Tales of clumsiness

This thread is for admitting your clumsiness and boneheaded maneuvers. Here’s my latest.

I recently added a Victorinox Bundeswehr Trekker to my collection. This is a knife that allows you to open it with one hand. I tried the one-handed opening several times in fhe five days I’ve had it. Woiks like a chahm! Today I needed to cut the tape on the box of my new external drive. It’s a great chance to use the knife for the first time! I try to open it one-handed, while holding the box in my other hand. Didn’t quite get it, and my middle finger got under the blade. Blood ensued.

Bought a set of 4 Disney plates at an estate sale, they were bought during the grand opening of Disneyland. Paid a fair price for them, hoped to make more selling them on Ebay. I ended up breaking one while washing them. Still sold them, at a loss though.

Glad the Victoronix is okay. I love them knives!

I fat-fingered two other thread titles trying edit open this one on my phone. :stuck_out_tongue:

Edit–and then made a typo.

The last time I cut myself with a pocket knife, it was 30-some years ago. I was one-hand closing the small blade on my Victorinox Champion, and my thumb got in the way.

I did this a few years ago. While showing off my cool new knife :smack:

I dropped a chopping board onto my toe. (Ouch!)
I remember watching it fall and thinking ‘that’s going to hurt.’ :smack:

I lost the nail off my big toe - but it grew back. :cool:

Wiped out on my bike a few days ago. Knee scrape, sore arm. My wife of course laughed.

My entire life is a tale of clumsiness. I trip over shadows. Sometimes I say it’s my husband’s fault, especially if he’s not there. (If he had been there, he could have caught me before I fell.)

My most recent self-inflicted injury was a very badly sprained ankle from falling down a two-inch step outside my dentist’s office. I knew it wasn’t broken, as I had full mobility, but it swelled up so it looked like I had implanted a softball in my foot, and took months to fully heal.

I have a very new and still healing septum piercing. While eating some popcorn today, I absent-mindedly tossed a handful at my mouth and whacked my nose. I was seeing orange stars, yellow moons and green clover for a while, and it’s still achy.

I was on a date. We were at a train station and there was a bench for us to wait. She sat down and somehow in my dopiness I went to sit but missed the bench and sat on air and fell backwards onto my butt. If you are curious, no that is not a turn on on a date.

Who else could fall down 4 stairs and end up with a broken tailbone, two broken toes, two broken fingers, and a snapped off wrist bone sitting up her arm?

While retrieving food from my week old microwave, my sleeve caught on the latch/hook the holds the door closed, snapping it off.

One of my dogs tore off his ID tag just when we got back from walking at night. I could hear it land somewhere in my carport. After putting the dogs inside, I flipped the switch for the carport light but it didn’t turn on. The bulb had burned out. All my flashlights were non-functional, and I was out of batteries. Maybe I should go out and buy new batteries and light bulbs, but that would be too much effort for a simple dog tag.

I decided I could use the reverse lights on my SUV to search for the tag. Bad idea. It’s fuel injected. I was standing outside the SUV instead of sitting inside when I shifted to Reverse. The SUV took off and I couldn’t get to the brake. The driver’s side door caught on one of the car port posts. It tore the post away and reversed the door, making it uncloseable. The SUV then jetted down my driveway (I live on a hill) and straight into a ditch that runs through my front yard. My wench couldn’t pull it out, so I had to call a tow truck. $100 for the tow, $50 for the new post, $1600 for the new door and reconstruction work, all because it would take longer to buy new batteries and light bulbs.

Never did find the stupid dog tag.

Well, to be fair, most wenches aren’t strong enough to pull anything that heavy. :smiley:

There is a time and place for daydreaming. One situation which is NOT such a time and place is when you are sawing a piece of wood on a table saw–I ended up sawing off the tip of my thumb.

I’ve carried a Kershaw Ken Onion Scallion for years without issue. It has a spring assisted opening for one finger operation, and a blade lock, which I’ve never used. I love this knife. We had some visitors not long ago, and for some reason I had my hands in my pockets and kept fussing around with the knife with my left hand.

Well of course it came open, impaling my finger and trapping the half-opened blade in the pocket material. So I’m doing the owowow! dance, trying to extract my hand from the pocket without having the knife do more damage to both hand and other things in close proximity, while every one stood staring at me like I had lost my mind. :o

My latest bone-headed maneuver:

I grilled steaks for dinner tonight. The grill is against the railing on the deck, and there’s a 10’ x 6’ roll-up shade on that part of the deck. Despite having grilled there numerous times without incident, this time I melted the fabric of the shade where the corners of the grill’s lid are. :smack:

Oh, well. At least I had a $100 Amazon gift certificate I’ve been forgetting about for five months and the new shade was only $95.

Well recently I took a deck dive trying to keep my little Yorkie from falling a few feet to the ground. I got broken foot and a sore shoulder for my efforts. These things are always happening to me. I am A#1 klutz.
Probably TMI but I fell off the toilet. My sugar was real low one morning and the next thing I knew I was laying on the bathroom floor, Mr.Wrekker trying to wake me up and give me juice. My life is just lovely.:slight_smile: Just saying.

I don’t have any really spectacular ones recently (I’d like to think I’m getting more mindful as I age, but it’s probably just dumb luck), and I think I’ve already posted most of the really crazy ones from years past.

I did cut my fingers while stretching a tripwire last month. I pulled a little too hard, and it went right through my skin. Kind of like a papercut, only deeper. I made a mental note to wear gloves next time.