A prompt by Orange Skinner’s Rather Strange Poll About Sleeping and Feet got me thinking about some of the advice I’ve received from my parents over the years. While reading that thread, my Mom’s advice: “Never, ever wear underwear or socks to bed - your body needs to breathe” started to literally ring in my ears.
A search the boards over the past year yielded:
What the fuck are you people teaching your stupid kids? By pkbites (in the Pit)
and
Just how much influence should parents have on their grown children? By JustPlainBryan (in GD).
Oddly enough (unless I used the wrong keywords), nothing about those little nuggets of wisdom your parents still hold.
Truth be told, I don’t know if Mom’s advice about allowing your body to “breathe” at night is correct - I guess I’ll ask the next dermatologist, podiatrist & urologist I run into. I do know I’ve never owned a pair of pajamas in my life and even in the dead of winter the only thing you’ll find me wearing to bed is a smile (and occasionally a few remnants of emotion lotion).
Through my childhood, teens and adult life, both my Mom & Dad have given their advice on a whole host of topics (religious & political I’ll avoid here) that I’ve come to find doesn’t hold much water. (Notice how polite I am in refraining from using the term bullshit).
Here are the first few family tenets that come to mind:
[ol][li]From Mom: “You can never be too rich or too thin”[/li]Sorry Ma, throughout most of my 20’s and 30’s too many people have said I look too wiry or unhealthy. Though I don’t ever see myself attaining the volume of wealth to be considered too rich, I’ve heard more than enough summertime comment that proves you can be too thin.
[li]From Dad: “A stiff prick has no conscience”[/li]Yes, I realize you often used this ditty to warn me of the perils of bedding down anyone (especially the neighbor down the block) just for the sake of carnal pleasure, but I’ve always hated it.
[li]From Mom: “Before you marry a girl, check out her Mother - That’s the way she’s going to look / age in 20 or so years”[/li]This one used to scare the crap out of me. In fact, it probably had a subconscious affect on who I chose to date. In hindsight, it probably saved a couple of them from a future of grief and aggravation.
[li]From Mom: “Well behaved children become treacherous teenagers, young children that are a handful won’t give you grief in their teenage years.”[/li]My 2 are still to young to debunk this one, but if this rule has any truth to it, number one will be a breeze & number two is gonna be giving me my comeuppance.
[li]From Mom: “If you have a son, don’t name him Michael. Most boys named Michael are hellraisers.”[/li]I think we’ll just let that one hang there by itself.
[li]From Mom: “Whenever there’s a space launch, all it does is rain the whole time they’re up there. It must caused by a disturbance in the atmosphere.”[/li]Ma, we live in NY, they launch satellites & the shuttle from Florida. Even if your theory had any basis in truth, Oh never mind…Do I look like Al Roker to you?
[li]From Dad: “If you roll around in shit, you’re gonna come out smelling like it”[/li]My dogs have proven there’s a ring of truth to this advice in the literal sense. But I’ve come to discover you can learn just about anything from anyone. I’ve learned as much from gambling-addicts at the OTB as I have from some professors. Maybe that’s why I usually have a better time having a drink with the dregs of society at a neighborhood bucket-of-blood than I do in a VIP room at a posh club.
[li]From Mom: “It’s alot cheaper running the dishwasher at night”[/li]I’ve gone so far as to have her study her electric & water bills to dispel this one. Unlike the phone company, there’s no such thing as off-peak discounts on her utility bills but she insists she’s right. She may be helping to prevent brownouts in the community, but she sure as hell ain’t saving any $.[/ol]
So there you have it. A few of the many tidbits I was raised with. Tenets handed down to me from my vain, strange, opinionated and occasionally stubborn parents (whom I love dearly).
So tell us fellow dopers, do any of you have any parental advice you’d wish to share…or debunk.
