Good morning Mister Zip Zip Zip
With your hair cut just as short as mine!
Good morning Mister Zip Zip Zip
You sure are lookin’ fine
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
If the candy don’t get you then the soda pop must
Good morning Mister Zip Zip Zip
With your hair cut just as short as, your hair cut just as short as, your hair cut just as short as mine!
Anybody remember that? My Dad told us kids a lot of silly little rhymes, including Mister Zip, and Here Comes Beat-Up Again… 
“I eat my peas with honey. I’ve done it all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on my knife.” (Ogden Nash)
“You’re a poet and don’t know it, but your feet show it: they’re Longfellows.” (I couldn’t find out who wrote this one.)
My dad said them both.
We’ve discussed this one from my Dad on the board before:
'Twas midnight on the ocean
Not a streetcar was in sight
The sun was shining brightly
As it rained all day that night
Two barefoot boys with shoes on
Stood sitting on the grass
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and killed the two dead boys
Ladles and Jellybean,
I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There will be a mothers’ meeting for fathers only.
Admission is free, pay at the door,
Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
We will be discussing the four corners of the round table.
I know Mr. Zip Zip Zip, and so does der Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Morning_Mr._Zip-Zip-Zip!
My Dad would do a version of “With 'Er 'Ead Tooked Underneath 'Er Arm” [The Ghost of Anne Boleyn] that we found both silly and creepy as hell. Anne Boleyn (w Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm) - lyrics - Genie - YouTube
My mom told me the “Your feet show it–they’re Longfellows” one.
Also, not my parents, but the bread man at our local market taught me this one when I visited the store with my mom as a wee sprog:
“The mule has two legs behind
And two he has before.
Don’t stand behind before you find
What the two behind be for.”
My mom used to say all of these (except for Mr Zip Zip Zip - that’s a new one), plus these two:
and
I heard this one with the tacked on ending:
If you don’t believe this story is true
Ask the blind man, he saw it too
And they smell like the Dickens!
I have always believed this was original by my grandfather.
Speak to me darling
Oh speaky, spikey, spokey.
Oh, why is that tear on your
Cheeky, chikey, chokey.
Oh, give me the answer
I seeky, sikey, soaky
Or I will jump into
The Creeky, Crikey, Crokey.
Hutsut ralston on the rillera
And a bralla bralla suet. (and repeat)
I know it as:
One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys.
If you don’t believe my lies are true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
and
Twas midnight on the ocean
Not a streetcar was in sight
The sun was shining brightly
For it rained all day that night
'Twas a summer day in winter
And the snow was raining fast
As a barefoot boy with shoes on
Stood sitting in the grass
Although, I learned the former from The Island of Doctor Brain and the latter from From Sea to Shining Sea, not from my parents.
The goofiest my mom ever got was: Ossifer, Ossifer, although I am under the alcofluence of incohol, I am not so dram dunk as some thinkle peop I am.
Mom would sing Shirley Temple’s version of “Animal Crackers (in my Soup)” to me.
My grandmother had something she said in Norwegian which rhymed. I could say it too but unfortunately I’ve forgotten it now. You acted it out like “Teensy-weensy Spider” and it started with the words meaning “Here comes a mouse.”
And one that always made us laugh was sung to the tune of “Irish Washerwoman.”
Oh, Mc Fermick is dead and Mc Finnick don’t know it.
Mc Finnick is dead and Mc Fermick don’t know it.
They’re both of them dead
And they’re in the same bed.
And neither one knows that the other one’s dead.
That is almost the version I heard growing up. Mine had the slight variation of:
My Grandmother: “Cheese is like a little Elf; digesting all but itself.” I think this meant that I wasn’t supposed cheese at the end of a meal. Which wasn’t a problem for me, so I was always a little confused. And I see according to its lack of a Google presence that she apparently made it up.
Not a rhyme, but my Grandfather always did this one: “Glad to see you back, Old Top! It’s been years, hardly knows ya!” Upon doing this he would lightly smack me on the back, top of the head, ears and nose at the appropriate times.
I immediately recognized “Cheese digests all but itself” from Joyce’s Ulysses. This reference indicates that a variant of your grandmother’s rhyme was already considered an “old adage” in 1854.
"Late one night while on a lark,
Goosing statues in the park,
If Sherman’s Horse can take it, why can’t you?
Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets in the train,
While the train is standing in the station."
“This is the day they give babies away
With a Half a Pound of Cheese.
You lift up the lid and out pops the kid,
With a Half a Pound of Cheese.”
“There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her fore-head.
And when she was good,
she was very very good.
But when she was bad
She was horrid”
My mom is totally jealous of my curly hair!!
My dad does the “peas with honey” one every. single. time. we eat peas. And is still doing it for my nieces now.
My mother often just quoted the “squeeze me til me fart” lines.
Me Mudder
When me prayers were poorly said,
Who tucked me in me widdle bed,
And spanked me till me ass was red?
Me Mudder
Who took me from me cozy cot
And put me on me ice-cold pot,
And made me pee pee if I could not?
Me Mudder
And when the morning light would come,
And in me crib me dribble some,
Who wipe me tiny widdle bum?
Me Mudder
Who would me hair so gently part,
And hug me gently to her heart,
And sometimes squeeze me till me fart?
Me Mudder
Who looked at me with eyebrows knit,
And nearly had a king size fit,
When in my Sunday pants me shit?
Me Mudder
When at night the bed did squeak,
Me raised me head to have a peek,
Who yelled at me to go to sleep?
Me Fadder
Once upon a time,
a goose drank wine,
A monkey chewed tobacco
on a street car line
The street car broke,
the monkey choked,
And they all went to heaven
in a little green boat
I have no idea what this was all about.
But my parents thought it was fun to sing in the car with a 6 year old kid .
Wow. Never seen this one. Love it, have to share it with my grandson. Are you aware that’s it’s a parody of Bert Williams’s hit song Nobody from 1906?