“Honey, if I were dead, which of my friends would you ask out first?”
Next?
If there was a fire and you could only save me or your mother, which would you save?
“If there is one thing you could change about me, what would it be?”
“The hottest one”
“Myself”
“Your face”
“Do you think my sister is hot?”
“Not particularly, but damn is she wild in bed.”
My wife told me once, “If I die, marry Jill.” Yikes! Several years later she told me that was the worst advice she ever gave me.
How did Jill feel about that?
This reminds me of a time in college when my gf and I double dated at the lake with my buddy. We were all 23 but my buddy’s date was 18 (he thought she was much older when he met her) and looked like a centerfold.
My gf said to me, " Boy, I sure wish I looked like that when I was 18".
I answered, “Hell, I wish you looked like that now!”
I knew as I was saying it but somehow couldn’t stop the words from coming out. We broke up soon after that.
How would you like my hair?
Do I look fat?
The only possible answer: Do you think the Yankees will lose this afternoon. (Game starts in five minutes.)
I’ve an ex-girlfriend who once got mad at me because I had never insisted she grow her hair long. I like long hair on women, but since she felt uncomfortable with that I had always kept my mouth shut about it, since it seemed to me I shouldn’t pressure her for my own amusement. She was still angry when someone who’d known me longer commented that her boyish cut was atypical for women I’d been involved with.
Whose {insert food here} do you like better–mine or your mom’s?
Who do you love more, your dog[/cat] or me?
I’ll answer that one in a heartbeat. It’s always going to be the human.
This is a question you should never ASK, not a question you should never answer.
My wife also has a friend who’s supposed to take care of me - with everything that implies - if she dies. I think said friend is cool with that.
Can I date the friend in the meantime? I wish long life to your wife but things are a little dry hereabouts.
For the love of god, don’t answer this one. Especially if the above has just gotten implants. Just run away. Far far away.
I’m totally going to ask my husband that this evening. 
“Should I get implants/plastic surgery/a tummy tuck?”