[sub]This is a game I learned from UNH’s improv group, Theatersports, though it might not have orginated with them. And, since we are writing posts, instead of talking, it’ll have to be a varation since it was orginally a speech.[/sub]
Picture this: You realize, at the last moment, that you are required to write a short essay on a given topic. ** You know nothing about the topic** so you have to wing it, and come up with a reasonable response anyway.
So, to play this game you need only write a paragraph or so on the given topic, but your response can’t actually have anything to do with the real topic. Once you’re done, give the next topic for someone to tackle.
For example, let’s say I got the topic “the great depression.” So my essay might read:
When I was fifteen, I got really depressed because my dog was run over by a steam roller. I mean, had that dog forever, so I couldn’t believe he was gone, and cried my eyes about it all the time. This cloud did have a silver lining, though, because one day when I was crying I ran into this cute guy whom I had a crush on. He spent the entire day cheering me up, which was pretty great of him. Too bad we broke up three months later when he slept with my best friend.
The O-Zone layer is the top layer of an Oreo cookie cake. The bottom layer is white, then chocolate frosting, then a chocolate layer, then white frosting with Oreo halves laid throughout for a constrasting color effect. This is not as bad for the environment as most scientists want us to believe. It is bad for those on a diet.
Note: this is not a real recipe but it does sound yummy.
Why Dinosaurs Became Extinct
The Dinosaurs, my schools basketball team, had finally made it to the championship game. By the half, they were down by 15 points, and had lost all hope. The team didn’t believe in itself anymore. They went on to that court with no confidence, and let the other team run up the score. It was embarrassing, and they never played basketball again, because the next day an asteroid slammed into the gymnasium…
Mount Everest
Back when I was 15, and still a virgin, there was this older women named Everest. She was quite the loose lady and would often give young boys a thrill. I wanted to lose my virginity very badly and I went up to her and laid on the sweet talk. After paying her 50 dollars I became a man. This is how I was able to Mount Everest.
I just want to say that I taught college composition for eight years,and I don’t think I’ll open this thread again because it hits a little too close to home.
Captain Hook-brand rum demonstrates a true triumph in integrated marketing and advertising. Its unique approach to brand identity and promotion has lead to one of the highest rates of brand-recognition among consumers in recent history. Captain Hook, with its catchy tagline, “The Hook Was Here,” has splashed its image across billboards and magazine pages throughout North America. The real “hook” is that every ad, every billboard and every delivery truck features fun-loving, attractive young people with moustaches, eye-patches and parrots colorfully doodled over them, graffitti-style. Now that’s a real advertising treasure! Yes, Captain Hook’s irreverent piracy is sure to be remembered in the annals of advertising, not to mention the consumer’s mind, for decades.
The Inquisition was, like, a totally awesome game show. I think it showed on either CBS or Fox. One time the host, you know, the guy with the microphone and hair, asked one of the contestants a question, and he totally got it. I was, like, OMG, did you see that? I didn’t totally get the concept of the show until, like, then. My parents were so proud of me. They said, “Dude! The game is about being questioned. It’s kinda like Jeopardy but without all the snooty smart people.” I was like, “NO WAY!” and they were like, “Way!” I learned a lot from that game show.
Some younger kids call their mothers “mummy” however i find that this makes you look in mature and so i call my mother “mom” but sometimes poeple forget so they say “mommy” which is also child ish. But however this is not to say that a mother is a bad thing since they are kind to us and they buy things for us and of course the one thing they have in common is that without them after all. Where would we be?
Mummies. When a man and a woman really love eachother, sometimes they give eachother a special hug. Some time after that, a baby is born. The woman has then become a mummie. She feeds her baby, takes him to the park, clothes him, and goes to baby gymnastics classes. Oh, what it takes to be a mummy.
Renaissance was a very underappreciated music groups. I really loved their melding of rock and baroque classical music, even stranger because the leader was best known for playing blues. Their album was a true gem. Unfortunately, the group broke up and the name devolved to Annie Halsam and their lame folk rock.
In my freshman biology lab, we had to dissect sheep lungs. It was a little gross. Well, it was a lot gross. At the end of the lab, we were all supposed to dispose of our lungs (not the ones in our bodies; the ones we’d dissected) in a red biohazard bag. Everybody did, except this one guy, Blarg Fliegerfender, who was a little bit of a cut up (ha, ha, dissection joke!). Blarg hid his lung in his backpack and took it home with him.
Blarg happened to work in the University Dining Hall deli. A week after the lung lab, April Fool’s day rolled around, and he thought it would be a great April Fool’s joke to slice up his old, formaldehyde preserved sheep lung and serve it in the deli sandwiches. It was actually a really bad idea, as it turned out, because of the 11 people who (unbeknownst to them) were served lung in their sandwiches, four died, and six were hospitalized. The only joke victim who showed no signs of this lung disease was Greb McGlobrum, who was well known for having eaten a hubcap once, on principle.
The Civil War was when they had this, you know, war, cept everybody was real polite about it. Instead of shooting or nuking each other’s countries and such, they just stood around and slapped each other on the cheek (face, not the other kind) with white gloves and said stuff like “You, Sir, (or Madame) are a cur!” And sometimes somebody would slap a face kinda hard with the white glove and the person who got his or her face slapped kinda hard would say, “Ow! That hurt!” Then the person who did the slapping would say, like, “Oopsie! Sorry. Didn’t mean to hit that hard,” 'cause the war was all civil and stuff.
The Great Fire of London, of course, was built by little Sammy London for his Boy Scout “Build a really good fire” merit badge. He spent weeks gathering the best kindling he could find, splitting logs with an exacto knife, stacking it perfectly (even resorting to gluing some of the smaller twigs in place), and searching out the perfect sticks to rub together to get the whole shebang lit up.
Once he got his great fire going, everyone - his parents, scout master, teachers, fellow scouts - all gathered around with their marshmallows and hot dogs, and exclaimed “what a great fire!”.
Sammy, of course, failed to get his merit badge, since he was supposed to build a “really good” fire, NOT a “great” fire. Drove the poor kid into a dismal depression, which he never really recovered from. He was last seen meditating in a buddhist lamasery in Tibet.
The World Series is a very important characteristic of the solar system.
Mercury, the liquid metal one, comes first. The metal is liquid because it is so close to the sun. The next one is Venus, which they say is really pretty, but it will eat the skin off your face. Venus is also named after the Greek goddess that doesn’t have any arms. The next one is the Earth. Since we all live on the Earth, I don’t need to tell you about it.
The next one is Mars. A lot of people think there are aliens on Mars, but aliens really come from outer space. The next one is Jupiter. Jupiter is really big. The next one is Saturn. Saturn has a really big disk around it. If it touched the Earth, it would cut the Earth in half. The next one is Neptune. As its name suggests, Neptune is completely underwater. The next one is…um…I don’t think I’m allowed to say the name, because it’s really dirty. The next one is Pluto. A lot of people think Pluto was named after Mickey’s dog, but we all know that’s really Goofy.
The World Series is very important, because if it was different, the Earth might crash into the sun.
The World Series is a very important characteristic of the solar system.
Mercury, the liquid metal one, comes first. The metal is liquid because it is so close to the sun. The next one is Venus, which they say is really pretty, but it will eat the skin off your face. Venus is also named after the Greek goddess that doesn’t have any arms. The next one is the Earth. Since we all live on the Earth, I don’t need to tell you about it.
The next one is Mars. A lot of people think there are aliens on Mars, but aliens really come from outer space. The next one is Jupiter. Jupiter is really big. The next one is Saturn. Saturn has a really big disk around it. If it touched the Earth, it would cut the Earth in half. The next one is Neptune. As its name suggests, Neptune is completely underwater. The next one is…um…I don’t think I’m allowed to say the name, because it’s really dirty. The next one is Pluto. A lot of people think Pluto was named after Mickey’s dog, but we all know that’s really Goofy.
Next topic: The Bermuda Triangle
The World Series is very important, because if it was different, the Earth might crash into the sun.
Oooh, this looks like good practice for my PhD exams…
The Bermuda Triangle is a very very very very very very very important topic. It has three corners, which is why it is called a triangle. Some hats also have three corners. I don’t think Bermuda shorts look good on old guys. It’s even worse if they are also wearing a three-cornered hat. So basically, the Bermuda Triangle means being a fashion victim. Some other kinds of clothes I don’t like are: skorts, tuxedos, ones from K-Mart, high heels, and underwear. I’m not wearing any underwear right now because it makes me itch. I hope my teacher gives me a good grade on my essay about the Bermuda Triangle, because I think I can make it worth his while, if you know what i mean.
