The Stupid

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Alright, last night I was frying hamburgers-diet be damned. Anyway everything was going along swimmingly, my babies were a nice shade of brown/grey and I was saliavating like a dog with rabies.

In any event, while I was cooking I decided to go downstairs for a bit, so I put the glass cover (that came with the pan) overtop of the burgers.

I was downstairs for no more than 5 minutes.

When I came back up I took off the now much warmer glass lid and placed it into the sink. I noticed that my burgers had reached a “mature” and reading to eat age, so I thought to myself, “Self, I think I’ll wash this glass lid off and put it away”. Then I pulled the faucet nob up, releasing gallons of that cold refreshing liquid, when all of a sudden…
BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!
The glass lid explodes in my freak’n hand! I felt a rush of air and instantly thought, “my lasix, ruined!”.
After the detonation it took a few seconds to realize that I could, in fact, still see. I was still clutching the handle to the formerly intact glass lid. At this time I noticed that my hand had some glass on it, finely almost powdered glass.

My fiance calls up from the lower level, “everything ok?”, I shout back yes and it begins to dawn on me how stupid I was.
I mean, hot glass, cold liquid…Isn’t that one of the first things you learn as a child? Needless to say I felt really stupid. To top that off I had to get rid of the glass.

In stumbles the drunken old man. As I’m picking the glass out of the sink, he realizes what happened. Now, he didn’t freak out-he just found it a little funny. After I got as much of the glass out of the sink as possible, he said, “Stand back son”. He then steps in front of the sink while telling me never to do what he is about to do and that he only new about it because he had broken plenty of glass objects before.

So he flicks on the garbage disposal, saying “Ah, ya see son, which is harder glass or metal?”. I say metal and my father then says “that’s why the glass will be ground into powder”. Granted while he was saying all of this the sound that eminated from the garbage disposal was not unlike what I imagine very badly scorned Harpies would sound like…

And so ends my example of my unusual stupidity of last night.

Anyone else have similar examples?

(For your sake, I hope not :D).

2

Yes, but mine was a pyrex containter with some rice pudding in it, and all I did was put it on a cool stovetop. Kerpow! glass all over the kitchen, and really runny rice-puddingesque goo laced with broken glass all over the stove.

Ah, the good old days.

3

This was not done by me…

My BIL put his cornish hen in the oven and set the timer on the microwave for an hour. He inadvertantly turned the microwave on instead of just the timer because the microwave was Brand New and he didn’t read the instructions. An hour later he found the glass dish in the microwave melted and emitting sparks around the center hole that had been burned in the microwave.

The microwave was brand new
Now a molten mess
The landlord is not happy

4

Wow. What a cool way to wreck a microwave!

I accidently put a plate atop a just-used electric stovetop. POW!

Scared the crap outta me, but it was pretty neat.

5

Helpful household hint: when you’re out of Cascade dishwasher detergent, do NOT substitute Dawn dishwashing soap, unless you want to be knee-deep in thick suds in a very short period of time!

6

Pyrex dish for me! I had a great Pyrex roasting dish. Could easily hold an Oven Stuffer Roaster and all of its drippings! So, I roast a chicken, take the chicken out of the dish, put it on a platter, leave the dish in the oven to wash later. Promptly forget. The following night, I preheat the oven for dinner, open hot oven to discover Pyrex inside. Oooops! That was bad enough, you might think, but Nooooo, couldn’t leave it at that, could I? No, I had to take the Pyrex out of the oven, put it in the sink, run water in it! Duh! The thin cracked clean into two pieces! I’ve never had an adequate size roasting pan for a large chicken since then.:frowning:

7

norinew, it’s too bad you didn’t keep the pieces and get yourself some good, dishwasher-proof glass and china adhesive. i broke my covered ceramic pie dish in half once, which was rotten ‘cause it made a nice, BIG deep-dish pie. grabbed me my tube o’ glue and stuck it back together. it still works just fine whenever i use it.

as for the cold-on-hot oopsie, don’t think i’ve done that since i took the bottom out of the pyrex coffee pot when i went to make coffee for my mom (back when i was in 4th or 5th grade). (mom believed in teaching me to be handy in the kitchen at an early age. she said i made better coffee than she did.)

lachesis

8

I broke a very nice glass pitcher that was sitting in the sink while I was draining some cooked noodles.

I’ve also shattered a good number of various sized glass jars while using them as jet engines, but that’s to be expected. Most amusing was the one that shattered on the tile floor while I was taking some measurements off it with my multimeter; ended up with a lovely pile of broken glass and flaming methanol a few inches from the carpet, lightly toasting my multimeter. Got it on video, too.

9

I think Ca3799 just invented something here, reverse haiku! (7-5-7)

God, I must be bored today.

10

I once decided to soften some butter for some muffins by putting the glass butter thingie in the oven after the muffins came out and the oven was off.

When I opened it a little while later, it was a pool of liquid butter, dripping nicely onto the oven elements below. Well that was a lost cause, I knew, so I grabbed it with my trusty oven mitt and, without a second thought, into the mixing bowl full of water in the sink, to wash later.

Nice explosion, that.

Then there was my childhood game of taking the lampshade off my bedroom lamp and flicking water at it until the bulb imploded…

11

God, that light bulb trick, opalcat, reminded me for a second of what my friend used to do with his GI JOE men, which included melting them on light bulbs…I wonder how he’s been doing (childhood friend over 12 years ago).

I remember as a kid I used some sort of glass pitcher for my tea. It actually lasted a few times before it finally cracked on me, kinda sucked when the hot tea spilt everywhere.

12

Opalcat-I did that lightbulb trick as well. Really pissed the old parents off too. I remember vividly one time when my father commented on how “clutzy” I was for breaking 3 lightbulbs in a week.

13

I burned a pop tart once.

Don’t ask.

14

Three in a week? Amateur!

My mom never knew about it. I changed my own lightbulbs.

15

Aww, rats! That was my first haiku and I did it wrong.

16

Once I made brownies in a glass pan and I wanted it to cool more quickly so I took it from the oven and set it outside in the snow.

Don’t worry. The brownies were ok to eat.

17

I saw at a bar with a friend and her bf. Us guys were drinking IRA carbombs (Guiness with a shotglass with 1/2 Irish cream and 1/2 irish whiskey dropped into it).

He slammed down his carbomb and the second he drank the last drop his glass EXPLODED.

That rocked.

18

Well, this isn’t so much of a temperature difference as low temperature and too much force applied.

In 8th grade I had come home from school, and it was pouring a mixture of sleet and freezing rain. Needless to say, I wanted to get inside as quickly as possible. Normally, my mom would leave the garage door open for when I would get home, but today the garage door had frozen shut. So, I went to the side door. The door was wood from the waist down, and the rest of the door had nine square glass panels. The door is at the top of a few steps, and I couldn’t get on the steps without breaking my legs on the ice, so I couldn’t reach the doorbell. So, I knocked on the closest thing: the window panels. I guess they were more brittle than usual, and one shattered, slicing the everlasting crap out of my hand and wrist. My mom reached the door a second or so later, and I spent over an hour and a half getting the blood to stop flowing. For a few weeks afterward, everyone thought I was suicidal. Also, I nearly sliced off my knuckle, but the skin stayed on literally by a thread for a few days; that sucker took months to heal. I still have the scar… probably because this was only a year or so ago. collective gasp

…Wow, that was way longer than it should have been. Then again, why leave out details? We’re here to waste time, after all. :slight_smile:

19

I’ve done the hot water into cold glass before and the plate on a burner too. Only mine was a plate of flour (I was making chicken fried steak, yum) and when the plate broke in two the flour made this really cool looking column of fire.

But the thing I remember most was when I was little. Remember Underoos? Well my sis had a pair of Wonder Woman Underoos. Me and my cousin were playing in my room and for some reason we wanted ambiance so we decided to cover the lamp shade with the pretty blue and red Underoos. They touched the light bulb and melted to it in mere seconds making the most awful stench that my mom, who was in the other end of the house, came running. They burst into flames just as she came into the room. She handled it very well I think even though I had a hard time sitting down for a few days. They recalled the Underoos about a week after that. They were a fire hazard.

My mom must have prayed really hard that I would have kids just like me because my oldest son did the same thing except with a plastic slinky. Didn’t catch fire, though. Thank Goodness.

20

I’ve broken test tubes in Chem lab several times through being impatient and thinking “Ah, it’s probably cool enough that it won’t crack now…”

Nope.

[slight hijack] My first year advisor, who was a Chem Professor, told us in chem lab one day that the most important thing to learn in Freshman chemistry is that there is no way to tell the difference between hot glass and cold glass by looking.
[/slight hijack]