Not the brightest crayon in the box.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
As sharp as a cue ball.
We’ve all heard these in one form or another at some point: euphemisms for the slow and dim-witted.
How many more of these can we come up with?
One I always thought unique to my family – a few acres short of a field
and from work
No danger of leaving here for NASA
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Dumb as a bag of hammers.
As stupid as the day is long.
The lights are on, but nobody’s home
About three bricks shy of a load.
Lost some tiles on re-entry.
A couple letters shy of an alphabet.
Can short of a six pack.
Elevator doesn’t go up to the top floor.
Stupid.
…what?
Couple of tacos short of a combo plate.
Waves don’t quite make it to the shore line
A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.
That boy ain’t right.
Sharp as a marble. (That’s the round object I’ve usually heard.)
Nice kid, but he leaks.
Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
A few cards short of a deck.
Foghorn Leghorn said, “sharp as a bowling ball.” He also said, “sharp as a sack of wet mice.”
A few roos loose in the top paddock.
There’s a village somewhere missing it’s idiot.
Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag.
As dumb as dog shit. (Double Ds) from Renaissance Man
Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.
Management material.
Some of these are more used for someone who is crazy rather than stupid. Especially the two ____s short of a ______. At least, that’s how folks around here interpreted it.
For dumb, my family used to say, “As stupid as two left shoes.”
Lately, I’ve been saying, “Doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together.” I don’t know where I picked that up. It may be mine, but I’m not sure. Has anyone heard this phrase? If so, where?