A few bricks shy of not playing with a full deck

Baker · #1 09-14-2002, 09:31 PM

I was talking with a friend recently, just chit-chatting, when a really deep subject came up. (Hah!) How many ways are there to say a person is......a little slow. Of course there is "not playing with a full deck...elevator doesn't go all the way up.... a few bricks shy of a full load, and so on. But I just heard one that is totally new to me, and it was right here on the SDMB. Destined to be one of my favorites. "Not the sharpest stick in the tiger trap" Do you folks out there have more?

ghandi5569 · #2 09-14-2002, 09:36 PM

I've got one!

(And, yes, I say it about myself...A LOT!

)

"The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead."

Lady Ice · #3 09-14-2002, 09:43 PM

"The lights are on, but nobody is home" is a favorite of mine.

Mr. Blue Sky · #4 09-14-2002, 09:46 PM

"not the...

...sharpest knife in the drawer"
...brightest penny in the roll"

chique · #5 09-14-2002, 09:48 PM

A few bulbs short of a marquee.

And, brand new as of a week ago.....A few putter short of a golf bag.

Qadgop the Mercotan · #6 09-14-2002, 09:48 PM

"a few french-fries short of a happy meal"

"Toys in the attic"

"Dumber than a ditch carp"

"Thinks hygiene is a greeting"

"has only 5 working synapses left, and they're barely enough to keep his sphincters closed" (sorry, as a doc I like this one)

"not the sharpest knife in the drawer"

BTW, the medical term for "not playing with a full deck" is Microdeckia.

Turbo Dog · #7 09-14-2002, 10:25 PM

Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Inverse Einstein.

Bright as a candle in a hurricane.

Swift as a tree in the forest.

A doughnut short of being a cop.

Plays goalie for the dart team.

A couple clues short of a solution.

A few bullets shy of a full clip.

Smart as a tractor.

No thread in the sewing machine.

Surfing in Kansas.

So stupid that blondes tell jokes about him.

Fell in the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

He's a gas engine running on diesel.

Gargles with peanut butter.

A warhead shy of a missile.

No wick in his candle.

On the batting end of a no hitter.

StGermain · #8 09-14-2002, 10:43 PM

Dumb as...

a post
a box of rocks.

Rides the short bus.

StG

ghandi5569 · #9 09-14-2002, 11:09 PM

I've got one!

(And, yes, I say it about myself...A LOT!

)

"The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead."

Ice Wolf · #10 09-14-2002, 11:14 PM

A few sheep short in the top paddock.

kambuckta · #11 09-14-2002, 11:17 PM

A stubby short of a six-pack.

LeeJam · #12 09-14-2002, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ghandi5569
I've got one!

(And, yes, I say it about myself...A LOT! )

"The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead."

Sometimes this quote reminds me of these boards

My contribution: A few snowflakes short of a snowstorm.

Fern Forest · #13 09-14-2002, 11:23 PM

Thanks to Queen I've learned to like "One wave short of a shipwreck."

Ragiel · #14 09-15-2002, 12:23 AM

Ummm... a couple olives short of a Greek salad?

rostfrei · #15 09-15-2002, 12:38 AM

Dumb as a bag of hammers.

Eric

Northern Piper · #16 09-15-2002, 12:39 AM

Playing hockey with a warped puck.

iampunha · #17 09-15-2002, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky
...brightest penny in the roll"

And of course, if someone is attractive but stoopid, they're like a shiny penny.

Looks nice, but ain't worth much.

Michael Ellis · #18 09-15-2002, 01:19 AM

"The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed."

"Dumb as a broken bicycle."

"Has all the intelligence of aftershave."

"Smarter than nothing."

MrAndrewV · #19 09-15-2002, 04:42 AM

Poor fool. Good frame of mind. But no picture.

Feynn · #20 09-15-2002, 07:04 AM

More proof that cousins shouldn't marry.

woolly · #21 09-15-2002, 07:33 AM

Has his solar panel on the south (side of the house)

Of course northern hemisphere dopers should reverse the orientation

screech-owl · #22 09-15-2002, 10:52 AM

A 10-watt bulb trying to compete with Las Vegas.

jasg · #23 09-15-2002, 11:04 AM

Check out the 'Subtle Stupidity' links on this page

cybersnark · #24 09-15-2002, 11:31 AM

Too much sheetrock, not enough studs....

NutWrench · #25 09-15-2002, 11:42 AM

"A few too many birds sitting on his antenna"

"When they were handing out brains, he thought they said 'trains' and he said 'I'll wait for the next one.' "

Fifteen Iguana · #26 09-15-2002, 11:47 AM

"His elevator doesn't go to the top floor."

And the first one I ever read, from Robert L. Fish in the sixties:
"You're playing bridge with a pinochle deck!"

Roadwalker · #27 09-15-2002, 12:59 PM

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Boyo Jim · #28 09-15-2002, 02:25 PM

Not the brightest bulb in the string.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

WSLer · #29 09-15-2002, 03:34 PM

3 PB&J''s short of a full picnic basket

Dragonblink · #30 09-15-2002, 03:34 PM

I'm partial to the Bloodhound Gang's "not the sharpest peanut in the turd", but I more often use my own "not the sharpest tine on the spork".

LouisB · #31 09-15-2002, 05:52 PM

Couldn't pee a hole in a snow-drift.

Kaf · #32 09-15-2002, 10:55 PM

A few kittens short of a full sack...

LindyHopper · #33 09-15-2002, 11:08 PM

Not the brightest porch light on the block.

Sharp as a bowling ball.

Strong as an ox, and just about as smart.

Built too low to the ground; all the fast ones go over his head.

Most of these are Foghorn Leghorn-isms, but due to Molly Ivins, we have "Dumb as a Dallas banker".

Apologies to any actual Dallas bankers out there.

Pulling the Strings · #34 09-15-2002, 11:20 PM

Not the brightest bulb on the christmas tree

Alma · #35 09-16-2002, 01:19 AM

Dumb as paint.
(Thanks M. Doughty)

phraser · #36 09-16-2002, 02:51 AM

how about
"s/he has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock"
"dumb as a box of hammers"-thanks Jill Sobule
"when they were giving out brains, s/he thought they were giving out milkshakes and asked for an extra-thick one"

Maxxxie · #37 09-24-2002, 07:06 AM

Heh, and in homage to the moron I met at a pizza joint the other night...

"She's as thick as two deep pan pizzas with cheesy crusts"

Max

Simetra · #38 09-24-2002, 08:53 AM

The lights are on, but no one's home. And there's a walrus in the garage.

And of course, we've all heard of "Born with a silver spoon in his mouth." So how about, "Born with a salad fork in his ear."

PatrickM · #39 09-24-2002, 10:06 AM

She's a billion dollar airport with a 10 cent control tower.

World Eater · #40 09-24-2002, 11:02 AM

A bottle short of a six pack

Doubting Robert · #41 09-24-2002, 05:13 PM

And then there is what Texas Governor Ann Richards said about George Herbert Walker Bush: "Poor George. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."

teela brown · #42 09-24-2002, 06:22 PM

"Thick as a whale sandwich." -- Blackadder

tisiphone · #43 09-24-2002, 06:38 PM

"Strong like ox, smart like tractor" has always been one of my faves.

White Lightning · #44 09-24-2002, 08:38 PM

I've always liked saying stuff like 'not the brightest knife in the drawer.' Just makes me laugh.

Marine_One · #45 09-24-2002, 08:56 PM

The butter has slipped off his pancakes.

Nothing is blowing thru the windmills of his mind.

Dumb as a bag full of turnips.

The water in his toilet is swirling the wrong way.

Smeghead · #46 09-25-2002, 01:59 AM

Sharp as a mashed potato sandwich

jackelope · #47 09-25-2002, 02:37 AM

Not the fastest elk in the herd.

And when I was teaching, a colleague (who used that expression a lot) had a student write that someone was "Not the fastest alp in the herd." Holy reflexive statements, Batman!

I'm also partial to "A few tacos short of a combo platter," "Dumb as a bag of hammers" (mentioned elsewhere), and "Got a mind like a steel wool."

jackelope · #48 09-25-2002, 02:45 AM

Not the fastest elk in the herd.

And when I was teaching, a colleague (who used that expression a lot) had a student write that someone was "Not the fastest alp in the herd." Holy reflexive statements, Batman!

I'm also partial to "A few tacos short of a combo platter," "Dumb as a bag of hammers" (mentioned elsewhere), and "Got a mind like a steel wool."

jackelope · #49 09-25-2002, 02:45 AM

Not the fastest elk in the herd.

And when I was teaching, a colleague (who used that expression a lot) had a student write that someone was "Not the fastest alp in the herd." Holy reflexive statements, Batman!

I'm also partial to "A few tacos short of a combo platter," "Dumb as a bag of hammers" (mentioned elsewhere), and "Got a mind like a steel wool."

tritone · #50 09-25-2002, 05:17 AM

How has noone mentioned "as thick as two short planks"??

I also like "a couple of roos loose in the top paddock" (already mentioned by phraser), and "a couple of TimTams short of a packet".

But I think my favourite is "hasn't got two brain cells to rub together"

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