A coupla cents short of a dollar...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m interested in some variations on the following theme…

Please feel free to add as many funnies as you’ve ever heard, because my other half reckons he’s heard them all :stuck_out_tongue:

… a beer short of a six-pack,
… a sandwich short of a picnic,
… not the sharpest knife in the drawer (stolen from another thread / can’t remember who or where)
… not the brightest penny to come out of the mint,
… etc…

Am looking forward to seeing what sort of insults the doper’s can come up with, along these lines, because I’m sure we can prove my other half that there are planty more out there that he hasn’t heard yet ! :smiley:

2

How about these for starters?

His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.

His cheese slipped off his cracker.

He is a couple bricks shy of a load.

3

From Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn:

A few planes short of an airforce.
A few tiles missing from his space shuttle.
A flower short of an arrangement.
A flying buttress short of a cathedral.
He’s eight pawns short of a gambit.
Going through life pushing doors marked “Pull”.
Bright as an acetylene torch – without an oxygen supply.
If his IQ was two points higher he’d be a rock.

and so on …

4

-running a slug instead of a hamster
-a few quarts short of a gallon
-one sperm that should have been swallowed
-not the brightest lamp on the street
-not the fastest car on the track
-not the sharpest pencil in the box
I’ll post more when i remember them…

5

a few 'roos loose in the top paddock

6

Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

7

Along the same lines as Dijon’s…

  • Sharp as a bowling ball.

And a couple that I ripped off somewhere or other…

  • One tree short of a hammock.
  • A few pancakes short of an International House.
8

[hijack]
mmmmm… miiiiice… yummmm… :smiley:
[/hijack]
ok, ok, how about

a few fries short of a happy meal
the wheel’s turning, but the hamster’s dead
makes a slug look like Einstein
a few pages short of a novel

that’s all i can think of… think, think, think

9

I always liked “He’s not around the bend, but his turn signal’s always on,” but I don’t think that’s quite the same implication.

10

Not the brightest ornament on the tree

Smart as a box of rocks

Sharp as a bag of hair

11

Now this like!

And the one about the 'roos that reprise did. You’re from Aussie, huh? I love it!!

12

Oops! That should have had just the “sperm” joke quoted. Sorry! My bad!

13

Dumber than a bag of hammers

He’s got the personality of a sack of wet mud

Like trying to explain nuclear fission to a cranberry

If he had twice the brains he’d still be a half-wit

Not the brightest bulb in the string

A few olives(?) short of a salad

14

A few clowns shy of a circus.

(Along the “Not the sharpest knife…” line) Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

15

I love 'em guys !

Keep ‘em comin’. By the time my SO gets home from work, I’ll have heaps of examples to show him that he doesn’t know all :smiley:

Then he’ll HAVE to believe me when I say that only Cecil knows all… there you go, every thread has to have at least one gratuitous Cecil remark.

16

Not the brightest crayon in the box.

[sup]Because of this saying, I once had a debate about which crayon was the dullest. We finally agreed it was Macaroni and Cheese.[/sup]

17

The lights are on but nobody’s home.

18

Not the quickest bunny in the forest

Variation on the hammer theme:
Dumber than a sack a’ doorknobs

A few cornflakes short of a bowl

A moron studying hard to be an idiot and failing badly

19

6 cans but missing the little plastic thingy that holds it all together.

20

“A few tacos short of a combo platter”