…slightly brighter than your average houseplant.
…not the broghtest bulb on the string.
And in the same vein, my friend Darren always says, “When I think that the molecules in his brain could have been used to make something useful, like maybe a couple hundred mosquitoes…”
a few bats short of a belfry
A Baby Jesus short of a nativity.
A few spokes short of a wagon wheel.
The key’s in the ignition, but the car’s up on blocks.
A ball short of a trailer hitch.
A few decimal places short of pi.
A few peaches short of a cobbler.
A few beerstains short of a frat house.
A few puffs short of a bong hit.
The tornado’s touched ground, but there’s nary a mobile home in sight.
Where is this thread ??? This sort of thing would help me get through those times when I can’t sleep. Did a search but couldn’t find it
And Wolfkin, this is my favourite so far, I think :
[QUOTE]
** 6 cans but missing the little plastic thingy that holds it all together. **
Thank you for the laughing cramps !
Six cents short of a nickel.
Another list like this was being passed around by e-mail. Of course I don’t have access to it right now. The one that stood out was:
Too tall for his blood supply
The lights are on, but nobody’s home.
His wiring isn’t up to code.
The bats have left his belfry [sub]I just thought that one up [/sub]
He’s not the brightest light in the chandelier.
Dumber than a box of rocks.
The radio works but the engine won’t start.
All hat and no cattle. [sub]this is a fav of mine and very few ever get it. [/sub]
From Dorothy Parker: Her only flair is in her nostrils.
That if his leg were on fire he break out the marshmellows and skewer them on his penis.
{From the days before PC}
He’s the head of the Polish Mafia.
And
There goes the Captain of the Retard Brigade
and
He rode the short bus to school.
His brain is so small if you rolled it along the sharp edge of a razor it would be like rolling a pea down a four lane highway.
a few chicken nuggets short of a happy meal…
A few seeds short of a pumpkin.
A few chapters short of a book.
A few notes short of a song.
A few keys short of a ketboard.
A few keys short of a piano.
A few teeth short of a mouth.
A few buttons short of a waistcoat.
A few letters short of the alphabet.
A few words short of a book.
There’s a song called “I’m Going Slightly Mad” by Queen where he goes through some of these. Not all of them exactly suit your formula but the best one it.
In there you’ll find
You’re missing that one final screw
I’m one card short of a full deck
I’m not quite a shilling
One wave short of a shipwreak (my fav)
I’m knitting with only one needle
I’m driving with only three wheels