Next Time, Don't Share

[LolaBaby]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...hreadid=118763

As I said, I was sorry you got fired, but people were either sharing their similar experiences, asking what had happened in order to answer the question, and/or giving you sympathy.

Nobody slagged you off, yet you get pissy and whiny...why? I still have no clue.

As I said, I'm sorry you lost your job...I've gotten laid off before too. It's a shitty feeling, but if you don't want the natural inquisitiveness of this board to insert itself into your thread one way or another and you just want pure unadulterated sympathy, I suggest you post at www.crybabies.com

[Koxinga]

When I saw UncleBeer's post at the end of that thread:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let me the hell alone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Done.

at the end of that thread, I was sure I would scroll back up to see that Snooooopy had been banned from the SDMB on top of having been fired.

That would have been terrible.

Absolutely hilarious from a certain poetic standpoint, but terrible nonetheless.

[Caricci]

I was wondering if there would be a Pit thread about this and here it is. I agree with the OP, btw. Don't you suppose Snoooopy could have just stopped reading?

[BoBettie]

You know, not for nothin', but how about cutting the guy some slack? Being fired, especially unexpectedly, is an extremely stressful event.

Let it go. While he got some sympathy, he also got the "could have been worse" kinds of stuff from people who thought the thread title was a joke (and meant no harm). Sounds like some misunderstandings coupled with a lot of stress. No point in poking him any further , is there?

Zette

[Tranquilis]

To be fair, Zette, he did ask if his firing could have been done in a worse manner... I'm sure it was rhetorical, but around here... Well, you know.

[LolaBaby]

No, not really, Zette. As I said before, I don't think anyone was trying to be a jerk, we were just asking why he had gotten fired, most of us did show him sympathy, then he gets into a "I've been fired so I don't have to tell you anything! All I want is fawning all over me! Boo hoo!"

I just found it annoying. I don't go into threads to step on people, and I always like to show support to people when they have gotten the short end of the stick, but when they turn around and act like we're stupid or mean for even asking why he had gotten fired I just smell an ungrateful, self-centered sod. I just can't stand shit like that, that's all. I am not meaning to belittle his loss of a job, just that if he's going to post about it without giving the reason for the loss of the job, surely he knows that someone will eventually ask why.

[MachV]

On top of that, it was actually becoming an interesting thread with people giving testimonials of the bad ways they were fired/laid off. I was gearing up to write about the time I got laid off (while I was on vacation!) only to feel deflated when I got to the end of the thread. Oh, well. Maybe some other time.

[Geobabe]

I understand that he felt shitty about getting fired, but to flip out when people came in to commiserate is just fucking childish.

[Helen's Eidolon]

Ya know what? When I saw that thread, I thought the people posting in it were absolute and complete assholes.

Way to kick a man when he's down.

I'm sure a lot of you didn't mean it in that way, but... harsh, guys. See what happens next time you post wanting sympathy.

[trishdish]

Lolababy, I just read the thread and I totally agree with you.

Even people who tried to bring a little humor to the situation like Zebra, who should gets some extra SDMB points for the Jumbotron reference, were summarily treated to a "close this thread! close this thread!".

Give me a break! I thought misery liked company?

[LolaBaby]

Originally posted by LaurAnge
Ya know what? When I saw that thread, I thought the people posting in it were absolute and complete assholes.

Way to kick a man when he's down.

I'm sure a lot of you didn't mean it in that way, but... harsh, guys. See what happens next time you post wanting sympathy.

Who did you think was being a complete asshole?

Well, the first two posters could have been a little nicer, but...I thought about it, and Enright3 had a point. I made a point that I was sorry he had lost his job, but restated Enright3's question. I think it's fair enough.

I'm not saying he did any of these examples, but what if a person who had gotten fired was fired because of embezzling from the company, sleeping with the boss' wife/husband/16 year-old daughter, assaulting a customer, sharing company secrets, etc.? I surely would not extend any sympathy in those cases. I didn't ask to be nosy or anything (well, okay, a little ), but I would like to hear the whole story, you know? Then he acted as if we were all laughing at him. Which, as I understood, no one was.

Kind of like me posting "I'm sad, my boyfriend left me" and not saying that the reason he left me is because he's married and has three kids, I smashed his car, tried to beat up his wife, stole things from his house to support my raging drug habit and I kicked his dog.

[Helen's Eidolon]

Originally posted by LolaBaby


Who did you think was being a complete asshole?

Um, the people posting in the thread.

Kind of like me posting "I'm sad, my boyfriend left me" and not saying that the reason he left me is because he's married and has three kids, I smashed his car, tried to beat up his wife, stole things from his house to support my raging drug habit and I kicked his dog.

You're assuming the worst here. And, for heaven's sake, so what if he did deserve to get fired? Does it really matter to you? He went to MPSIMS (not the Pit) looking for sympathy at the crappy way he got canned, and he found nasty comments as well as aspersions cast on his work and moral ethics.

[LolaCocaCola]

A quote by Snoooopy:

Jesus Christ.

Those who feel I got off easy have MADE THEIR FUCKING POINT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, DIG? I GET IT!!!! I REALLY GET IT NOW!!!! JUST STOP, WOULD YOU?

DOES ANYBODY HERE UNDERSTAND WHAT A FUCKING RHETORICAL QUESTION IS?!?!!!!?!!!?!!!!

Gee, wonder if your attitude had anything to do with your canning?

I'm jes' saying.

[Drastic]

Yes, THIS is definitely worth people raising their blood pressures at each other.

I applaud you all for your firm grasp on what matters.

[LolaCocaCola]

Whatever, Snooopy.

[Drastic]

Some people just don't like applause, I suppose.

Fickle, fickle people.

[BoBettie]

Look, I don't even know the guy- I'm just saying that people get a little irrational under stress, that's all. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and flame away. I'm just saying it obviously really bothered him in a big, crazy way and maybe it should just be one of those :: shrug :: "Huh. Wonder what's up his ass?" sorta things.

Whatever- carry on then.

Zette

[LolaBaby]

Originally posted by LaurAnge
Um, the people posting in the thread.


You're assuming the worst here. And, for heaven's sake, so what if he did deserve to get fired? Does it really matter to you? He went to MPSIMS (not the Pit) looking for sympathy at the crappy way he got canned, and he found nasty comments as well as aspersions cast on his work and moral ethics.

Ok, let's see,
waterj2:

I've heard that at Intel, at the fabrication plants, when they do layoffs, one thing that they've done is take everyone out to a movie, decide who's getting laid off while they're gone, and don't let the people who were laid off back in the plant. I think one of the reasons for this is so that disgruntled employees can't take anything with them that would compromise Intel's trade secrets.

LolaCocaCola:

Not that uncommon to be asked to leave immediately after getting fired. A disgruntled ex-employee can do a lot of damage in a short period of time. Particularly if computer files are involved.

istara:

How awful. All sympathies. What would it have cost him to get someone to watch over you while you retrieved any personal items from your desk?

I'm due for the chop soon - I'll let you know if they afford me similar disrepect.

Purd Werfect:

I'm really sorry that you got fired. I've been fired before, and it sucks even if you were considering doing something else. I hope you find something you like soon.

Yeah, that's really mean and assholish.
I still don't see any straight-out assholes. You want to cast a net over everyone...I don't think the people above would appreciate that. You want to say asshole, name names.

Does it matter? No, not in the way Drastic put it, cause at the end of the day I don't know him. But it does matter in that I don't particularly care for trying to support and/or console somebody if they aren't forthcoming.

I did not cast any doubt on his morality or work ethic, we just asked why. My example up there is not meant to mean him, if you did not understand what I wrote.

He then gets all pissy about it, so it makes me wonder why he won't say.

[LolaBaby]

Ya know, Drastic and Zette are right.

It's just that I don't appreciate trying to help out then having the person get all pissy. It smells of...self-centeredness and ingratitude. Kind of like when you post to help someone out then never get a reply knowing whether or not you helped or you didn't. It's just a pet peeve of mine as evidenced in this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...hreadid=116160

LaurAnge, if you want to extend sympathy to every Joe Shmo who posts here crying, be my guest. I just don't like to do it, when for all I know, the misfortune could have been caused by their own doing.

[Helen's Eidolon]

You were right, not everyone was an asshole. As a matter of fact, most weren't.

And yes, aspersions were cast on his ethics. Suggesting that the reason he was fired in such a crappy way stemmed from the reason he got fired (ie, he deserved it) was mean.

I don't see any reason to doubt or mock someone with no good reason. If you don't want to be nice to random people, it's your prerogative. I, however, choose to give people the benefit of the doubt. People on this board sometimes tend to be mean for no good reason, and I hate that.

[Snooooopy]

Well, I guess I should thank LolaBaby for launching the very first Pit thread about me. The fact that some people are insensitive bastards isn't going to stop me from sharing, though. How is it that a guy like, Purd Werfect had enough sense to say the right thing and so many other people didn't?

I should also thank you because, looking back, you indeed were the first person to express a shred of sympathy. The other respondents before you were MUCH too busy racing to be the first to tell the newly fired guy how little his problems mattered.

To Caricci: I would have simply stopped reading, except I had marked the "e-mail notification" option. I really wasn't looking forward to yet another "You've Got Mail" from someone telling me why my firing was such a walk in the park.

To Tranquilis: What do you mean, you're "sure" it was rhetorical. Was it after the first time I pointed out it was rhetorical, or the second time?

To trishdish: I thought that Zebra's post was funny as well. I'll go apologize to that poster if you think I gave off the wrong impression.

To LolaCocaCola: "Whatever" right back at you. Bitch.

[LolaBaby]

I don't think Enright3 meant it to be mean. I could be wrong, but I just think it was without tact. I agreed that it could have been worded better or have a little "note" of sympathy (as I tried to do).

I agree that there are a lot of people on the Net who want to be mean, because they can. They're hidden behind a screen, and sometimes people don't realize the way they say something or what they say or sometimes, what they don't say, can hurt somebody.

I was just taken aback by his behavior.

Scene: sunny day, outside.

LolaBaby is sitting on curb, holding her broken knee. She has been hit by a car because she ran out in heavy traffic without looking.

LaurAnge comes along, not knowing what happened but immediately tries to aid LolaBaby. "what happened?" LaurAnge asks.

"Get the fuck away from me!" LolaBaby snarls.


Okay, so I'll never write screenplays, but that's just the way I see this.

[LolaBaby]

...and preview would be good.

Look Snooopy, whatever, you don't have to tell us why, it doesn't matter anyhow anyway. Again, I'm sorry you lost your job, but I was just annoyed at the attitude in the latter part of the thread.

Hope you get back on your feet soon.

[Snooooopy]

The SDMB is full of smart posters. As such, I believe that smart posters should be able to recognize a sympathy thread -- EVEN if the title is a rhetorical question -- and either be sympathetic or stay the hell out.

[LolaCocaCola]

Snooopy, postal much?

[tevya]

Ack! Don't click on the crybaby link posted in the OP unless you want 40 zillion pop up ads on your screen. I figured it was probably a fake link but couldn't keep from clicking on it.

Stupid curiousity! It's gonna get me killed some day.

On the OP, some people were funny, some were nice, some were mean, some were flippant. Losing a job is very sucky and stressfull. It looks like Snooooopy was (understandably IMHO) quite sensitive about things and didn't react well to posts that implied he did something wrong or that things could have been worse.

The title was not immediately evident as a rhetorical question (to me anyway, though I may be dense). If there's one thing that you can count on about the SDMB it's : ask a question - get an answer. It may not be one you want / need / expect to hear but it will get answered.

I say give him the benefit of the doubt and cut him some slack. It doesn't really cost you anything and could help someone who is having a genuinely shitty day.

[Kamandi]

I still wanna know why he was fired.

C'mon, Snoooooopy, spill.

[Geobabe]

Snooooopy, if you had even just said, "Hey, guys, I wasn't really looking for answers to my question. I'm upset, can y'all just take it easy on me?" I think you would have gotten a much different response. I think the people who posted weren't trying to rub it in or tell you that you deserved it somehow, they were just asking for more information, or trying to help you feel better by giving you worse examples, and you threw a tantrum in response. I understand that getting fired is shitty; it's happened to me before, and yes, it's very upsetting. But try to act like an adult and give other people the benefit of the doubt, like you would want them to give you.

[Snooooopy]

Originally posted by LolaCocaCola
Snooopy, postal much?

Insensitive bitches have a way of getting on my nerves.

Why don't you roll those eyes again for me? Makes your posts SOOOO much more interesting.

[LolaCocaCola]

Now I see why your employer let you go.

Must be all that charm you exude.

Oh, and...

Just cuz you asked for it...

Here it comes!

Ya ready?

[Snooooopy]

I feel warm and fuzzy all over.

[Helen's Eidolon]

LolaBaby, I think I overreacted in here, too. I'm sorry if I've offended you at any point. I didn't see it the same way you did; I saw Snoooopy's getting mad justifiable 'cause he was under a lot of stress and 'cause, let's face it, even beside the asking him what it was for, there were some damn snarky answers.

[obfusciatrist]

All I see in that thread, for the most part, is people showing you that of all the things that sucked about getting fired, the manner in which you were fired wasn't personal at all. It was SOP, therefore not really something worth worrying over. It wasn't a statement about you, you woud have had the same treatment whehter you were the greatest guy in the world or the greatest shithead.

That said, I stand by my oft-stated position that sympathy threads on a large message board are stupid an inane. The best you could have hoped for were empty platitudes from people you barely know. Here are some examples:

1. "That sucks, Snooop! It is there loss, I am sure you were the best whatever in the world."

2. "Wow, terrible, as far as I can tell you are the nicest, most competent person they are likely to ever find for your position. They must be real shitheads without any possible reason for what they've done."

3. "Wow, you must be hurting. You can always cry on my shoulder. Well, you could, but I don't give my phone number or AIM name to people I don't know well."

When you posted the same thing to your LiveJournal, a much smaller audience that is much more aware and involved with you personally, you got much more of the resposne you were apparently hoping for.

Though not from me, I apparently gave you what you got in that other thread. But then, for all I know you deserved to get fired and it is amazing that you kept the job as long as you did. I don't really know you that well.

[Snooooopy]

Originally posted by Kamandi
I still wanna know why he was fired.

C'mon, Snoooooopy, spill.

Well, I embezzled $10 gazillion dollars, sold the children of the advertising staff for medical experiments, framed the news editor for the Kennedy assassination and threw buckets of vomit on all the computers.

But that didn't get me fired.

I grabbed someone else's tuna fish sandwich out of the refrigerator. THAT's what got me fired.

[LolaCocaCola]

Well, it was my LUNCH, dammit!

[Cat Whisperer]

Right on, obfusciatrist. snooopy's thread was just starting to get interesting when it got locked down. Anyone started a "Worst way to get fired" thread yet? Cause I got a good story, too.

[Guinastasia]

I grabbed someone else's tuna fish sandwich out of the refrigerator. THAT's what got me fired.

Well, that DEFINITELY explains why you were fired the way you were.





Come on, it's a JOKE! Laugh? See? Haw Haw Haw!

[Snooooopy]

Well, obfus, empty platitudes are sometimes just the ticket.

Your entry in my LJ didn't bother me a bit. Why? Because you mixed in some understanding. There's light-years of difference between "Wow, that sucks. But it's not unusual ... " and just "Look, dude, I've seen a LOT worse."

[Snooooopy]

ARRGH!!!!!

I've been paying so much attention to this thread that I missed the opening third of that episode of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" where her mom dies. Always wanted to see that.

You're ALL GOING TO PAY!!!!!

Well, OK, not really.

[Helen's Eidolon]

I have it on tape! I think you're a bit far to come over and watch it, though...

[Cat Whisperer]

I just watched it - it made me cry, as usual (stupid show). Hey, you're unemployed - maybe you should take a roadtrip to Montréal!

[Miller]

I feel warm and fuzzy all over.

I've met you in person, and know that to be a blatant lie. I think you were fired cuz the light reflecting off that shaven scalp of yours was distracting your co-workers. Which is really cold. They've got a lot of money; they coulda sprung for a hat.

Anyway, what did you expect to happen, considering you've confessed to using handgrenades at little league games. Let's just play the game the way it was supposed to be played: with small arms fire only.

Seriously, though. Getting fired sucks. Look at it this way: things could be worse. You could still work there.

I'd give you a virtual hug, but I think you've already suffered enough. Hope you find a new job soon, but not too soon.

[LolaBaby]

Originally posted by LaurAnge
LolaBaby, I think I overreacted in here, too. I'm sorry if I've offended you at any point. I didn't see it the same way you did; I saw Snoooopy's getting mad justifiable 'cause he was under a lot of stress and 'cause, let's face it, even beside the asking him what it was for, there were some damn snarky answers.

No, no. No need to apologize. I wasn't offended.

I just feel that there are times where, you know, sometimes the person doesn't want to take personal responsibility for something that they could have easily prevented themselves. Most times, I won't feel sorry for them if it's something they shouldn't have been doing anyway. That's why I wanted to know.

Examples:

Person A's child dies due to incurable illness. They are sad. Sympathy for A? Of course!

Person A's child dies due to A driving drunk and they get into an accident. Sympathy for A? Yes! Still tragic, and in my mind,
I may think "Stupid A!" but I would never say it, for I'm sure A already knows this.

Person A's child dies due to A's constant neglect and daily beatings. Sympathy for A? Screw that.

Person B gets fired from job because she is pregnant (true story) or due to company not doing well.
Sympathy? Yep.

Person B gets fired from job because they just can't quite "get it," and has low productivity. Sympathy? Yep, plus a little "well, maybe you'll find your calling one day, everyone has something they're good at, blah blah blah." IOW, their fault in a way, but it isn't something they can really help.

Person B gets fired from job because they are late every freakin' day. Everyone else has to cover for them during the time they are late. Sympathy? Pffft, I don't think so.

Person B gets fired from job because he got caught doing the horizontal bop with boss' SO. Sympathy? AHAHAHAHA!

Remember this is just what my reactions may possibly be. YMMV.

Snooopy, if that is seriously what got you fired, then I think you ought to be glad you don't work there. However,
it seems trivial enough where you might question if that is the real reason they are giving you (unless you had been warned 385637 times not to take other peoples' tuna sandwiches).

tevya: Sorry 'bout that!

Please forgive me for my wild imagination and hyperbole.

[Wikkit]

Here you go. Submit your bad ways to get fired, or bad ways you've been fired. Fire away.

[Purd Werfect]

Where does "deserve" come into it? I've been fired both deservedly and unfairly, and either way, it still fucking hurt. For better or worse, most folks invest a lot of themselves in their jobs. It's where most of us spend most of our waking, (though in my case, some sleeping), hours. Tomorrow may look completely different, but today looks ugly. I'd be quite surprised if anyone here hasn't been in a similar position. I'm really surprised to see this pitted.

[istara]

Fucking hell. The guy loses a job, he's upset.

He posts a thread - some reaction is a bit negative - either way, he's more upset.

He asks for the thread to be closed.

What he does not deserve - or want - is a load of fucking over-reactive assholes flaming him in the Pit about it.

For fuck's sake - HE LOST HIS JOB!!!

I'm sure I'd be far worse than "pissy and whiny" if I'd lost my job. And frankly - the OP is the biggest piece of pissy whiny SHIT I've seen so far on both these threads, and they haven't even lost their job.

Snooooopy - all support to you.

God - cut the poor guy some slack and give him some support.

[imthjckaz]

For those inquisitive minds that want to know, maybe this can shed some light.

I am also suprised that someone felt this was Pit worthy.

Lolababy, next time you want to Pit somebody, Don't share.

[LolaBaby]

Originally posted by imthjckaz
For those inquisitive minds that want to know, maybe this can shed some light.

I am also suprised that someone felt this was Pit worthy.

Lolababy, next time you want to Pit somebody, Don't share.

Hey, thanks for posting the link...that was all I really wanted. It would have shed a lot of light into the situation. The rest of us who went in and who wanted to lend some sympathy, we were not privvy to this information. I would have gladly given sympathy and advice and/or whatever.

Anyway Snoooopy, good luck again and I left you a note.

[Snooooopy]

Allow me to recognize LaurAnge for being a goddess.

You rule!

[Tranquilis]

Originally posted by Snooooopy
To Tranquilis: What do you mean, you're "sure" it was rhetorical. Was it after the first time I pointed out it was rhetorical, or the second time?

Does it matter?

Around here, unless you specifically state that you're not looking for feed-back, you will get some, rhetorical question or not. Even if you don't want feed back, you'll probably get some. If it's too sensative, don't post. Or at least state the kind of feed-back you are looking for.

JFTR: I got it the first time.

I still would've posted my horror story, if I had one.