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#1
12-24-2003, 02:18 AM
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I Know Everything - Just Ask!
Today, while debating my current girlfriend, a consensus was reached that indeed, I KNOW EVERYTHING! As proof of this I am offering you, the little people, an opportunity to ask me ANYTHING, particularly about interpersonal relationships. Ask away my children.......................................................................
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#2
12-24-2003, 02:33 AM
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How many beers did I have tonight?
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#4
12-24-2003, 02:57 AM
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One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend of 6 years. He really misses her. But then he meets this new chick. And after a couple of weeks of seeing her (there in the friends stage now), he "hopes" something will happen. This girl is a former coke head, and on the night before Christmas eve, she is at a bar drunk, and can barely stand, her eyes are open, but hardly. Yet he "hopes" a serious relationship will come of it. You see, he's not used to fast women, which she is. His previous girlfriend was a goody goody, so he really isn't use to this type of women. Now, I'm not a professional, nor have I ever had a girlfriend, but I can clearly see that he is setting himself up for disaster. Now seeing you are all about the interpersonal relationship stuff, just what the fuck is his problem?
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#5
12-24-2003, 03:10 AM
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I can feel this guys pain but he's gonna have to suck it up and be more realistic. A 6 year relationship cannot be shrugged off (unless you're a sadistic cold hearted female) and he needs to know that quick romances with the local bar slut only treats the symptoms, not the problem. Also, once a coke head, chances are OVERWHELMING that she'll be a coke head again someday. These chicks have their uses, but girlfriend material is not one of them (hehehe). Tell him to use her like the pig that she is and try to find a nice girl when time allows.
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#6
12-24-2003, 04:30 AM
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Ok here goes... why do women complicate things so much ? Why do they play hardball even when they want something to happen ? Do women really like sex at all ?
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#8
12-24-2003, 07:21 AM
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How can the world be made a good and happy place?
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#11
12-24-2003, 03:00 PM
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All right, I'm a little pressed for time so I'll answer all of you, briefly...Rashak, of course women enjoy sex, after all it gives them a measure of control over us! As far as them playing "hardball" I think if you become a little bit more assertive they'll ease up. Treat them like the pigs that most of them are and watch her change to accomodate you! Good luck my man.
Merge, what exactly are you swallowing this time? Fisher Queen, I don't have time to give an in-depth answer to your question but off the top of my head I'd say we need to get rid of all guilt-based religious crap. Organized religion sucks. Oh yeah, more blowjobs. Merhouse, your question is nonsensical, try phrasing it another way. Casey, I'm a busy man and can only answer serious questions. Have a good Christmas Eve everybody! Be good to one another!
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#12
12-24-2003, 03:02 PM
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Mah Nishtana HaLila Hazeh Mikol Haleilos?
Zev Steinhardt
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#13
12-24-2003, 03:22 PM
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What are the major theoretical implications of switch-reference as it is observed in Mojave, Cahuilla, and Hopi. Please utilize at least three major syntactic frameworks. Show your work.
__________________
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever." - David St. Hubbins
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#14
12-24-2003, 03:40 PM
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I just told my son that I know everything, then he asked me, "Okay, then when was Jesus born?" I had to admit that I didn't really know exactly. I told him that no one knows for sure. But since you know everything, maybe you can tell us... when, exactly, was Jesus born? (and I don't expect the cop-out answer of when Christians celebrate his birth)
PS: Is your girlfriend going to be checking your progress in here?
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#15
12-24-2003, 03:42 PM
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Who is the current parlimentary leader of D66?
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#17
12-25-2003, 03:16 PM
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What wine goes best with a chicken tikki masala and popodoms?
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#18
12-25-2003, 03:46 PM
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How exactly did my parents become such morons?
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#22
12-25-2003, 06:32 PM
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Why do I attract women who are the opposite of me, for example I attracted a coke head 16yr old who has sex alot, and is quite loud, and I'm really thinking what I should do, should I use her or leave it?
I'm a goody goody person, not much experience, she doesn't know this much yet, so yeah what to do?
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#23
12-25-2003, 06:36 PM
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OK, so I'm a long-term single guy and I signed up for some romance ads. Now I'm conversing with four different women, one is a buddist, one is Jewish, one is both(!), and I don't know about the fourth. So, as a lapsed Presbyterian (can't even spell it), how should I handle this?
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#24
12-25-2003, 06:36 PM
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Is the Frankenstein-Dracula variation sound?
__________________
Arnold Winkelried: 'glee, I take my hat off to you.... at first I thought you were kidding with your cite but I looked it up and it was indeed accurate. (Still in awe at the magnificent answer)'
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#26
12-25-2003, 11:56 PM
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Will I ever have contact with my missed friend again?
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#28
12-26-2003, 02:52 AM
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What a day! Merry Christmas to all!
Let's get to it shall we? ZEV...In order to receive a response from me you must present your question in English. It's not that I don't understand your Pig Latin it's just that the English language is the best "thinking" language so it's what I use. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. OL GAFFER...Due to time constraints I need to limit my answers to each query to 50 words or less...Besides, do your own homework! SHIB...My sources tell me that Jesus was actually born on January 04. Don't believe me? Prove it! GQ...What the fuck? TRUTHBOT...Because any idiot that would leave a cake out in the rain shouldn't be given the chance to do it again. RABID...White Zin, always White Zin, with ice in it. Enjoy! 7UP...Your parents aren't morons they're right; Keep the pot smoking to once a day and for Gods sake apply the same rule to touching yourself. Good luck kid. You're from Canada huh? How nice for you, eh. TIGER...It's because she actually believes that you can drain more fat off the food that way and she thinks it will make you lose some of that ass. She's wrong on both accounts. ACE...WTF is a pocketses? Go to the back of the line. RL...16 is pretty young. There are plenty of crack whores who are of legal age. SIS...If it were me I'd bone all four of them and then make a post about who was the best. I'll be watching! GLEE...No they aren't. PIC...I've seen the stuff inside Stretch Armstrong, and I know what it tastes like. FLAM...If your friend is alive then your paths will cross again. If dead then I wouldn't count on it. GOUDA...If you do my gut instinct tells me it will be just that, luck. I should charge you guys for my prognostications. Now, go away, and bother me no more tonight.
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#29
12-26-2003, 07:00 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
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#30
12-26-2003, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Arnold Winkelried: 'glee, I take my hat off to you.... at first I thought you were kidding with your cite but I looked it up and it was indeed accurate. (Still in awe at the magnificent answer)'
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#31
12-26-2003, 05:00 PM
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GOUDA...Christ I'm not a psychic man! However, my life experience tells me that you probably won't, due to the apprehension you are obviously exuding. Women can smell that shit, just like dogs can smell fear. I'm still rooting for you though. You ought to hook up with RL, he's got a 16 year old skank he's trying to shake.
GLEE...You got me. Why don't you celebrate by taking a trip? A long one.
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#33
12-26-2003, 09:47 PM
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Well, you did say anything...
What've I got in my pocket?
__________________
All generalizations are wrong, including this one. -George Carlin (1937-2008)
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#34
12-26-2003, 11:42 PM
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Quote:
 F_X
__________________
Bring on the extra-mediocre honey-roasted peanuts! -- Eric The person you have reached is either switched off, unavailable, or not wishing to answer your daily request for mindless prattle... -- Spoz
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#36
12-27-2003, 04:49 PM
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How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
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#38
12-28-2003, 11:44 AM
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I don't know how you can claim this title. My father's favorite thing to say to me was "Okay, okay, you've got all the answers!", so I figger that makes ME the fount of all knowledge. I'm just too humble to brag about it on the SDMB. No, really.
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#39
12-28-2003, 01:05 PM
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Do you know what the Celestial Master Cecil Adams does to mugs who horn in on his " I Know Everything - Just Ask!" franchise?
__________________
There's an Initiation Ceremony. It involves a Squid and a Goat. You're gonna be good friends with that Goat. The Squid will not exactly be a stranger, either. ~~Me, on the SDMB Initiation
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#43
12-28-2003, 10:41 PM
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Did your parents go to different schools together?
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#45
12-29-2003, 03:17 PM
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Could Luigi (of Mario Brother's fame) beat up Barney Rubble?
Why do fools fall in love? Why the duck-billed platypus?* *Not why is it anything. Just why it is.
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#49
12-29-2003, 11:49 PM
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Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
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Hey if he isn't back soon can I guest host?
Linear Mode
