The most dangerous things on Earth(according to Mom)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was just thinking about some of the things that rated 11 on the Mom scale of dangerous activities. The things that always got a full panic reaction

  1. Sticking a metal fork in the Toaster. Aparently the heating coils created Tachyon field of instant death should anything penetrate the top plane of the Toaster. The field is intensified in a Microwave so that it will destroy most of the galaxy should it be turned on with metal.

  2. Dented cans. All dented cans must immediatedly be conveyed and thrown into Mt. Doom before the unspeakable evil inside is released.

  3. Running over the cord with the vacuum cleaner. So danagerous the ‘or else’ was even never whispered.

  4. Anything with Mayo that has been out side the fridge for any contiguous time interval longer than ‘One Meal’

2

The list is too long.

There must be more than a thousand things just in the category of Will Put My Eye Out.

3

Raw cookie dough or cake batter, or ice cream containing either of those things, according to my mom. Anybody who eats it will get trichinosis.

4

Swimming before 2 hours have passed since your last meal can disrupt the fabric of space-time

5

  1. Swimming less than exactly one hour after eating.

  2. Going barefoot anywhere except the beach and pool area.

  3. Not putting Bacitracin ointment and a Bandaid on every single cut or scrape.

  4. Sitting too close to the TV.

  5. Microwave ovens in general.

  6. Undercooked anymeat.

  7. Unwashed produce.

  8. Driving barefoot.

I’m sure I can think of more.

6

Not doing whatever it is that my mom wants me to do at that moment. She will find a way to show how it will result in the destruction of all that is good and holy. Or it might result in HER having to do it, a far far worse fate.

7

Pork, even bacon!
Tans-fat, even one molecule.
Strangers
A public education
Vaccination shots
Alcohol
Cigarettes, even just one.

:rolleyes:

8

I can beat the lot of you - one word - I win the thread.
Motorcycle

9

Yeah, my mom said that, too. I didn’t listen; but when I look at my scarred knee and hip, there’s the distinct possibility that mom was right.

10

I’m an overly concerned mom.

Driving.
Being a passenger in a car that anyone else except your dad or I am driving.
Crossing the street.
Being at the houses of people I don’t know.
Talking on the phone when it’s storming.
Hanging out with other kids that might want to play “the choking game”.
Microwaving things.

Should I go on?

:smiley:

11

Dang! That whole “being alive” thing will get you killed!

12

I know, it’s awful! I worry so much, that sometimes I feel that I really shouldn’t have had children. There’s so many things out there that you can’t control, and as a control* freak*, I don’t like that. But my boys are pretty good at letting me worry out loud when I need to, and telling me to stop when I don’t need to.

13

In my family, it was my Dad. Uncooked hot dogs and anything that a fly had touched.

Low on the list, sheets that have been touched by skin that had not just been showered or, worse, by feet that have touched the floor.

14

My mother was completely and utterly convinced that anyone riding in a car without shoes on would be immediately caught, prosecuted, and sent for a long, long stint at Sing Sing. The thought of actually DRIVING barefoot was so horrific it was not to be borne. I never really figured out exactly why.

15

That’s funny, because at age 46, I’m on the cusp of buying my first motorcycle, and when I told my mom about it last weekend, she still freaked out.

16

Hah, my parents flipped out over scooter.

Also, driving barefoot. (Not the scooter, obviously.)

Talking on the phone during a thunderstorm. (The phone doesn’t even have any wires coming out of it anymore!)

Going out when it’s below 70 or so with wet hair

17

Popping a pimple on your face is likely to send the puss up into your brain where it will presumably explode.

Monty Python was absolutely forbidden in our house (I never understood that one).

18

My mother cosigned for my first motorcycle loan 25 years ago :eek:

This puts things in a somewhat different perspective.

19

I’ve deduced that in my parents’ day, ceiling fans were made out of scrap metal and razor blades, 'cuz everyone of that age is scared to death of the things.

20

Was she the primary beneficiary on your life insurance? Just an innocent question.