Last night I dreamed I was auditioning for a high school play version of Star Wars Ep 4, specifically for the role of Darth Vader. I was worried that I wouldn’t get the part due to being a girl.
When I walked into the gym the auditions were being held in, I noticed that everyone who was waiting around for the audition, all trying to get different parts, were the people from Beloit (the college I recently transferred from) who I was expected to get along with but inexplicably didn’t like.
Well, that was bizarre. Anyone got any ideas as to what’s going on in my brain?
You like to be in authority, but you don’t want people to know that you’re in control. You’d like to wear a mask and order people around. If you can be chosen by your peers for this leadership, it means that they’re admitting that you are obviously better than they are.
Of course, don’t take my word for it. I’m half sleep-starved myself from studying. And what I know about “official” psychology can be written on a grain of rice, with room to spare for the Koran.
My theory–the worry about getting the part represents an anxiety about being inadequate in some area of your life, and having that inadequacy be out of your control (your gender). Seeing your ex-classmates in the same position shows the clash in your attitude about the anxiety–on one hand it’s a reassurance (everyone else has problems too) but it’s also a complication (I have to compete in life with schmucks like these?)
Your inner desire is to be a male. The lightsabre is a traditionally male weapon with the obvious reference to the male genitalia.
You are attempting to be DV, because on the outside you pretend to me female, whereas you wish to be male. Remember that DV is a totally different person on the inside to the outside. Don’t be fooled by the position that DV was a male. Where was he ever put forward as a male on the outside. Trust me on this.
all trying to get different parts. Again, you refer to the obvious difference between the female that you are and the male that you wish to become.
** but inexplicably didn’t like. **. Again with the male dominance vs. the female subservience of your inner psyche.
To wit, you should stop delaying the appointment with your sex change therapist and go straight to the surgeon. The sooner the better.
You secretly wish to have the voice of a fat, black actor while still maintaining a degree of anonymity and while holding onto elements from your past. The anonymity would allow you to freely despise whomever you wished, regardless of other peoples’ preconceived notions.
Either that, or you hate your mother and secrety wish to have sex with Yoda.
Oh, I see our hour is up. Make another appointment with the girl outside. She’ll validate your parking for you.
I was worried that I wouldn’t get the part due to being a girl.
[sup]I have no idea where that came from[/sup]