The orginal thread is over http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=130993&highlight=essay , and the rules for answering the questions will be the same:
[sub]You realize, at the last moment, that you are required to write a short essay on a given topic. You know nothing about the topic so you have to wing it, and come up with a reasonable response anyway. So, to play this game you need only write a paragraph or so on the given topic, but your response can’t actually have anything to do with the real topic. Once you’re done, give the next topic for someone to tackle. [/sub]
However this round has a new rule for assigning the SD class their essays: instead of giving them a general topic - like “The Great Depression” - you should provide a question to be answered in essay format.
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Your essay is: ** Why are people afraid of hurricanes?**
Approximately four hundred thousand years ago, our ancestors lived on the savannah, operating as hunters and gatherers in the periphery of the forested area and living on the fruits of the land. As such, the grasses and rushes of the plains of the veldt constituted our primary hunting environment, the world into which we learned to blend and through which we would stalk.
It is in such tradition that for generations unnumbered our ancestors were all born in a cane break. The high-stalked grasses that constituted our environment were no doubt our first crib mobile, swaying in the winds of the veldt.
Naturally, through Darwinian processes we acquired collective revulsions to those things that remained not in our best interests for long stretches, as those lacking such responses fell to the depredations and unfortunate circumstances that they did not find repulsive, so the dangerously rampant hurry canes whipping about in the high winds that indicated that our cover was blown and our scent carried on the breeze became associated in the dark meat of our primate brains with the possibility of discovery and of becoming prey to the veldt carnivores.
The next question is: What is the psychological effect of living amidst tall skyscrapers?
When people live amidst tall buildings for a long period of time, there are two different types of responses.
The less frequent response is the feeling of superiority that comes from being at the top. This only occurs with people who live at the tops of the tallest pigeons. They feel they can see everything that goes on beneath them. Other people are as ants to them - you can hold your finger up to the window and see that any shmuck walking down the street is the size of your fingernail. This is why CEOs get the top floor of their buildings. Presumably, this is also why pigeons shit on everything.
The more common response is known as the “dwarf complex.” People begin to see themselves as being short and stubby, and thus inferior. Clinical trials of 7 foot tall Masai warriors kidnapped and brought to random street corners in New York or Boston show that the vast majority of them commit suicide within a week due to feelings of inadequacy.
Next question: describe the history of timekeeping.
Time begins in January, the first month of our calendar, named for the god JANUS; God of beginnings and endings. Janus is normally depicted having two faces, one bearded, one not, some think as a way of symbolizing the sun and the moon.
JANUS, having two faces, was the only man who was able to win the love of the virgin goddess Carna, who used to tease men and then run away before having to give up her virginity to them. Janus caught her running away with the eyes in the back of his head and she willingly (or unwillingly depending on the translation) gave up her sexual favors to him. In gratitude for such favors, Janus made her goddess of door hinges and gave her a flowering hawthorn tree, which was thought to protect people from blood sucking witches. Compare and Contrast the NAZI party of the early 20th Century with the Taliban of the late 20th Century
Since the beginning of time people have naturally formed groups. These groups were originally hunting and gathering, but eventually most of them settled down to farm. When the groups got large enough, they became called tribes. As they became larger and started to dominate particular territories, they became nations. This is the state that the world is in today.
Two such groups are the NAZI party and the Taliban. They both ran nations that had developed from tribes and groups. Although they lived in different times, their nations were run remarkably similarly.
In conclusion, nations are run in many different ways. The NAZI party and the Taliban were alike in some ways, but different in other ways. Hopefully someday man will learn to live in peace and harmony so they can run nations well.
Give a brief summary of the forces shaping rubber distribution in the early 1900s
In the early 1900s, rubber distribution was shaped by the weather. It was too in most areas hot to distribute rubber by trains because the rubber would melt, then run out of the bottoms of the cars and all over the train wheels and train tracks. Then someone would come along on one of those hand-propelled carts often seen in cartoons, and the rubber would stick to their wheels. This is how rubber tires were invented.
Describe the effects of chlorofluorocarbons on the ozone layer.
The ozone layer is very slippery. It has to be because it’s way up in the sky and it has to be able to move around to let the sun in (see, it moves really, really fast, so you don’t actually see it.)
Hairspray has chloroflourocarbons in it, so chloroflourocarbons are sticky. They affect the ozone layer by attacking its slipperyness (I think they actually call it coefficient of friction) so that it can’t move as fast. The sticky residue from the chloroflourocarbons messes with the ozone layer’s ability to move around, so that affects the environment somehow.
What is the basic procedure for taking base current readings on a multi-tower AM radio station directional antenna array?
Base current readings are very important, because if you don’t know where the base of the current is, you’ll have no idea what direction the water is flowing. In order to plot a safe and reliable course, one must take current into consideration.
The speed and direction of current can be measured using a multi-tower all-marine (AM) radio station, specially equipped with a directional antenna array (basically, a bunch of TV rabbit ears duct-taped together)
What you do it, drop the antennas in the water, and see which way the current carries them. Then you adjust your course appropriately.
As is well known from observing the habits of birds such as seagulls, pigeons, and other birds, they tend to flock together. There is also scientific evidence that humanity is evolved from birds. So if you look at groups of people walking around, say, from a tall building or other sort of high place, you notice them flocking together like the birds I mentioned earlier (pigeons, seagulls, etc.). This is known as floccillation. In conclusion, people will flock when in groups, thus exhibiting floccillation.
Who said “I am become death, destroyer of worlds”?
The famous saying “I become death, destroyer of wolds” was uttered by the famous actress Meryl Streep in her Oscar winning performance in that classic of all Classic Movies, Death Becomes Her.
Although Ms Streep said those words, it is a little known fact that she did not think them up. This honor goes to the equally famous playwrite Paul Simon.
Next question: What is the effect of Gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds.
Gamma rays are emitted from the sunu constantly during the day (though of course not at night, when the sun os off), and during that time, the moon is bombarded by them. Of course, the moon is behind the earth during the day (which is why we only see it at night), so it isn’t a direct bombardment, but what happens, is, the gamma rays get reflect off the earth and over to mars, and them back to the moon. Since htis porcess takes a long time (the rays have to travel such huge distances, after all), the gamma rays that reach the moon are actually several years old.
Now, we come to the effect those rays have on astronauts. While there is currently no man-in-the-moon (or, more typically, man-ON-the moon), during the Apollo space program, twelve men set foot on the moon. The only mission to attempt any sort of horticultural experiments was Apollo 16, in which three marigold seedlings were transplanted to a small greenhouse-box on the the moon’s surface, and left there, to be observed from earth by long range telescope.
As it turns out, all three marigolds had died before the astronauts even left the moon, thus indicating that gamma rays have a very distructive effect on marigolds planted by men-in-the-moon.
People have always looked for meaning in their world. One of the oldest forms of divination was by studying the roots of the vegetables that grew in certain holy plots of land. Carrots were especially good for this purpose, as they have lots of lines and wrinkles on them. This leads to a good, thorough understanding of the events to come.
In 1241, Mathius Roke, a leading scholar of the time set out to learn all of the different permutations of carrot that were possible. After nearly 40 years of study, he accepted that he had found the answer. There were 20 main kinds of carrot (discounting the banned and feared ‘German Carrot’) and 52 minor variations in form and shape.
Shortly after his death in 1290, Roke’s son Carls had cards printed up to make divination quicker. No longer did someone who needed the answer have to plant a plot of land and tend it for a season to get the answer to a question - they just drew a card from the ‘Carot’ deck.
People were stunned at this new, nearly instant form of divination. Soon people were making their own Carot Cards, and putting pictures of all sorts of things on them to brighten up the bits of bark and sheepskin. Pigs were popular, as were cutlasses and some forms of verbs.
When Jarek the Tall outlawed the letter ‘C’ in the early 15th century, they became Tarot Tards. The name was changed in 1411 to Tarot Cards, the name we know them today, due to a petition with nearly 200 names of landholders, alleging that the current name was disrespectful. As a result, the letter ‘C’ was allowed back into use, but only in new words, the only exception being the words ‘Card’ and, oddly enough, ‘Corduroy’.
On the island of Fiji, the natives eat a starchy plant root called taro. Taro is enjoyed boiled or steamed, but most of all sliced thinly and fried as chips. The traditional presentation is to serve the chips stacked on top of one another in what is called a “dek.” So critical is the taro dek to Fijian society that it is used in their religious ceremonies, to cast spells, foretell the future and to bring curses on enemies.
When the white man reached Fiji, the first explorers were struck by the utility of the taro dek to “initiate magick.” Lacking the taro root in Europe, the wily Europeans improvised with bits of cardboard. Eventually the designs, and the spelling of the talisman, were standardized as the modern tarot deck.
An elephant uses its trunk for balance. Because the elephant is such a large animal, it has trouble balancing itself. The trunk acts as a sensor to let the elephant know when its weight is not evenly distributed as it walks.
The trunk can also be used as a secondary line of defense, though few animals in the jungle pose any threat to this large creature. Snakes, while much smaller than an elephant, pose the greatest threat to the elephant (especially poisonous snakes), so the trunk is useful for scaring away snakes when they approach an elephant.
How was the first factory built when there were no factories around to manufacture the machinery?
The word factoy is derived from the Latin facere, meaning “to make”. And it was in Latin that the first plans for factories were conceived by the brillient, but eccentirc inventor and ratchatcher, Leonardo de Crappo.
de Crappo, most famous for his combination nosepicker and automatic pig deodorizer, was an early believer in the cooperative efforts of artisans and craftmen. By breaking down the boundaries between the creative and the formative, de Crappo believed that mankind could aspire to a higher level of material comfort, thus rendering the need for spiritual comfort obsolete. To this end, de Crappo proposed a series of stategic planning meetings which lead to the optimization of the inherent pradigm of the collective realization of mass transit. Once large numbers of individuals could travel together, the initial opposition to a cohesive outline of options disappeared, setting the stage for the industrial revolution.
The physical achievement is less important than the cultural, and indeed, pan-humanist shift in the awareness and understanding of the underlying basis of manufacturing, a shift brought about by de Crappo’s philosphy. Compare and contrast the American-Philippines War with the decline of Communism in the 1980’s.
The similarities between the two center around their attempts to gain access to American dollars. (See note (1) below.)
At the out break of the Spanish-American war Filipino leader living abroad (while waiting for the Spanish to be desposed) met in Butte, Montana to plan for their return and the future political/economic course of their nation. As a result of this, shortly after the US defeat of the Spanish, the Philippines invaded the US. However due to limited map making/navigational skills they actually landed in northern Chile’s Atacoma desert where they soon surrendered to a somewhat puzzled local constable, Estaban Friez. The US, not wanting to make too big of an issue over the Philippine error voted to accept this as an act of war, graciously accepted their surrender, and started shoveling out the bucks.
Slightly later the Communist party in Russia embarked on a somewhat similar path. Plotting a course of action, re the US, that would ensure eventual defeat and considerable future economic aid they set to work. Upon the fall of Communism their plan came to fruition and McDonalds opened a store in Moscow.
The biggest difference was their methodology. The Soviets opted for the more peaceful sabre rattling/name calling/double dog daring approach while the Philippines simply bit the bullet and took direct action.
(1) OK, OK, I know it’s lame as hell. But I don’t see you trying to compare/contrast the two. Next Assingment: List and explain the pros and cons of each of the, "Man on the Grassy Knoll Theories."
Grassy Knolls plagued society from 800 BC to the late 1500s AD. Men and women would go to sleep safe and happy, but awaken to the horrible grassy knolls. One of the most fervant debates in anthropology today is whether the grassy knoll itself was responsible for the terror, or if it was the oft-mentioned “Man on the Grassy Knoll” who inspired such horror.
Briefly describe the importance of psychrometrics in the modern world.
Briefly describe the importance of psychrometrics in the modern world.
Someone once said “…(that) without psychrometrics, civilization as we know it, wouldn’t exist.” This is true. Without the advances made by the purveyors of this mystical ability, our world would be stuck in the dark ages - still using that outdated psychrostandard system (now only utilized by the U.S. and Liberia). Our base 10 knowledge of the psychro and its associated components has been greatly enhanced by being able to measure it accurately and not having to do those silly conversions. Accurate calculations of psychro length, width, and height has led to many advances that are readily apparent to anyone who thinks about it for a few minutes and has access to the Internet. I, for one, cannot comprehend what life would be like without psychrometrics.
Who’s next?
Analyze the phonetics, phonology, syntax, and semantics of a language of your choice. Please compare and contrast at least two major theoretical frameworks and extend the analysis to the development of culture in Africa. You may use both sides of the paper.
Analyze the phonetics, phonology, syntax, and semantics of a language of your choice. Please compare and contrast at least two major theoretical frameworks and extend the analysis to the development of culture in Africa. You may use both sides of the paper.
French is a very interesting language that is spoken in the countries of France, Montreal, and possibly Belgium. It is known to scholars as a Romantic language, along with Spanish and Italian, etc., because it is so, so beautiful.
It’s funny how, when French people talk, they don’t pronounce their R’s correctly. They kind of sound like L’s, actually. And they’re always saying, “hawh hawh,” like in that episode of the Simpsons, for example. Also, French is structured in a manner very similar to English and Japanese.
In Africa, two major theoretical frameworks developed as a result of colonization. That is why Cote d’Ivoire is a country there. Actually, this is thought by some scholars to be where French originated and it later moved to France. No one is really sure.
Fin.
Next Question:
Compare and contrast the music of Alexander Scriabin and Sergei Rachmaninov.
