If you don’t stop crossing your eyes they will hang that way!!!
If you fall out of that tree and break your neck, don’t come crying to me!
are just a couple that come to mind for me.
Anyone else got any of these?
Yours truly,
aha
Never date a preacher’s son, they are the worst.
If you don’t stop wrinkling your forehead, it will wrinkle forever.
You want to run away, ill help you pack.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
When I was little, my sainted mother told me that if I got a splinter and didn’t let her remove it, it would enter my bloodstream and kill me.
I am embarrassed to admit I was considerably older when I realized she was lying.
Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa…
the old watermelon will grow in your stomach thing if you eat the seeds.
Chewing gum sticks to your ribs if you swallow it. I had this vision of my ribcage being a big wad of Hubba Bubba.
How 'bout we sing ‘Kyle’s mom is a stupid bitch’ in D minor?
If you don’t stop making that face your face is going to freeze likt that!
ohh and the most important on… as long as he doesn’t beat on you, cheat on you, or spend all his time in bars…he’s a good man.
:rolleyes:
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Reversing the question:
We have quite a few moms here, and even more future moms… have you ever told you kids anything along these lines? I guess a benign lie is Santa Claus, for instance… but faces freezing in mid-grimace, or splinters causing death… seem a little scarier.
I remember realizing that Santa wasn’t real… it wasn’t particularly traumatic, but I did wonder why parents had this huge conspiracy about it…
So – if you do – what motivates you to tell your kids this stuff?
- Rick
When I was just a baby, my Momma told me, “Son, always be a good boy. Don’t ever play with guns.”
Change Your Password, Please and don’t use HTML, as it has been disabled
I tell my kids if they don’t get put their best effort into schoolwork and head towards college after high school, they are going to live in a cardboard box under a bridge, not too far from the truth really.
How 'bout we sing ‘Kyle’s mom is a stupid bitch’ in D minor?
Never stick your tongue on metal when it’s this cold outside.<my brother, of course, didn’t listen, and lost some of the skin from his tongue>
If you keep making that face, it’ll freeze that way, and you’ll never have any friends.
If you eat that gum, it’ll take at least 7 years to digest, and then it still may gum up your innerds.
As for myself, I have told my kids that they will be treated how they treat others.
To have a good friend, you first have to BE a good friend.
Stuff like that. I don’t think I’ve ever told them outrageous stuff that couldn’t possibly be true.
I did tell them about the real Santa Claus, the one who lived so many years ago, and what he stood for. I prefer the truth in such things, lies are always a bad idea.
Seen on billboard near home:
Don’t make me come down there.
God
I can’t believe no one’s said anything about, “If you sit so close to the tv, you’ll ruin your eyes!” My mom also said that about reading in the dark (which may or may not be true).
She also told me not to play in that tree with that rope because I’d end up hanging myself…Who the hell did she think I was? Some sort of IDIOT? Choke…choke…gasp!
“Don’t bother to pack your bags, Or your map.
We won’t need them where we’re goin’,
We’re goin’ where the wind is blowin’.”
It’s always funny until someone loses an eye!
haha Purplebear… I cant count how many times I had the skin ripped off my tongue when I was a kid cuz I thought it was so neat to stick it on metal during the winter. Hmm also my thumb in the car lighter cuz i was told not to… I was definitely a learn by my mistakes kid.
Another favourite of my mom’s was… once you go all the way, you cant go back to holding hands.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
OK, I’m storing this one. I might use it against you in the future, if you don’t mind 
Coldfire
Voted Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk
"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
“WHATEVER YOU DO, don’t get a dog right after you get married.”
Mom was very emphatic about this one.
Sucks to your assmar.
How about, pick your friends carefully because people judge you by the people you associate with.
Clean your plate, think of all the starving people in the world
You’ll catch a cold if you don’t wear a hat outside (in winter)
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
My folks said, “No reading right after you’ve eaten, you’ll get a headache!” :rolleyes:
Yeah, right.
I suspect they just wanted us to stay at the table long so that they could try to make human beings out of us. (They’re still working at it.)
“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket
Mom’s favorite was:
Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
She didn’t tolertate whining from us kids.
Thanks, CanadianSue for that. I did it once, but never again. Ouch!
That’s true, my mom also said “don’t watch tv without a light on”
Don’t sit so close to the tv, your eyes’ll go buggy
Turn that light on while you’re reading! you want to go blind or something?!?!
Don’t look cross-eyed at people, your eyes will freeze that way, and then where would you be?
Finish your plate, young lady. Think of all the starving chidren in the world who’d be happy to have that to eat!<once, I said, so send it to them!,boy, did she get mad at me!>
Seen on billboard near home:
Don’t make me come down there.
God
I try hard not to lie to my kids. It just doesn’t seem fair. My wife tells me about a lot of lies her mom told her, along the lines of what people are talking about here. I don’t want to do that to my kids. I want them to be able to rely on me when I tell them something.
The Santa Claus thing has been a hard one. It seems wrong to say there is a Santa Claus, but it also seems wrong to deprive them of it. I try to stay along the lines from the “Yes, Virginia” reply, so I have some weasel room.
My oldest is 4 1/2, so we haven’t made it to the drug issue yet.
It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.