The other day when we got home from church I had my bass guitar on my back as I carried stuff into the house. I had adjusted it so it was on by one shoulder strap as I opened the door–the bass was hanging sideways.
When I leaned forward to set something down beside the dining room table, the head of the bass hit one of the three pendant lamps over the table, causing it to slam into its brethren, like a Newton’s cradle. There was an explosion of glass shards covering the dining room. I would have expected the lamp shades to crack or chip, but not explode.
Cats ran. The children shrieked in glee at the parent-initiated mayhem.
If the kids weren’t laughing so hard I would have been upset, but I started laughing too. Went to Lowes that night to buy replacements. They look nicer than the originals.
I decided to do some straight-legged pullups on the pullup/dip rack. I turned around so I could see my form in the mirror, pulled my self up, and smacked my head into the bar.
It was such a stupid thing to do, all I could do is laugh, even though I gave myself a huge gash.
My only excuse was that I had gotten up at 4:30am…
After a long trail ride on horseback, I collapsed on dismount. My legs were like spaghetti. Very embarrassing, especially when my gf said, “Yo, Commenich”.
My middle name should be “klutz.” Today I did my great feature of hitting my foot on a slightly raised sidewalk concrete square, losing my balance and falling.
I caught my sleeve on the latch of the microwave door as I was putting my food in. The plastic piece cracked, but the door still closed. However, I guess it was enough to trigger the safety mechanism so now the microwave no longer works.
Until I can get a new one, I have to heat my food the old fashioned way.
In September my new slickety-soled dress shoes caused me to bump down three stone steps and land on my hands and knees. Just to make it more fun, it happened at the entrance to the faculty conference room, where our big in-service meeting had just begun.
It hurt like hell and for a moment I thought one of my knees and a thumb was broken; nevertheless, I hopped right up with a big smile – I couldn’t admit to being hurt (and embarrassed).
No breakage, just a horribly bruised kneecap and hurty thumb for a few weeks.
I can’t seem to get anything out of the freezer or refrigerator without knocking something over or out onto the floor. I swear every surface in my house is slanted somehow. Happens every day. Sometimes frozen things fall on my foot. Ouch.
I use a four-peppercorn blend in my pepper grinder, which is a cheap bottle with a grinder top that just plain black peppercorns come in. I filled it the other day and the next morning, I found out the hard way that I hadn’t really tightened it out that well and dumped several ounces of peppercorns into my omelette. “That’s probably too much,” I thought, and started over. Not so simple for disposal’s sake were the several teaspoons of peppecorns which escaped the pan and scattered. I’ll still be finding those things when I move out…
Reaching into the back of the kitchen cabinet where we keep the coffee mugs, I hit my hand on the edge of the shelf above and gouged a big chunk of skin off the knuckle at the base of my index finger. Hurt like hell, wouldn’t stop bleeding, and was in a spot that I really couldn’t put a band aid on it. The funny thing is, I do this about every couple of months, so you would think I’d learn to be careful by now. Nope, not me!
Leaving the house the other day, I missed the one step up to the door way. (stoopid house is built with a Statement! Entry! You step up onto a platform from the rest of the house to a room size area that is nothing but the entry, then down out the front door. Waste of space.) Anyhow. Missed the step, by this much, and sprawled out full length. Most of my weight went onto my knee, which hurt. I ended up somewhat dramatically throwing my arm forward and throwing my car keys across the room, into the door, where they crashed. My son came running over and reported, “Mom, you broke the keys!” He looked over at me and asked, “Oh, did you break your leg again?” (Last summer I broke my ankle, also by being graceful and tripping over a dog toy.) “No, legs are fine, just bruised.” Car keys had snapped into their component bits: for the valet, for me to keep. I never bother, so it took me a little while to figure out. No harm done, but it should have done on you tube. I haven’t fallen full length in ages.
Somehow I cracked the glass front of a little cabinet we have. I have no idea how. I put stuff in it one day and the next day, found broken shares and a huge crack down the middle. My SO had to remove the glass pane. At least now I can just put stuff in without opening the door.
My freezer has an ice dispenser in the door and I am convinced there is a sensor in it that only dispenses the last cube once you move your glass away.
I was heading to the mail box when I stepped in a hole that I couldn’t see in the grass and went straight down, then rolled a bit. Had a ginormous bruise on my knee the next day. I’m always bruised somewhere though as I bang into things a lot. But I rarely fall over completely.
A couple weeks ago, I was getting ready to leave for work. I had put the Setters into their bedroom and was hurrying down the hall. I stepped on a pig ear that I SWEAR was not there on my first pass down the hall and slid probably 4 feet before going down HARD. I think my dogs are plotting to kill me.
Today I put a pitcher under the water dispenser on the fridge and discovered that it didn’t fit well enough to prevent a cascade of water from running down the outside and into my shoes.
Five minutes later, I somehow managed to catch a drawer handle on my jeans pocket. I smacked my knuckles on the front of the drawer and then, while trying to disentangle and close the drawer, closed it on my hand.
I’m departing from the OP a little here because this incident isn’t recent but it does involve a guitar. When I was a teen my brother had an acoustic that was his pride and joy.
I walked into his room when he wasn’t there for some reason. There was a wooden ruler on his floor. I accidentally kicked it with the rubber toe of my gym shoe. The ruler flew like an arrow across the room and hit point first on the body of my brother’s guitar, causing a significant gouge. If I’d tried to do this on purpose there is no way I could have, but somehow I managed it by accident.
The accident was so freakishly unlucky that I’m not sure my brother has ever really believed me that it happened in this way. I think he secretly thinks I did it on purpose or was (unauthorisedly) using his guitar when I dropped it or something.
