How do you and your partner handle money?

[Emilio Lizardo]

I’d like to hear from my fellow cohabitating dopers how you and your partners handle money. Since my wife and I moved in together, we have each maintained our own checking account. We also have a joint account, into which we each put a lump sum each month, and from which are paid joint expenses, such as rent/mortgage, car payment, utilities, groceries, etc. Each of us has the credit cards (and debt) we brought to the marriage, and things like dinner, movies, vacations and the like are handled on an “it all evens out in the end” basis. This system prevents a lot of friction, since we can buy whatever we want without criticism, but it has left us feeling a little adrift.

Four years later, its time to try something new. We would like to have our paychecks deposited into the joint account, which will pay for most everything, subject to some nominal approval. From this joint account, we would each get an allowance, which can be spent on whatever we please. My wife earns considerably more than I do but she has higher overhead as well. She works in a professional office, which requires professional clothing, whereas I am in academia so I can dress like a bum. She also commutes by train while I commute by bicycle. So our allowance would likely be proportional to income.

Anyway, I am eager to hear how other couples handle money issues, what you’ve learned, and how you avoid typical money problems, e.g. resenting what your partner buys. Any and all help/insight is appreciated.

[Phlosphr]

Put it this way for starters, if money is an issue make absolutely sure you are on the same plane.

My anecdotal account of my finances with my wife>

I met her in grad school. I was bartending, not making ends meet and praying to the universe that I did go to grad school for a reason and was going to make enough money when I got out to pay for all this...

Well we both graduated and I was picked up immediately by my baccalaureate alma mater as an assistant prof. Two years later the assistant was taken away...

Anyway, back to when we first moved in together. She was extremely anal about the finances, and insisted on controling them. I had never been very good at organizing my own finances so I agreed. It's been 8 years and she still does the finances....She has single handedly helped me climb out of the depths of financial hell and my credit now is damn good...But it has taken a long time. For her, she has always had outstanding credit...
Together we have several accounts, joint checking, joint savings, individual checking individual savings, a money-market, a stock, and our individual 401-k accounts. There are a few IRA's and a Roth floating aruond in there as well.

As for resenting what your spouse buys....I personally do not resent anything she has bought, as it is her money she uses. Both of us make a decent wage so this is not really an issue for us.
However, if money were an issue, I can certainly see how resentment could breed from your situation. I would recommend having a talk about how you spend, and where etc...etc... and really getting on the same page with one another. I do not have a cite available, but I believe money is one of the largest causes of marital dysfunction leading to the Big D.

[rjung]

My wife and I share everything. She generally leaves the bill-paying chores to me, and periodically asks how much money we have in the bank. I try to make sure she always has some cash on hand, and she asks me if she ever needs more (she's got a credit card as well, but prefers not to use it). All big-ticket purchases and expenses get discussed first, so there's no resentment or surprises.

Works great so far.

[Audrey Levins]

Mr. Levins and I have always considered our money to be equally available to both of us; we both bartend, so we always have a lot of cash....I'm the one with the bank account, but we both deposit our checks into it to pay bills. (When I met him, he was in the process of getting out of a failing business, and for awhile there he was afraid that if his name was on any account, his creditors would freeze it....til the whole thing was solved/cleared up/etc.)

We never have gotten around to getting him his own account, b/c we operate on a cash basis for most things. Neither one of us have a credit card (long story) so if we don't have the cash in hand for it, we don't buy it.

He'll check with me on purchases over $100, and vice versa, but neither one of us are particularly concerned about it.

I know a lot of couples who fight all the time about money, but we've never been like that; it just isn't a big deal. Our money is truly ours, with neither one of us in total control of it.

[picunurse]

Hey! I remember you! your the guy that dismembered a refrigerator in your basement! And the USA Today box!
How are you?
Anyway, to answer your question, I've been married 3 times. We used different styles of money management.
The first was in the '60s. We met in the Air Force, so we both had paychecks. I gave him mine and he handled the money. If I needed something I asked.
Marriage II was much later, the '80s. We each had our own checking, savings etc. we also had a household account only for bills. We each put in half of everything owed. It was like room mates. It lacked trust. The marriage failed.
My current husband & I have, what I think, is a good routine. We have one joint account. We each use what we need, but we discuss anything over say, $50.00. We trade off handling the the account every 6 months or so. That way, we both know about what we owe, so no one feels slighted. We talk about what things are pending, what income we expect for the month long term plans and goals. Its not like we call a meeting, we just talk about it in our day to day conversation. We just communicate.
I'm a little more frugal than Phil, so sometimes I have to be the bad guy and say no, we can't afford to quit our jobs & the sail around the world. Because we keep everything up front, we don't have any resentment. We're a team.
Phil says we use the KISS money manager = Keep it simple, stupid.

[Kalhoun]

Joint everything. We both believe that you can't operate a household unless you know exactly what you have to work with. I pay the bills every week so we know how much we have to put in savings and how much we can piss away. I start balancing the checkbook every month; fuck it up, and he finishes the chore. We only consult each other on purchases over $100. It works out well, and no one feels slighted.

[Violin D'Ingrate]

My ex and I did the yours, mine and ours division like you're using right now, and it worked beautifully. Truth be told, money was one of the few things we DIDN'T argue about. He bought all kinds of things that I thought were stupid and useless, but since it wasn't with 'my' or 'our' money, I could be enthusiastic and share in his joy when he brought home the newest gadget.
Our bills got paid from the joint account, and our personal expenses were paid from our individual account. Our car payments and car insurance were considered 'personal', though, as I am more of an economy sedan kind of gal and he was definitely a sports car guy, and we were never going to find a compromise, so we each paid for the car we chose and drove.
We were both happy with the arrangement. What specifically is making you feel 'adrift?"

[Giraffe]

Mrs. Giraffe and I were in a situation remarkably similar to the OP when we got married. She is a professional who makes more than me, but has higher associated costs for clothing, etc. Before we were married, we had our own accounts, and each paid part of the household costs out of that. We both really liked being able to buy things without asking permission, and were worried about problems that might come from combining finances.

However, it hasn't been a problem at all. We sat down and worked out a budget (which we occasionally revise) to see how much money we had left over after all the bills are paid each month, and how much would go to savings vs. personal/household spending. We each get an equal amount of money in the budget per month to spend on whatever we want (e.g. books, CDs, etc.), with personal spending beyond that run by the other person first. The other categories reflect our different needs -- for example, she has a higher clothing budget than I do. I track our spending in Quicken to see how we're actually spending our money, which helps us see how well we're keeping within our budget/allowance.

It's been really nice -- we feel much more like a single family unit with shared finances, and it's great not having to keep track of who paid for what. We were both surprised at how natural it has been, given our initial reservations.

[Scarlett67]

Mr. S and I have always had separate accounts, and we've been married 13 years. Bills are divvied up according to income; when he made most of the money, he paid most of the household bills, and now that I make most of the money, I pay most of the bills. We're both uber responsible about making sure bills get paid, and we frequently discuss what major bills are coming up and how we're going to pay them, and also major purchases. We were both, er, cash-challenged in our early lives, so we both can be tightwads when we need to.

There was a similar thread over on Fathom recently, and one poster made a comment to the effect that you're not really committed to the marriage if you don't have everything in both names. I called bullshit. I love my husband to the nth degree, but my heart is not connected to my checkbook. Whatever works for the people involved, whether joint or separate accounts or a combination, is what counts and IMHO says nothing about the quality of the relationship.

[aerodave]

Originally posted by rjung
Works great so far.

That's exactly how my wife and I do it. Works for us, too.

[Gatopescado]

We share the financial responsibilities around the old ranch.

I earn it and she spends it.

(I wish I was joking.)

[JThunder]

I gather into into a huge pile and then roll around in it.

[TaxGuy]

My wife totally takes care of our finances, and all of our accounts are held jointly. I couldn't tell you within $1000 how much we have in any of our accounts right now.

(Since I'm a tax lawyer and she's a trial lawyer, most people are totally surprised that she's the one running the books.)

[Gorgon Heap]

Poorly. That's all I have to say about thay-at.

[Chefguy]

My wife pays all the bills and tells me when I'm about to step on our fiscal dick with the credit card. I take care of the investment portfolio. That said, we both work and make respectable incomes and if one of us decided to blow the entire year's salary on chicken lip futures...well...that's pretty much our right to do so.

[John Carter of Mars]

Originally posted by rjung
My wife and I share everything. She generally leaves the bill-paying chores to me, and periodically asks how much money we have in the bank. I try to make sure she always has some cash on hand, and she asks me if she ever needs more (she's got a credit card as well, but prefers not to use it). All big-ticket purchases and expenses get discussed first, so there's no resentment or surprises.

Works great so far.

We do almost exactly the same. Only difference is we each have a checkbook, and keep each other informed about any checks written. This two checkbook thing will only work with good communication. Also, we aren't usually close to overdrawn, so we haven't had a problem with it.

[Voyager]

We are absolutely in tune about money. We've maybe had two minor fights about it in 25 years. We both hate debt, and neither of us has any urge to buy big ticket items, unless we absolutely have to. We have one checking account, one savings account, and some money funds. Whoever is free pays the bills (mostly here for the past few months because I've been busy.) All bills go into a basket where they are visible. I balance the checkbook, but that is because I enjoy it. (I did it even before I enjoyed it - ie pre-Quicken.) I think this comes from having Depression-era parents who taught us about not being in debt.

We never ask each other permission to buy things, because we never would buy anything remotely expensive without fretting about it. (And not because we don't have the money.) I don't think either of us could stand living with someone who spent more than they made. Hell, I saved money when I was in graduate school!

[Nvme77]

I had a thread about this once. It was titled something like "Is a threat of divorce real?"

Needless to say, that has blown over and we are much more in tune with expressing our ideas about how the money should be managed. Mr. NVME has handled everything beautifully. Our only debt right now is our home and less than $600 in medical expenses. I make about $7000 more a year than he does. I sometimes feel like it entitles me to the world which is where threads like the above mentioned get me.

I wholeheartedly admit that I am inept with finances and he has rescued my credit. We have a joint account, I have cash available to me, anything major is discussed together. He knows darn well I could blow about a grand on a night out if I had the opportunity with the cards which is why I dont and never have. I love him too much to blow what we have worked hard to create.

[DeadlyAccurate]

Originally posted by Emilio Lizardo
We would like to have our paychecks deposited into the joint account, which will pay for most everything, subject to some nominal approval. From this joint account, we would each get an allowance, which can be spent on whatever we please.

This. Exactly. Our allowances are equal, even though he makes more than I do. But I also do most of the housework and take care of the bills. Large purchases which benefits the house (furniture, for example) get discussed.

[MrVisible]

The VisiBoyfriend and I have a joint checking/savings, and we each have individual checking accounts. Each month, we lump together all the bills; past debts, car insurance, everything. Then we split it in proportion to our incomes. We each pay half of our total owed out of each paycheck. And we don't use the joint account for anything else; at least not without significant discussion, and a firm commitment to paying it back in a definite time frame.

Sure, sometimes there's a disparity between income and debt, but this way each of us gets disposable income proportional to our paycheck, and we make sure that neither of us gets into trouble.

So far, it's working well, and we're paying things off steadily.

Things are going to get much, much more complicated when we go about buying our house. Eeek.

[DMark]

Mr. and Mr. DMark have a rule. What's yours is mine.

22 years later, still no problem. Once he earned more, now I do.

We never buy anything major (over $100) unless both agree.

We live in Las Vegas, so even when we go out and play video poker, and one of us should win, we split fifty-fifty.

We might not always have a lot of money, but we always have exactly half the amount.

[manwithaplan]

My wife and I have a joint checking account, joint mortgage, joint credit card, separate SSIAs (savings accounts with government incentives, only separate because it entitles us to more free lolly from the man). It works fine for us and we would only consult one another about particularly large purchases. We certainly don't bother with allowances. We earn similar amounts but we'd still organise things the same way if we didn't. The only drawback is when we buy presents for each other - it's just not the same.

[Kyann22]

My fiance and I have joint checking and savings and it works out great. Money is one thing that has never been a problem, except for a lack of it sometimes. He makes a little more than I do, but nothing significant. Whoever happens to open the bill or is on the computer usually pays the bills. Any major purchases are researched and then the decision made together. It works great.

I have to agreee with manwithaplan. The presents thing just isn't the same at all!

[Atrael]

Just like manwithaplan said, buying presents isnt' the same when there's a joint account, and one person manages it. My wife takes care of all of our finances, mostly because I'm totally inept at it. About the only way we differ from most of the joint methods talked about here is that we don't really have an allowance. That's because for right now, every dime that we have that isn't for a bill, goes towards a credit card. So that means we have less on hand cash available. But we're just keeping in mind that once we have the two cards paid off, we'll have so much free cash it'll be silly. And enjoying the thoughts of what we'll be able to do then. I think communication is key, as well as flexability. Don't be so ridgid in things that you snap from frustration. So every once and a while, we'll spend some extra on something for the house, or a nice dinner out. By indulging in those every once and a while vices, it's easier to deny ourselves other times.

[Umbriel]

We pool everything. Going into marriage, my wife had proposed maintaining separate accounts, but that felt artificially divisive to me, and I convinced her. I'd say my wife functions as family CFO, and does most of the strategic planning (subject to discussion with me). I, meanwhile, am the Bookkeeper, paying the bills and managing the cash. We're both frugal (sorry gatopescado), and both would feel awkward spending more than $100 or so without the other's approval.

[jsgoddess]

I have a checking account and savings account, we share another checking account. My husband is disabled, so my paycheck goes into my account which then pays all of the bills. I find it much easier to keep track of that account when I know that he won't be using it. The other account is for discretionary spending.

Julie

[ivylass]

Ivylad and I are complete opposities when it comes to money.

He writes a check, and records the amount by rounding up. He would pay late on bills, whereas I would sweat if I only had $90 left for the week.

When we got married, we had a joint account, and it was a mess. He'd forget to record ATM withdrawals, and living on a shoestring wasn't a lot of fun.

Then I moved to Florida and he followed about six months later. Of course, since I was down here first I had to open my own account. Then he moved down, opened his own, and the finances have kind of separated themselves naturally. We each have our own credit cards, no joint, and he put me on his account but I never got around to put him on mine. (I never access his account, it's just in case.)

I pay the mortage, the water bill, the garbage pickup, and the newspaper bill. He pays the mortgage on our rental house and the electricity bill, and also buys the groceries. We're responsible for our own credit card and cell phone bills. It's made things a lot smoother.

I guess it depends on how you and your SO deal with money..if you're in sync, then joint should be fine. But if you have different approaches, then separate would be better.

[CrazyCatLady]

Dr.J makes a little over twice what I do. I give him a little less than half my paycheck, and he pays all of our joint bills, as well as his personal stuff and some of the groceries. I pay my personal stuff (car insurance, medical bills, clothing, etc.), buy some of the groceries, and take care of the pets out of the rest. Since that leaves him with more disposable income than I have, he picks up the tab for most of the stuff we do together, and we talk about major purchases.

[Dangerosa]

When we first co-habitated we kept seperate checkbooks. It was my house and he paid me for rent and utilities.

Later we added a joint checking account. We'd both put enough money into the joint checking account to pay the bills.

Later still - after our marriage - we moved to all the money going into the joint checking account and both of us getting an equal allowance to spend as we saw fit.

Once we had kids and ample income for ourselves and our children, we scrapped the seperate checkbooks. We now have one account, discuss major expenses, and spend for ourselves on minor expenses without discussion from the joint checkbook. This has only been possible because we live below our means - so there is always money left over (and don't tell my husband how much or he will spend it!)

[Debaser]

I am still just engaged, so I don't have anything to contribute yet to a discussion like this.

However, it never ceases to amaze me in discussions like this one how many people are still balancing checkbooks by hand. Cause, ya know, there's like this whole internet thing now.

[Hanna]

He makes it, I spend it.

[rjung]

Originally posted by Debaser
However, it never ceases to amaze me in discussions like this one how many people are still balancing checkbooks by hand. Cause, ya know, there's like this whole internet thing now.

I balance my accounts with Quicken, but I still prefer to write out checks by hand for a tactile confirmation that the bill's been paid. My brother's been singing the praises of online bill-paying for a while now, though, and I might give that a try sometime.

[Debaser]

I almost consider it superstitious thing.

I think your right. People want to feel the check passing through thier hands. Clearly, even if folks using an online message board still write checks there has to be more to it than just not liking technology.

Eh, to each his/her own. I'm not one of them jerks who complains about the check writers in the checkout line. They can bang out a check in 10 seconds most of the time, IME. It takes me several minutes to write a check the couple times a year I actually have to.

[Gatopescado]

Originally posted by Boscibo
He makes it, I spend it.

When did you start posting here?

_____________
Never kiss an animal that can lick its own butt.

[greck]

I'm a big fan of keeping the money as separate as possible.

less to fight about that way.

[rackensack]

Fifteen years ago when we met, I was the poster child for financial irresponsibility, while my wife was my polar opposite -- no debt, always paid everything on time, extremely frugal. Even when I had enough money to pay my bills on time, I somehow always seemed to be late with them, or to not pay them at all until a disconnect notice or other drastic communication arrived. The only reason I didn't have thousands in credit card debt is that I'd managed to charge more than I could pay on one department store and one gas company card I got in college, and was in default on my student loans, so no one would give me a general credit card. My credit was bad, but at least I was forced to live on a cash basis for the most part.

Once our relationship became relatively serious, she insisted on taking over my finances. Despite my reluctance to give up my independence and control, I agreed, since I obviously didn't enjoy the tasks involved and it was the only way our relationship was going to work out in the long run. It wasn't as if I hadn't already begun making some positive steps -- I'd refinanced my student loans by having my parents co-sign, had started an automatic withdrawal CD savings plan with the bulk of the proceeds from a big raise, and had put most of my recurring bills on CheckFree (a very early electronic bill payment program). I managed to save enough on my own to buy a car when I changed jobs and needed transportation, and by the time we got engaged I'd saved enough over the previous year to pay for a small but high quality diamond ring -- establishing my bona fides, so to speak.

Almost as soon as I handed my finances off to her, however, the improvement accelerated. I'd always hated balancing the checkbook, paying the bills, etc. (partly because it was always so depressing how little I had left), but she positively enjoys it. I was much happier knowing that things would be taken care of without my having to agonize or stress out over it. She's extremely careful with money, which has made me think more carefully about how I spend it myself, and the success we've had in saving and managing money has changed my attitude about it to a remarkable degree.

By the time we got married, she'd turned my finances around to the point that I was able to get approved for a mortgage on our first house by myself, without including her and without paying any kind of interest rate premium. For a short while, we simply added my name to one of her existing credit card accounts, but I've subsequently applied for and received cards in my own right. Indeed, while her FICO score is generally near 800, my own has climbed well above 700, from "I didn't know they went that low" territory just a decade or so ago.

We maintained separate checking accounts until after the wedding, when we merged them into one (we have a second joint account now with a different bank, mainly because I don't trust anyone with access to my money, so one is for direct deposit only, with the funds transferred into the other immediately after they arrive). Most of our investment accounts are jointly held, except for IRA/401k accounts and an account she has jointly with her mother (who believes that a woman should have some money independently of her husband).

We pay for almost everything with credit cards for the convenience, and have never paid a cent in credit card interest or late charges. When we've taken advantage of "twelve-months-same-as-cash" financing deals on appliances and such, they've been paid on or before the due date in accordance with the stated terms and conditions. We use the credit cards in large part because it simplifies balancing the checkbook, and it eliminates any issues of my writing a check that doesn't get recorded (I haven't carried a checkbook in years).

What we don't have, though we've talked about it, is some sort of allowance or "mad money" system. She almost never wants to spend any money without discussing it with me first. I do occasionally chafe at the feeling that I have to run every prospective purchase, no matter the size, past her for approval, or that I have to convince her to agree to the occasional indulgence that she doesn't necessarily approve of (a new bass guitar and amp, to the tune of about $450, for example). Anything more than $25 or so that I'm tempted to buy, I generally wait out for a while (years in some cases) to see if the whim passes, and while it's a great way to avoid blowing money, it does wear on me at times -- particularly since I've been the sole breadwinner for seven years now. But it's that cautious approach that allowed us to weather nine months of unemployment in 2002, and still have a operating deficit for the year of only about $850.

Having said all that, I do think (and it's borne out by the other responses in this thread) that it matters less how you do it than that you agree on how you're going to do it.

[DaddyTimesTwo]

My wife stays home with the kids, except for a part-time job of 5- 10 hours a week, and I thus make 98% of the family income. It goes into a joint checking account. We have some retirement accounts separately, but all bills get paid from the joint account. We talk about big purchases, usually, although I've surprised her a few times with some "big" presents (a tanzanite ring and, uh, a Kitchen Aid mixer - romantic, I know). She, however, manages the check book 95% of the time, and writes most of the checks. I am going to try the online check thing here sometime soon, which would mean I would prolly be responsible for bill-paying from that point going forward.

[dil]

Originally posted by DeadlyAccurate
This. Exactly. Our allowances are equal, even though he makes more than I do. But I also do most of the housework and take care of the bills. Large purchases which benefits the house (furniture, for example) get discussed.

Agreed! One joint account that pays for all the major stuff and then allowances are the best way to go. And it doesn't matter to me one bean that I earn double what my wife earns. To me we are a household making X amount of money, rather than one person making Y and the other making Z, who just happen to be sharing expenses. Our allowances are equal amounts. When we have small children, I want my wife to be home with them, and what then? She gets no money? No, we are still equals.

We have a budget for all the regular stuff like clothing, groceries, dining out, bills, etc. but what is great about the allowances is that if she wants to buy clothing above and beyond what is budgeted for the month, she can. It just comes out of her spending money. And if I want to buy a DVD or stereo equipment or something that she doesn't care about, I use my spending money. We also have a separate gifts category in the budget, but I often use my spending money so I can go over and above what the gift budget would allow. Any spontaneous gifts, like flowers, comes out of my spending money too.

It is definitely the way to go, but I would strongly recommend against making the allowances proportional to your individual incomes. If you are together for the long haul, through thick and thin, its time to stop thinking about "mine" and "yours" and start having an "ours" mentality. The allowances system helps you to feel like everything is shared, but it also helps avoid the little squabbles about one person wasting money on such-and-such.

[Urban Ranger]

My SO controls my life, so what's a little money, eh? j/k

I would love my SO to take care of my finances, not that I am irresponsible fiscally, but I am a slacker when it comes to paying bills. The only dilemma is I would not be able to surprise her with nice gifts now and then.

[SJSB]

Well, when we get our wage slips, he covers his eyes and I stick my fingers in my ears and go: "La, la, la, I'm not listening."

It's kind of like hear no evil, see no evil. We just need a non-talking monkey.

[Podkayne]

I do the managerial stuff--make sure the bills get paid, balance the checkbook, etc. I think that just works better if one person handles that and has all the information in hand. We're both big procrastinators, but I'm just slightly less of a slacker than he is. Occassionally, I badger him to sit through a Qucken session with me so he knows how everything goes--which bills are paid automagically by electronic transfer, which once need to be paid with a check, etc.--in case something were to happen to me.

He's still responsible for entering all his own purchases (ATM withdrawls and credit card purchases--we don't bother keeping very close track of how cash is spent) so he sees the account balances and has a general idea of how much discretionary money sloshing around.

When things were tight, we'd confer on purchases over 50 dollars ("I need new clothes for work--can we swing that this week?") Sometimes I'd nag if the little things started adding up, and try to urge him to put off buying stuff we don't need, or to choose the cheapest thing available, but we never had to have a strict budget. We'd just tighten the belt together and pare it back to the bare necessities until the savings account started building up again. Now, happily enough, we don't have to consult one another unless the transaction is a lot larger. I may have trained him a bit too well, because now I have to nag him to buy something of decent quality that will last us a while instead of reflexively getting the cheapest model he can find.

We have a similar level of fiscal responsiblity, and pride ourselves on being considerate of one another by being mindful of our collective finances. To us, an allowance system would seem fussy and contrived, and, more importantly, would imply that somebody's not capable of restraining himself or herself, so it would probably lead to friction. However, if you and your SO have different ideas of what financial responsiblity means (you want to track every penny while she's never balanced her checkbook, or you think nothing of racking up a few thou of credit card debt while she pays her balance every month without fail), or if you both like have a very precise budget, then the allowance system might be good for you.

[Jammer]

We created a new approach when my wife resigned from her position about 6 years ago to concentrate on raising our growing family.

I've always done all the bill paying/financial planning/saving from my paycheck. When my wife was working she just had her own account and did things like buy groceries and household stuff from that. That worked pretty well, but the revenue for that account dried up when she resigned from her job. We tried sharing the joint account that I manage after that, but we struggled with keeping track of our seperate expenditures. I'm anal about keeping good records and she doesn't share that same world view, so joint account only just wasn't the ticket.

Our solution was to reopen her own account again. I've set up my payroll direct deposit to send a portion of my monthly salary to her account. She has her own money and also has certain responsbilities (groceries, basic household stuff, etc). I pay all the bills and completely control the joint account. If she has unusual expenses, I will provide for that out of the joint account, but only upon request. This satisfies my anal need for complete record-keeping on the main account. This approach gives us the freedom to spend as we wish for the most part, though we would normally talk about buying something if it was more than say $1000.00. Seems to work for us.

Jammer

[DMark]

Originally posted by Debaser
I
However, it never ceases to amaze me in discussions like this one how many people are still balancing checkbooks by hand. Cause, ya know, there's like this whole internet thing now.

Begin of Rant: I know, and unfortunately, I usually have to stand behind these people in supermarket lines and you can read their lips, "three minus two is, uh..." as they balance their checkbook while everyone behind them has to wait. Usually the same people who do not begin to write the damn check until after the total is rung up. Would it kill them to write down the name of the supermarket while they are waiting in line? And these are the same people who don't even know you actually can use an ATM card for purchases. End of Rant. Back to our topic.

[FairyChatMom]

We dump all of our income into one joint account. From that, a weekly allowance goes into another joint account. I pay all the bills, buy the groceries, allocate to savings, and whatever from the main account. He lives off his allowance account. If he has an expense or a special purchase come up, I'll transfer funds from the main account.

This is how we've done things for most of the last 20 years. He just doesn't think about things like bills whereas I could tell you within a few dollars what our monthly expenses will be. I'm a penny-pincher most of the time. We discuss major purchases and we occasionally look at our budget just to see where we are in the grand scheme of things.

So far, so good.

[Doctor Jackson]

How do you and your partner handle money?

Briefly. All too briefly.