Name your favorite Shel Silverstein poem...

[Jadis]

I was cleaning my bathroom over the weekend, and one of my favorite Shel Silverstein poems popped into my head...I'm pretty sure it's entitled The Hat:

Teddy said it was a hat,
So I put it on.
Now Dad is saying
"Where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?"

That never fails to tickle me.

So...what's your favorite?

[World Eater]

My memory is failing me, but IIRC there was one about someone diving into an empty pool. It had had something about "the most twistable turnable" in it, but I don't remember if that was describing the dive or the diver.

Anyway that was my favorite.

Off to Google!

[caveman]

A Boy Named Sue

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

Gotta be "Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out." I once held a roomful of first graders spellbound with that one. When I got to the line:

At last the garbage reached so high
That finally it touched the sky

One little boy whispered, "Wowwww..."

[NoCoolUserName]

My favorite is not a poem, but one page of Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book:

E.
E is for Ernie.
Ernie is the genie who lives in the ceiling.
E is also for egg. Ernie loves eggs!
So go into the kitchen and get a nice fresh egg and throw it as hard as you can at the ceiling and yell: "Catch Ernie, catch the egg!"
And Ernie will lean down out of the ceiling and catch the egg.

(From memory, so may not be exact.)

[Jadis]

Biffy, I *love* that one!! There was another one in that book (I think it's Where The Sidewalk Ends) about a girl who was faking sick, listing a litany of ailments she had, until she found out it was Saturday and there was no school. Classic!

[Tangent]

There's too many kids in this tub,
There's too many elbows to scrub,
I just washed a behind,
That I'm sure wasn't mine,
There's too many kids in this tub!

That one's not my all time favorite, but I had to memorize a poem for a 4th grade assignment MANY years ago, and that was it.

My favorite may be the one about the dancing pants. My fifth grade teacher used to read it to us and she would get the giggles so bad every time that she could barely finish it.

[Merla]

My all-time favorites, no doubt, are

"We can't find the cat-
we don't know where it's at-
Oh where did it go?
Does anyone know?
Let's ask this walking hat."


And of course,

"I will not play at tug-o-wars-
I'd rather play at hug-o-wars
where everyone hugs, instead of tugs
and everyone giggles and rolls on the rugs
and everyone tickles
and everyone grins
and everyone snuggles
and everyone- wins."


Merla

[AzRaek]

My beard grows to my toes
I never wears no clothes
I wraps my hair around my bare
And down the road I goes.

Poor grammar, lovely meter, fun to recite over and over.

[DiabloKitty2]

My favorite one was next to the light switch in the library. I can't remember it exactly, but it goes something like:

"Oh no! What do I do?
This library book is one-hundred-forty years overdue!"

Wow, I haven't spelled numbers in so long that I'm not even sure if that's how you spell forty. Or is it fourty? I'm pretty sure the first one is right.

At any rate, the poem continues on as the person debates whether or not he should return it and face the long fines or keep it even longer. It's great.

[Lsura]

For Sale
One sister for sale!
One sister for sale!
One crying and spying young sister for sale!
...
Do I hear a dollar?
A nickle?
A penny?
...

My older brother likes to recite it to me on a regular basis.

[Chronos]

My absolute favorite, had I to pick one, would have to be "Sick". But I'm also quite fond of "Band-Aids" (reciting all of the body parts with band-aids on them, in case he should ever get a cut), the afore-mentioned "Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout", "The Unicorn" (about how the loveliest of all, the Unicorn, got left off the Ark), and "Sister for Sale" (which is about exactly what it sounds like).

Oh, yeah, and "Pancakes", and "The Walrus got Braces", and "Drats", and "Somebody Ate the Baby", and "I'm Being Swallowed by a Boa Constrictor", and "True Story", and...

[Helena]

The one about the dog with a tail at either end. ("Though he's not so good at knowing just exactly where he's going, he is very very good at sitting down.")

[Ludo]

World Eater:

My memory is failing me, but IIRC there was one about someone diving into an empty pool. It had had something about "the most twistable turnable" in it, but I don't remember if that was describing the dive or the diver.

That is my favorite poemby Shel Silverstein, called The Twistable Turnable Man. When I was a kid, I had that poem memorized and I could say it in under 15 seconds flat. It was the typical kiddie trick that my parents would always have me do at family things. My mom got the biggest kick out of it. However, I don't remember it having anything about a pool. It was just a non-sensical poem about a man who could twist and turn about.

Another one of my favorites is the title poem in Where The Sidewalk Ends. And another one of my favorites is one called Invitation, which starts w/ "If you are a dreamer, come in/ If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar...You get the point.

I could go on and on about Shel Silverstein, but sadly, I am a slow typist, and many years would pass before I could do him justice.

[RealityChuck]

Some folks love ham hocks
And some folks love pork chops
And some folks love vegetable soup
And Roland the Roadie loves Gertrude the Groupie
But Gertrude the Groupie loves groups

There's also "Stacy Brown has Two."

[Chronos]

I could go on and on about Shel Silverstein, but sadly, I am a slow typist, and many years would pass before I could do him justice.

Would that, by any chance, be because you're only one inch tall?

[drm]

I've always liked this one...

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my toys to break:
So none of the other kids can use 'em.
Amen

[Kat]

Come in

If you are a dreamer, come in
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hoper, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin
Come in, come in.

Also, Listen to the MUSTN'TS, I'm writing this poem from inside a lion, the one about the crocodile's tooth and I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor.

[fizgig]

Originally posted by AzRaek
My beard grows to my toes
I never wears no clothes
I wraps my hair around my bare
And down the road I goes.

Poor grammar, lovely meter, fun to recite over and over.

That one immediately came to mind, but so many other good ones have been posted. I like the Silvia Cynthia Stout one, and also the "My dad gave me a dollar bill, 'cause I'm his smartest son" one, though it's more of a story than a poem.

Thanks to the OP for stirring a fond childhood memory.

[Trillian]

The Smoke-off

Thank you, Dr Demento

[Roadwalker]

I read "Someone ate the Baby" to my high school class of tough kids and they loved it. It's one of my favorites.
I also like they limrick about his hair.
The poems are musts for read aloud.

[astorian]

My favorite is probably "The Winner" (the lyrics have always made me feel much better about being a coward!).


http://members.tripod.com/crazcowboy...ein/winner.htm

[Salieri2]

I loved Sick, Someone Ate the Baby , and I'm Being Eaten By A Boa Constrictor , to name just a few.

But IMHO, the best Shel, by far, was Different Dances (1979), now out-of-print--a wonderful, exuberant, depressing, poignant, hysterical, accusatory and satirical book of cartoons for adults...NOT something for the young ones. Every now and then I launch a used-book search for a copy I can afford. If you've never seen it, check it out sometime.

Oh, and the one about washing dishes I can't totally recall: starts "if you have to wash the dishes" and ends up dropping them on the floor. And the one about not picking your nose because there's a fierce snail living in there. And...

[Second Star to the Right]

Ah, Shel Silverstein. I'm definitely going to have to dig out my old copies of A Light in the Attic and Where the Sidewalk Ends after posting. I love all the poems mentioned already ("Sick" and "Sarah Sylvia Cynthia Stout" being favorites).

One I remember that always struck a chord was called "Cloony the Clown" (sp?). Anyway, I can't recall the whole poem cause it was a long one, but it was about this clown that was pretty much a failure( couldn't make anyone laugh, etc.) so he tells everyone how he feels, that it makes him sad that he can't make anyone laugh, and only then do they all laugh at him. I think the last line is something like:

"And Cloony the Clown sat down and cried." Sniff.


Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book is friggin' hilarious.

"D is for Daddy. Daddy needs a haircut. Poor daddy. See the scissors? Poor, poor daddy...." Not exact, but that's the gist of it.
Ah, memories...

[HDS]

Snowball

I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first - it wet the bed.

And a big second for Hug O' War. Gosh I love that one.

[Thudlow Boink]

Originally posted by Second Star to the Right
Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book is friggin' hilarious.

"D is for Daddy. Daddy needs a haircut. Poor daddy. See the scissors? Poor, poor daddy...." Not exact, but that's the gist of it.
Ah, memories...

Yes! If I remember correctly, poor Daddy can't afford a haircut because he spends all his money to buy you toys and oatmeal.

[hockeynut]

I like Smart. If read aloud, use the voice of Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy on the Cartoon Network.....

My dad gave me one dollar bill
Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou..
For three dimes -- I guess he don't know
That three is more than two!

Just the, along came old blind Bates
And just cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head
Too proud of me to speak!

[Breezy]

I don't know that it's my favorite, but one that occasionally starts in my head is

"Homework, Oh Homework
I hate you, you stink.
I wish I could wash you away in the sink.

I'd rather takes baths with a man eating shark
or wrestle a lion alone in the dark...."

I really can't remember much more of it, but I used to have the whole thing memorized.

Anyone know the rest?

[Dung Beetle]

Inside everybody's nose
There lives a sharp-toothed snail.
And if you stick your finger in
He may bite off your nail.

(something something something)
and he may bite your ring off.

Stick it all the way
And he may bite the whole darn thing off!


(or something like that!)

[Dung Beetle]

Is a wild strawberry really wild?
Will it bite an adult?
Will it snap at a child?

[Stephi]

That would have to be : Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too!

Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too
Went for a ride in a flying shoe.
"Hooray"
"What Fun!"
"It's time we flew"
Said Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too

Ickle was captain and Pickle was crew
And Tickle served coffe and mulligan stew
As Higher
And higher
And higher they flew
Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too

Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too
Over the sun and beyond the blue
"Hold on!"
Stay in!"
"I hope we do!"
Cried Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too

Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too
Never returned to the world they knew,
And nobody
Knows what's
Happened to
Dear Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too

[taichi]

World Eater said:
My memory is failing me, but IIRC there was one about someone diving into an empty pool. It had had something about "the most twistable turnable" in it, but I don't remember if that was describing the dive or the diver.

I think that is the one that starts out something like "The fanciest dive that was ever dove was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove..." and then ends with "...and looked down and saw the pool had no water"

Ha. Funny.

[FabioClone]

The Giving Tree

I always felt sorry for the poor tree. She gave all she had to that ungrateful lump of organic matter. The beautiful part is that she was so happy to do it.

Excuse me. I need to go wallow in childhood sentimentality.

[Violin D'Ingrate]

Mrs. McTwitter the babysitter
I think she's a little bit crazy
She thinks a babysitter is supposed
To sit upon the baby

[Kat]

Oh, one I just thought of. The one about the guy with the jeweled garden.

[Terrifel]

My third grade English teacher, Mr. Gerstel, was one of those great teachers who visibly love their job and are able to share that enthusiasm with the kids. He used to read Shel Silverstein poems to us in the most over-the-top method imaginable, jumping around, putting his whole voice and body into the performance. We loved it. To this day I can recite "Paul Bunyan" from memory, although I can't quite match the gruff bellow he used. "The Little Blue Engine" is another favorite of mine. I'll spare you the recitation, as they would take too long to type; if you don't know the poems, go buy the books...now!

Thanks, Mr. Gerstel.

[Second Star to the Right]

Originally posted by Thudlow Boink
Yes! If I remember correctly, poor Daddy can't afford a haircut because he spends all his money to buy you toys and oatmeal.

That's right! I guess the least I could give the guy is a free haircut.



The Giving Tree is a beautiful story. I think it's time for a re-read.

Ooh, "Smart" and "Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too", more favorites. Man, this thread is bringing me back.

[racer72]

Nothing to do?
Nothing to do?
Put some mustard in your shoe,
Fill your pockets full of soot,
Drive a nail into your foot,
Put some sugar in your hair,
Place your toys upon the stair,
Smear some jelly on the latch,
Eat some mud and strike a match,
Draw a picture on the wall,
Roll some marbles down the hall,
Pour some ink in daddy's cap - -
Now go upstairs and take a nap.

[Roberta Plant]

The Whatifs, which I think of every time I can't sleep:

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow tall?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!

[Saintly Loser]

Originally posted by RealityChuck
There's also "Stacy Brown has Two."

Yep. And "I Saw Polly in a Porny," and "Freaking at the Freakers' Ball," and "Get My Rocks Off," among others. I'm always amazed that Shel Silverstein, revered childrens' book author, was also a songwriter of amazingly dirty songs. A number of them were recorded by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show, and Shel himself released an album or two. Definitely NOT for children.

[dbygawdcapn]

As long as we are lumping in songs too.

Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh

[Kyomara]

Originally posted by Stephi
Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too...

Crazy. This poem may have been my first exposure to the Great Beyond. I think it used to give me chills.

From Uncle Shelby's ABZs:

L.
L is for lollipop. Would you like a nice big lollipop?
Go into the kitchen and look under the sinkfor another L-word: "lye." Pour some of it on the floor and tell Mommy you ate it. (This is a fib or a little white lye.) Mommy will take you to the hospital, and after they pump your stomach they will give you a nice big lollipop!

I also liked his censorship poem, "They've Put a Brasseire on the Camel."

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Exactly.
Exactly what?
Yes, I have an Exactlywhat on a chain.
You have exactly what on a chain?
Yes.
Yes what?
No, Exactlywhat...

I forget the rest, but it used to leave me in stictches before I discovered that he lifted the whole thing from Abbot and Costello.

Last one:

If I had a Brontosaurus,
I would name him Morris.
But if he suddenly had a bunch of little Brontosauri,
I would name him Lauri.

Mr. Smeds and Mr. Spats.

Pamela Purse yelled "LADIES FIRST!!"

Okay, this is really the last one:

Elmer came to school and said:
"Durn, I growed another head."
Teacher said "Elmer, it's time you knowed:
The word is 'grew' instead of 'growed.'"

Insanity.

[Derleth]

Hamlet As Told on the Street

What can I say? I love Shakespeare.

[Derleth]

http://members.tripod.com/crazcowboy...ein/hamlet.htm -- A better link to the poem. (My first one's a Google cache.)

[Rilchiam]

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me --
Anything can happen, child
ANYTHING can be.