, the male doctors and nurses I work with think babies are cool, we can make silly noises with the best of them. I love Bull Durham because of Susan Sarandon, not Costner or baseball. Sometimes I'm late, sometimes not. I follow the nuances of expression just fine thank you very much. Although I'd have to go along with the color and the brown stripe thing, I refuse to concede them as deficits,
Larry
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#22
08-14-1999, 04:35 PM
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I have learned this about men:
That I cannot be sick or in pain without him feeling sickness or pain at the same time. This is not a sympathetic reaction, mind you...it is a ploy for sympathy. And since I am currently pregnant and feeling some sort of illness or pain pretty much all the time, so is he. And whatever he is feeling is worse, of course.
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#23
08-14-1999, 10:14 PM
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There are some men who actually want kids. My boyfriend, for example, loves babies. He babysits for all of his friends who have children. I think it's because he has a younger sister who was born when he was almost 17. I, on the other hand, am completely indifferent to the idea of children. I adore them from the age of about 18 months up, but babies hate me, so I'm somewhat scared of them. Therefore, I don't really know if I want to have one. I could definitely live a full life without kids, but I don't think he could.
What I've learned? Well, when in a relationship with a man, if you really, really want to tell him something that has to do with the relationship or your general emotions regarding it, wait two months. If you're still together, and you still want to say it, chances are that'll be around the time that he's ready to hear it.
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#24
08-14-1999, 10:44 PM
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i know a few women who absolutely do not want to have children. My friend Ann does not like children. She remarked that when she was in Venezuela, the son of her host parents was cute, and he is the only child she really liked, but she still didnt want to have children. I also know a few guys who wanted kids more than their girlfriends. Most of it was because it was a "They're so cute, and they would love me" thing... Oh and i dislike sports (except a live game of soccer), but i agree with the color thing.
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#25
08-14-1999, 11:08 PM
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Here's one you should learn soon.
Men hate it when a woman complains about "all men." For instance, saying "all men talk about sports all the time" is like saying "all women spend all their time in the mall." It's an overgeneralization. Personally, I find most ball sports to be absolutely stupid. If my life depended on naming three football teams and the colors of their uniforms, I'd probably end up dead. ------------------ I'm not a warlock. I'm a witch with a Y chromosome.
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#26
08-14-1999, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Larry
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#28
08-15-1999, 01:05 AM
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Also ladies, here's one for you, and it's a little secret I'll let you in on:
All guys love to have their tummy rubbed. It's not necessarily a sexual thing, but it just feels really good. If you want a keep a man, the trick is, every once in a while, reach up under his shirt and just rub his tummy. He'll be yours for life. And I am never late. I always show up anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes early where ever I am going, just because I hate to make people wait. ------------------ Jason R Remy "One pill makes you taller, and one pill makes you small, but the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all" -- Jefferson Airplane White Rabbit (Slick, G. 1966)
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#29
08-15-1999, 09:57 AM
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Had to comment on the men/babies thing.
When my husband & I first met, we had pretty much made up our minds...no kids. As we got to know each other better, our minds changed, and we decided a kid might not be too bad. When I got pregnant, I was excited, but my husband was GEEKED. I mean, just beside himself with glee. He went to EVERY doctor's appointment with me, and was right there when she was born. Now he's her slave. He also relates well to other kids--or they relate well to him, since he's got that "I'm a musician & never quite grew up" mentality  And since I've got one of my own, I find that I relate better to kids as well.This is just our personal experience though, and is absolutely NOT meant to try & entice others into the world of parenthood. Sure, parenting is fun and I'm glad I changed my mind about it, but it is not for everyone.
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#30
08-15-1999, 09:49 PM
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Quote:
You been reading too many of them John Grey books. Speak for yourself, laddie! (Although you're right about the clothes and shoes ::yawn: .------------------ Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
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#31
08-16-1999, 11:26 PM
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In Shampoo Planet by Douglas Coupland (read it, now, especially if you were born between '68 and '75), the main character has a fling with a self-centered, spoiled control freak. He once asks her to scratch behind his ears, which she refuses to do because "then scratching would become just one more task she would have to execute on a routine basis". How selfish, I thought. When Mr. Rilch and I first drove across the U.S., we got into a routine of having me massage his hands and legs, which were stiff and cramped from driving. Then when we began working on set, this changed to foot massages. After a while, I understood what that girl had meant, but after more time, I was glad of the massage sessions. When he's working 18-hour days, massage time is the only time we have together.
------------------ Remember, I'm pulling for you; we're all in this together. ---Red Green
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#32
08-17-1999, 03:04 PM
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Before I met my husband, I dated men who were 10 - 20 years older than me thinking I wanted a man who was more mature. It took a few years to realize that men who date women who are 10 - 20 years younger than them are not particularly mature.
My husband is 2 months older than me. He's not particularly mature, either, but at least there's still hope. ------------------ "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy
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#33
08-19-1999, 07:56 PM
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When men are not watching sports, they are doing lawn care or driving somewhere. And in the car they still listen to Jethro Tull and Van Halen and Garbage,and the Stones of course, often up to the age 50. I have 5 years to go.
Women pick up on trivial details like "lyrics".
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#34
08-19-1999, 08:08 PM
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Men are just that. Men. Human. And I love them! Some men do weird things that I don't like. Constantly rearranging Mr. Happy in public springs to mind but men do MORE things that I do like. They don't tend to obsess on weight (theirs or others) they tend to be more willing to compromise (I cook, you clean) and I'm sorry, nothing beats a good hard penis. Sorry, it just had to be said! The only thing I learned too late? Sex doesn't equal love to men. Not always. But it doesn't to women either. Okay, I'm all over the map here. I guess I just see more similarities between men and women than differences.
------------------ The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.
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#35
08-19-1999, 08:29 PM
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If a man tells a joke in the forest and there are no women present, is it still funny? BTW, the 'Skins colors are refered to as the "Burgandy and Gold".
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#36
08-20-1999, 09:12 AM
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Yup, the belly rubbing thing is right. My M's greatest pleasure is to wake up in the morning and have me rub his belly for a while. He makes appropriate cute noises whilst I do this, so I like it too!
Another thing I've learned in the past few years. Men like it when their women tells 'em how great they are. Positive comments on his looks, his sexual prowess, and how smart he was when he fixed my motorcycle when it broke down in a tiny town in Wyoming are GREATLY appreciated. Men positively PURR when you do this on a regular basis. 'Course, MY problem is that I refuse to lie about this stuff. If I'm gonna tell him how great he is, he damn well better BE great. It's taken me a while to find a man who lives up to this. But I got him now, and let me tell you, he's one hell of a guy.
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#37
08-20-1999, 10:15 AM
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Hooray, Mike King!
It took my wife a few years to figure this one out, but she finally got it. Guys are (in general) not subtle or deep. If there's something on their minds, they usually express it; if a guy says something, he usually means it; if a guy is trying to be nasty, it's usually pretty explicit. Women see subtexts to everything, because women place subtexts in everything. Once they stop worrying about what a guy is hiding (usually nothing), they and their guys are both much happier. ------------------ Chaim Mattis Keller ckeller@schicktech.com "Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks." -- Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
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#38
08-20-1999, 01:09 PM
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a man stays with a woman for the way she makes him feel about himself.
In other words...you can love him desperately, but if you make him feel like a shit all the time, see ya. I am not totally sure if I agree with that one, it was passed on to me from mom...but what does she know, dad ran on her for 15 years before he found a younger chick and left for good.
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#39
08-20-1999, 09:06 PM
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I'm sorry, Byzantine, I didn't want to do this, I really didn't, but I held back as long as I could. . .
Quote:
(I'm really sorry.) Dr. J
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#40
08-21-1999, 12:30 AM
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Another tip for the ladies:
Men have three categories of responses to any question. 1) Hate it 2) Don't care 3) Love it We only use 1 and 3 5% of the time the other 95% of the time we really don't give a shit. Examples of this include, but are not limited to wallpaper type, paint colors choice, landscaping, flowers, types of foodstuffs, your blue shoes vs. your dark blue shoes, brown lipstick vs. red lipstick, the sundress vs. the blouse and the sweater, the color of the new bedspread you're going to buy.... It's not that we don't have any emotion or preference, it's just that we only voice our opinion when we really love or hate something. Quit trying to get us to commit to shit we don't care about, all we want is the remote control back so we can check the Knicks score. ------------------ The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. George Bernard Shaw
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#41
08-21-1999, 06:57 AM
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Aside from the benefits of men mentioned above, can you list the required duties assigned to men:
-take out the garbage -mow -take care of car repairs -shop for new cars, then buy a compromise model neither one of you really likes -general handyman (I mean in relation to the house) Were you surprised how short the list really is in your case?
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#42
08-21-1999, 07:15 AM
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Quote:
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions
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#43
08-21-1999, 08:15 AM
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Drain Bead informed us:
And the 'Skins are a bit more on the maroon side. And as 647 noted, according to the Redskins, their team colors are Burgandy and Gold. So it's not maroon. It's burgandy. Because they say it is. We don't care what the actual hue is, the team guide says it's burgandy--that's enough. (Maybe "Redskin Burgandy", just happens to be the same shade as maroon.) Like any self-respecting team would intentionally choose maroon--I can see it now, the "maroon morons". Please, these are the mighty 'Skins we're talking about. We're not going to let mere facts get in the way...
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#44
08-21-1999, 09:04 AM
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Only a man would have called that burgandy. It's maroon. Maroon has a more brownish base, while burgandy is somewhat more purple.
To be honest, I always thought that maroon was a more manly shade of red, anyway. I wouldn't look twice at a man wearing maroon, but a man wearing burgandy just looks weird.
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#45
08-21-1999, 09:09 AM
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By the way, you have a pretty loose definition of mighty, don't you?
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#47
08-21-1999, 04:57 PM
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Quote:
------------------ Remember, I'm pulling for you; we're all in this together. ---Red Green
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#49
10-06-2004, 01:17 PM
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Having been a man all my life, I find I can't really tell you anything about us. That's what I would consider a fundamental difference between the sexes, men aren't as self aware, and are less likely to try to understand themselves. We (by which I suppose I really mean I) focus on understanding women. Everything else is taken on faith and instinct. If you play around with a car or a computer long enough you'll inevitably learn how it works, why it breaks and how to fix it. The same doesn't hold true for women. I have "Tinkered" with some women for extended periods of time without gaining any real insight into their innner workings. Maybe thats my fault (it most likely is) but I like to think that it's by design. If we truely understood each other on a basic and fundamental level, there would be no chemistry. The exsistence of the unknown, or even the mere possiblity of unknowns is part of what makes life, and love worth going through. I could never truely love someone who couldn't suprise me. But enough maudlin rehashing of my emotional DMZ, there are other matters at hand.
I am late, pretty much as a rule of thumb, but so are most of the women I know. I occasionally enjoy re-arranging or repainting a room, and while I don't always know the name for a color, I do have an opinion on it, which I galdly voice. I have been known to fashion a window treatment from time to time. I can count on one hand the number of sporting events I've watched, and generally the only reason I go or tune in is for the people I'm with. I want children, and not in the someday sense, in the right now, (if I were in a stable long term realtionship, preferably marriage) sense. I may not know what I'm feeling at any given moment, but I'll gladly express any emotions I can explain, and listen to hers if she wants to express them. While I have no particular affection for Tull or the Stones, I do listen to them on occasion. If I know a song, I know the lyrics and I sing along (not exactly one of my more redeeming qualities). As a slight side note in that vein, I love chickflicks from Moulin Rouge to Breakfast at Tifany's. While I love children, I'll admit to being absolutely horrible about names, to the point where I might not even rememeber a friend's wife's name, let alone the new baby's. I know realize that I have moved from traits of men to my own traits to sounding vaguely like a video dating add. That being said, I think I'll wrap this ramble up. "Men want to be a woman's first love, Women like to be a man's last romance." -Oscar Wilde
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#50
10-06-2004, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
 (While we're here, what's with the invisible poster? Was it someone whose identity the mods erased in a fit of pique? A ghost? Deja vu?)
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