What's the worst way to go?

(Serious answers need not apply. Irony and wackiness appreciated.) I’m thinking – crash landing in the middle of the Sahara in a small plane with a cargo of nothing but peanut butter sandwiches.

Hijack the space shuttle, and aim toward the sun.

Being killed by a spoon.

MC at the Azgoths of Kria poetry convention

Being a party pooper, my first “serious” thought was to die at home, but not even be discovered dead for a long period of time (months/years), due to the fact that you had no contact with the outside world and there was nobody who cared to find out if you were still alive or dead. That would be just sad - and yet you read about stories like this every once in awhile.

On another somewhat serious note - when I was in my 20’s and went to Crete with some friends, I was out walking along the cliffs by myself. Nobody around for a good mile or so. I stood on a ledge, hundreds of feet above the ocean and looked out. Then I walked a bit further down and stood on another ledge. Suddenly, just about 60 seconds after I had left the other ledge, it broke off and fell all the way down to the ocean! I figure if I had stood there just one more minute, they probably would never have found my body after that huge drop, and I would have been digested by sea creatures. Needless to say, I quickly backed off the ledge where I was standing and barely made it back to the village, shaking all the way.

Being forced to drink urine until you die (water poisoning).

trying to have sex with a grizzly bear?

Edit: in public.

In sin!



Top or bottom?

buzzsaw, crotch first

I don’t know, can you point out “Go” for me on a map?

Probably after my girlfriend sarcastically said; “Way to go!” after making love.

…If you’re a girl, standing up.

I hear that cirrhosis is pretty unpleasant.

Slipping on sandy steps, bumping down a few on your butt, and then falling into a chasm. Embarassing, then fatal.

Note: I have actually done this while coming down the trail from Vernal Falls in Yosemite Park, except that I did not quite go over the edge. There was no railing to keep me from falling into a canyon filled with foaming water and house-sized boulders. It was embarassing and almost fatal.

Being coated in beer batter and then deep fried would be rather nasty.

Another nasty way to go would be to be sandwiched snugly between two sheets of steel. The top half of the sandwich rotates clockwise at 1 degree per minute. The bottom half rotates in the opposite direction at 1 degree per minute.

I remember hearing something about being skinned slowly alive, so you remain alive after being skinned, and then doused with salt water. That would be a prettly horrible slow death.
Any slow death would be horrible. I’d prefer a quick death. Don’t care what happens to my body afterwards, as long as I don’t suffer.

Being dressed in a gold bikini and chained to the throne of Ken Davitian (bka the fat guy from Borat) and dying from being smothered.

Going to the 9th District of NOLA wearing a FEMA shirt and saying “What up my n----rs! John Mayer loaned me his hood pass!”