Poetry of the Mundane - A Challenge

[rjk]

Here at work we use Lotus Notes for mail, calendars, and lots of other stuff. One of the employees (call him ‘jimg’) noted another’s sig (“Cry ‘havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of e-mail.”) and made the comments below.

Certainly Dopers can work everyday things and situations into verse, but can jimg be topped?

from jimg

I thought I’d spend a creative moment and complete your verse. It’s amazing what I remember from nearly 50 years ago. (No! I wasn’t there when WS wrote it!!)

I pardon me, thou bleeding Lotus Notes,
That I am meek and gentle with these glitches,
for thou are the ruins of the buggiest system,
that e’er was writ in the time of times.
Woe to the hands that typed this costly code!
Over thy crashes now do I prophesy,
That like dumb kludges beg the voice and utterance of my tongue.

A curse shall light upon the user crowd,
Useless features and network failures shall 'cumber all the parts of <our workplace>.

And Netscape’s spirit, raging for revenge,
with Pine Mail by its side, hot from Seattle,
Shall in these confines ,with a hacker’s voice,
Cry “havoc!” and let slip the dogs of e-mail.
That these foul notices shall smell above the spam,
with carry-on laptops groaning for burial.

Now I feel much better !!!

[rjk]

Is nobody interested?

[Aslan_of_Narnia]

Today at school I worked hard
Doing poetry and stuff like rhyming is hard
Today I went to class to discuss politics and stuff
And did some work and stuff
the end
which stops here cuz it’s the end
Any good?

[BraheSilver]

my
space
bar
is stuck

   and
         so
              is

my
shift
key
ee

[BraheSilver]

Bleh. Ignore that, it was supposed to be:

my
        space
                  bar
is                                 stuck

       and
             so
                  is
                                        
my
                     shift
                      key

ee

Curse you, VBulletin, and your auto-spacing!