I hate that fucking cartoon. I really really don’t understand what makes it so popular. The animation is horrible, the music is mind-numbing, and the stories are pointless.
On of my main concerns is with the characters proportions. They don’t seem to be in proportion to each other at all. Not in terms of size, but in terms of shape. It’s as if each character is drawn by a different artist, with some of them going for a cartoony look, and some of them making a failed attempt at doing actual proportions. It turns the whole cartoon into a mess.
Then there’s all the stuff people put in it to make it seem like it’s not a crappy cartoon - I’ve seen at least one version with a laugh track. Are they TRYING to make it crappier!? And who the hell’s idea was Scrappy Doo!?
But all those things set aside, that is not the main reason I hate Scooby Doo. It is the fact that they play in on Cartoon Network (a channel that I sometimes watch, and that my siblings watch all the time) practically 12 freaking hours a day. It drives me nuts. Like many things I hate, it’s not that it’s crappy, but that it’s crappy and so many people think it’s so great.
Does anyone else hate this cartoon as much as me?
Scrappy Doo?
Don’t believe he’s Scooby’s uncle. Look how he stands. Yup, just like Velma. DO you notice that we don’t see Velma in the Scappy Doo cartoons? That’s because she doesn’t want to work with her illegitimate child by Scooby. Don’t believe the rumors of Velma being a lesbian; she is a zoophilic, and it is rumoured she is in Montana with the Militia group founded by Elmer Fudd.
You heard it here first…
I don’t mind the cartoon so much, but I am sick to fucking death of the debate about whether the characters represent the Five Colleges (Amherst, UMass, Smith, Mt. Holyoke and Hampshire), and which of the girls represents which women’s college (Smith is Daphne! No, Mt. Holyoke is Daphne!). I go to one of the five, and let me tell you, people seriously argue about this. Why does anyone give a fuck? It doesn’t matter!
Scooby Doo is so funny exactly because it is so crappy and pointless. Most of those older cartoons they show are hilarious because they are so incredibly cheesy.
People argue about which colleges those weenies represent?
I cannot deal with Scooby or any of his various incarnations. Scrappy is incredibly lame, and we’ll not even discuss the violent revulsion I feel at the mere mention of A Pup Named Scooby Doo.
The only thing that would make me watch Scooby Doo is if the writers finally just showed us Shaggy & Velma rolling a big fat one in the back of the Mystery Machine, and toking away. Shaggy is supposed to be a hippie, right? And my Goddess, the way that boy eats, you know he’s got some major post-smoke munchies. You know it! Now that I’d watch.
It’s true. How pathetic is that?
If you’ve got time on your hands, there are a couple of discussions about the stereotypes of the five colleges that degenerated into a huge fight over the Scooby characters on the Daily Jolt (a college website):
http://fivecol.dailyjolt.com/forum/read.html?id=146
http://fivecol.dailyjolt.com/forum/read.html?id=160
So, Geobabe, d’ya go to Velma or Daphne? A good friend of mine attended Freddy several years back…
Oh, yeah, I fucking hate fucking Scooby Doo, too.
Well, I’m not sure, since nobody can seem to decide once and for all which is which!
Velma is more Holyoke than Smith. Although Smith is definitely not Daphne. Daphne is more of a Umass Southwestie - she’s a little to ditsy-mainstream-blonde to represent Smith. The fact that Daphne doesn’t truly fit a Five College stereotype should pretty much render the Scooby Doo/Five College arguement moot.
To the OP: Scooby Doo is a pretty awful cartoon. Its content is formulaic, predictable and generally moronic. But it was such a big part of many Americans’ childhoods that it sticks around for nostaglgia reasons. Besides, the main reason I like it is because its fun to make stupid references to its content. In College I was in a band called “Those Meddling Kids”.
I love this. People going around and around about which of these snobby, overpriced colleges some of Hanna-Barbera’s lamest creations represent while 99% of the planet either (a) has no idea or (b) could care less.
I swear, New England is Arkansas with money and plaid clothes.
Go to http://www.cartoonnetwork.com and get into their games. There’s one that lets you throw rotten fruit and garbage at Scrappy, Scooby, and Shaggy! Very gratifying!
So don’t fuck him any more.
It does have a skeptical point of view in regard to the supernatural. I think Cecil would approve.
Sorry, but I don’t have the URL where I downloaded this, so I can’t attribute it.
HAMLET: THE LOST QUARTO
This recently discovered folio edition of “Hamlet” follows other known versions closely until Act V, Scene II, where it begins to diverge at line 232, as will be seen:
KING …`Now the king drinks to Hamlet.’ Come, begin,
And you the judges, bear a wary eye
Trumpets sound. HAMLET and LAERTES take their stations
HAMLET: Come on, sir.
LAERTES:Come, my lord.
Enter FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY, AND SCOOBY
DAPHNE: Wait!
SHAGGY: Stop the fight!
HAMLET and LAERTES put up their foils
KING: I like this not. Say wherefore you do speak?
FRED: Good lord, I pray thee, let thy anger wait.
For we, in seeking clues, have found the truth
Behind the strange events of latter days.
VELMA: The first clue came from Elsinore’s high walls,
Where, so said Hamlet, Hamlet’s ghost did walk.
Yet though the elder Hamlet met his death,
And perforce hath been buried in the ground,
'Tis yet true one would not expect a ghost
To carry mud upon his spectral boots.
Yet mud didst Shaggy and his faithful hound
Espy, with footprints leading to a drop.
This might, at first, indeed bespeak a ghost…
Until, when I did seek for other answers,
I found a great, wide cloth of deepest black
Discarded in the moat of Elsinore.
'Tis clear, the “ghost” used this to slow his fall
While darkness rendered him invisible.
FRED: The second clue we found, my lord, was this.
KING: It seems to me a portrait of my brother
In staine’d glass, that sunlight may shine through.
FRED: But see, my lord, when placed before a lantern–
KING: My brother’s ghost!
HAMLET: My father!
VELMA: Nay, his image.
FRED: In sooth, that image caught the Prince’s eye
When he went to confront his lady mother.
Nor did his sword pierce poor Polonius.
For Hamlet’s blade did mark the castle wall
Behind the rent made in the tapestry.
Polonius was murdered by another.
The knife which killed him entered from behind.
LAERTES:But who?
FRED: Indeed my lords, that you shall see.
HAMLET: And if this ghost was naught but light and air,
Then what of that which I did touch and speak to?
The GHOST enters.
GHOST: Indeed, my son.
SHAGGY: Zoinks!
DAPHNE: Jenkies!
GHOST: Mark them not.
Thou hast neglected duty far too long.
Shall this, my murderer, live on unharmed?
Must I remain forever unavenged?
SCOOBY and SHAGGY run away from the GHOST. SCOOBY, looking backward, runs into a tapestry, tearing it down. As a result, tapestries around the walls collapse, one surrounding the GHOST.
GHOST: What?
FRED: Good Osric, pray restrain that “ghost,”
That we may reach the bottom of the matter.
Now let us see who truly walked tonight.
FRED removes the helm and the disguise from the GHOST’S face.
ALL: Tis Fortinbras!
FRED: The valiant prince of Norway!
FORTINBRAS: Indeed it is, and curses on you all!
This Hamlet’s father brought my own to death,
And cost me all my rightful heritage.
And so I killed this king, and hoped his son
Would prove no obstacle to Norway’s crown.
Then Claudius bethought himself the killer
(As if one might be poisoned through the ear!)
The brother, not the son, took Denmark’s throne,
And held to Norway with a tighter grip.
I swore an end to Denmark’s royal house.
I spoke to Hamlet of his uncle’s crimes.
Then killed Polonius to spark Laertes.
This day, with poison’s aid, all might have died,
And Denmark might have come to me as well
As my beloved Norway and revenge.
My scheme blinded them all, as if by fog
But for these medd’ling kids and this their dog.
KING: The villain stands confessed. Now let us go.
For much remains to us to be discussed.
And suitable reward must needs be found
For these, our young detectives and their hound.
EXEUNT OMNES.
Copyright 1993, Michael S. Schiffer.
That looked better in the original. I forgot how the stupid UBB left justification eliminates all indentations.