Strange and exotic deaths

[grimpixie]

Everyone else gets them - crushed by falling duck; drowning while bobbing for apples - but not me!!! No, I am destined to die being struck down by a meteor*, probably along with millions of others... Typical, even in death I follow the crowd...

Here's the offending site... How are you destined to die???

Grim
*or possibly a meteorite, the site can't make up its mind

[Ice Wolf]

I'm doomed t' be stung to death by a swarm of killer bees, then.

Safety tip: call a beekeeper when you have such problems.
Your corpse will be unidentifiable.

If I'm being stung to death, how th' heck do I call a beekeeper? "Hello? Beekeepers-R-Us? I'm being killed right now, can you do something about that?"

[Steve Wright]

I will be drowned while bobbing for apples ... and the question in my mind is: by whom?

[Lsura]

I'll be impaled from a rod of frozen urine expelled from a jet. And I didn't even know those things had urinary tracts.

[World Eater]

Crushed by a duck, yippie!

[Gravity]

Slaughtered attempting beastiality with a Kodiac!


...what, again?

[elbows]

Not sure how I'll die, however I do know what I'd like my gravestone to say:


"Death by Misadventure"

Oh, yeah, that's for me.

[Gr8Kat]

I'm going to be squashed by a giant duck, while Joel will be barbecued by an angry dragon.

[bayonet1976]

Originally posted by Lsura
I'll be impaled from a rod of frozen urine expelled from a jet. And I didn't even know those things had urinary tracts.

Me too!

Note to self: never travel with Lsura.

[Lucretia]

Originally posted by Gravity
Slaughtered attempting beastiality with a Kodiac!


...what, again?

Hey, so am I! You better stay away from my bear, beeyatch!

[lightingtool]

Decapitated by cannibalistic head-hunters!

wow. I need to stay home tonight.

Now, if they're cannibalistic, will they eat my head, or save it as a trophy? I do have an incredibly large noggin...

[dwc1970]

Looks like the Giant Duck will get me, too.

[Zebra]

Mauled by a Mob of Midgets!


At least my death is alliterative.

[roadrunner70]

I'm getting the meteor...

I never knew ACME^TM made meteors...

Oh well...MEEP...*SPLAT*...

[Mahaloth]

Originally posted by roadrunner70
I'm getting the meteor...

Me too!

[Cisco]

Head hunters

[Coldfire]

When your death comes, you will be
leap from a tall building in a superman constume!

And apparently lose all my grammar skills in the process.

[raz]

Struck by a train at a railroad crossing!

Dear God no! That is truly one of my biggest fears! It's not helped by the fact that my friend told me that one time she was driving across the railroad tracks and the drop-down barrier things CAME DOWN OVER HER CAR!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Michael Ellis]

Struck by a Meteor!

[ManDuh003]

Slaughtered attempting beastiality with a Kodiac!
What a grizzly end. Imagine the how the coroner will explain these findings.
I'm sure your family will keep this hush hush!

Wow! That is deffinatly an interesting ending!

Gravity and Lucretia you want to go out to the woods sometime?

[Terrifel]

AAAHHH!!! THE DUCKS!!! THE DUCKS ARE HERE!!!

ARMY SARGEANT: It appears that the ducks are attacking the city! Hm!

OLD PROFESSOR: Ah! The ducks are headed for the power lines!

DUUUCKS!!!

--YOU'RE NEXT!!!

[Rico]

When your death comes, you will be:

Flattened by a falling piano!

Hmm...and I'm a keyboard player...

Maybe I'd better give it up?

[Guinastasia]

I will be mugged to death by midgets! Cool!

I want a death by misadventure
Wanna die face down in some dude's pool
Not gonna kick in my sleep lying on my dentures
When I die, Jack, it's gonna be real cool

[Mooney252]

Strange:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...webbaby08.html

[Mockingbird]

Death by urine.

Yay me.

[phouka]

Another bear-lover here. Killed by the love that dare not speak its name!

[WillSantini]

I'm not following some dumb website, I'm going to follow my destiny of being killed, when I'm 80, by a jealous husband.

[Hilarity N. Suze]

They can't even spell fuchsia and they think they know how I'm gonna die?

[BraheSilver]

Wow. I'm to be "Barbequed by an angry dragon!"

Burninating's a nasty way to go. The best I can hope for is to be well marinated when I get it.

[racer72]

The midget mob is going to get me too. I don't even know any midgets.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers of his bus.

[grimpixie]

Originally posted by Mahaloth

Me too!

You guys don't live anywhere Southwest London do you - 'cause if you do then I am seriously worried

Grim

[Nangleator]

WTF! Sneeze my brains out? How lame is that!

By the way:

Meteoroid: Rock floating in space
Meteor: Rock which hits atmosphere and becomes visible while falling
Meteorite: Portion of meteor that makes it to earth

[An Arky]

Mauled by a Mob of Midgets...

Hell, I get that from my kids every night! The especially like to pin me down and jump on me till I cry out in pain, then repeat.

[Steve Wright]

Originally posted by Nangleator
By the way:

Meteoroid: Rock floating in space
Meteor: Rock which hits atmosphere and becomes visible while falling
Meteorite: Portion of meteor that makes it to earth

So ... since, technically, you're not a part of the Earth, the thing is, in fact, still a meteor during the brief fraction of a second while it's crushing you to a paste?

(Incidentally, is "brief fraction of a second" a tautology?)

(And am I the only drowned-bobbing-for-apples person in this thread? Bad enough having a bizarre death, without it being an unfashionable bizarre death as well ... )

[insomnia4AM]

I'm getting the meteor as well.

What less likely then being struck by lightning? That's right! A meteor strike!

Lucky me!

[Gazelle]

Just before clicking the Get Test Results! button, I felt a tad frightened.

Then I saw my fate and all fear was lifted.

When your death comes, you will...

Drown while bobbing for Apples!

Can you imagine the discussion at your funeral?
What a way to go!

[jazzmine]

Originally posted by Steve Wright
(And am I the only drowned-bobbing-for-apples person in this thread? Bad enough having a bizarre death, without it being an unfashionable bizarre death as well ... )

We can't have you unfashionable, now can we? I'll do the Drowned-Bobbing-For-Apples death as well. I'll even do it at the same time so as to make things less complicated for after.

[UrbanChic]

When your death comes, you will be
Struck by a train at a railroad crossing!
Remember to obey the crossing gates!
Your impatience will be your end!

Although I'm quite impatient, I don't fark around with train tracks.

[manwithaplan]

It's the piano for me. At least my demise will have a soundtrack.

[Spiff]

Originally posted by racer72
The midget mob is going to get me too. I don't even know any midgets.

And your continued insistence on propagating this bald-faced lie is just pissing them off even more!

[Amp]

Crushed by a giant duck.

[Blackeyes]

Headhunters. Damn.

[Second Guest]

I, too, shall meet my end with the Kodiak. (I'm sure there's a "Polaroid Moment" joke in there somewhere.)

And yet, the only thing about this bit of information that I found troubling was that the correct term is bestiality, isn't it? If it's going to kill me, I'd at least prefer not to appear ignorant at the moment of my demise.

[beckwall]

Originally posted by Ice Wolf
I'm doomed t' be stung to death by a swarm of killer bees, then.
If I'm being stung to death, how th' heck do I call a beekeeper? "Hello? Beekeepers-R-Us? I'm being killed right now, can you do something about that?"

Me too. Maybe we can split off in separate directions, diverting half the swarm each way, then meet up again in the middle. We be smarter than them average bees, right?

Well, at least we can share the cost of the call to the bee keeper.

[Scribble]

I'm going to be decapitated by cannibalistic head-hunters.

According to the website, I should quit traipsing around in out of the way places and stay closer to home.

[LouisB]

I'm a meteoric kind of guy. If I were a girl, would I be a meteor maid?

[Polycarp]

Originally posted by Steve Wright
So ... since, technically, you're not a part of the Earth, the thing is, in fact, still a meteor during the brief fraction of a second while it's crushing you to a paste?

(Incidentally, is "brief fraction of a second" a tautology?)

A meteorite is, by definition, at rest on the surface of the Earth. Even if you count as part of the surface, it's impacting you and has not yet come to rest. "Brief fraction of a second" is indeed solecistic, if not truly a tautology. It resembles "for long aeons the ___ waited" in Lovecraftian works -- ever seen a short aeon?

Me, I'm getting struck by a train at a railway crossing -- which, considering what they misnomer as grade crossings around here (I've seen lower hills with their own names!), seems quite probable.